


You and I

by themorninglark



Category: Free!
Genre: Future Fic, M/M, Tokyo (City), University
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-29
Updated: 2014-11-14
Packaged: 2018-02-19 06:23:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 38,334
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2378108
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/themorninglark/pseuds/themorninglark
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Haru takes a deep breath. “I’m going to Tokyo.”</p><p>It’s the last thing Haru wants, for Makoto to think that he’s going to Tokyo for him. Because he’s not, but at the same time, he is, and how both facts can be true at once, Haru has no idea. But they are.</p><p>And Makoto lights up.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. where important questions about food are pondered

“Makoto.”

Haru’s voice is soft and seems to float away on the summer breeze, but he knows he doesn’t need to go any louder. Makoto will hear. And sure enough, his best friend stops in his tracks, and turns around.

His eyebrows are slightly raised. “Haru?”

They’re walking home from Iwatobi SC Returns. Summer is hot, too hot, and since nationals ended and they came home, Haru has been spending every waking hour possible in the pool there. He’d never once asked Makoto to come with him. He’d known Makoto would come anyway.

But it’s different, this time round. This time, Makoto isn’t here _just_ for Haru anymore. Haru doesn’t know how he can feel it, but he can. It’s not that Haru isn’t a reason, but now there’s more to it, for Makoto: he goes for himself as well, for his own sake, to steal every moment he can in this place of cherished memories, before he leaves for a long, long time.

This Makoto, who’s gone ahead and forged his own path, is not the same Makoto who once looked down at him with shimmering, huge eyes from the top of the slide and said, _it’s no good if you’re not there, Haru-chan._ Makoto's moved on. He does things on his own now. They both have to.

Which makes Haru want to swallow his next words. Maybe, without knowing it himself, he's always been following where Makoto leads. He can't help feeling a little irritated at that thought, but it dissipates when he looks at Makoto, who's waiting for him to say something, with that patient, expectant gaze.

“I’ve decided.”

Makoto’s eyes widen. He doesn’t say anything, yet.

Haru takes a deep breath. “I’m going to Tokyo.”

The _too_ at the end of that sentence almost slips out unconsciously. _I’m going to Tokyo._ _I’m going to Tokyo too. I’m going to Tokyo too, Makoto._

But he bites it back just before he says it. It’s the last thing Haru wants, for Makoto to think that he’s going to Tokyo for him. Because he’s not, but at the same time, he is, and how both facts can be true at once, Haru has no idea. But they are.

And Makoto lights up, just as Haru had hoped - well, had known - he would. He lights up. There’s no other way to say it, thinks Haru, as he watches those gentle green eyes brighten, and the hugest smile Haru has ever seen spreads across his face. “Really? That’s wonderful!”

They stand like that for a moment, framed against the still-shining summer sun, Haru with a small smile on the corners of his lips as well. Maybe Makoto hasn't moved on that far on his own yet, then. Maybe there's still space for Haru to walk next to him. _  
_

“Haru - “

Makoto’s gaze never wavers. He takes a step towards him, and Haru suddenly wonders, for no reason at all, if Makoto’s going to hug him.

It’s a strange fact of their relationship that they don’t hug. They touch, plenty: Makoto hangs on to Haru’s sleeve, jumps behind him when he’s scared and grips his shoulders so tight that Haru feels his arms might fall off, they’ve held hands lots while younger, and they still do it every time Haru comes out of the water and Makoto’s there. Touching’s not a problem.

It’s not that they don’t hug other people, either. If they’d had issues with hugging, it would have not been possible to be a certain Hazuki Nagisa’s friend. Makoto’s siblings hug Haru all the time. Even _Rin’s_ hugged Haru. And group hugs? Sure. You can’t really say no to them after a relay, and Haru has to admit grudgingly that they make him smile.

But one-on-one hugs just aren't in their vocabulary of gestures.

Is this going to change? Haru feels himself tense up as Makoto sets his foot down, and -

\- he stops. Just a few paces nearer to Haru. A few paces still between them.

“I’m really happy,” Makoto finishes. “I mean…”

He drifts off mid-sentence, pauses, and looks down briefly. Now it’s Haru’s turn to wait.

When Makoto speaks again, he sounds slightly embarrassed. There’s the slightest hint of pink on his cheeks. “I mean, I had made up my mind, you know, and told myself I would go to Tokyo, with or without Haru. But in the end - I’m still really happy that you’ll be there too.”

And the smile returns to his face, as he meets Haru’s gaze again. The blush, if it was ever there, if it hadn’t just been Haru’s imagination, is gone. There’s nothing there but that maddeningly open, direct honesty that is so _Makoto_. Haru thinks, not for the first and certainly not for the last time, that he will never, ever understand how Makoto says things like that without wanting a hole in the ground to open up and swallow him.

He looks away. “I haven’t booked my ticket yet,” is all he says, as he starts walking again.

“Well, you have my flight details, right?” says Makoto, falling into step beside him.

“Mmm,” mumbles Haru noncommitally.

“We should fly together! Since we’ve both never flown much before.”

Haru had had a feeling that Makoto would say something like that. He can’t really see the logic in it. How will it help either of them to fly with someone else who's also an inexperienced traveller? When he and Rin had flown to Australia and back, he'd pretty much let Rin take care of everything. He'd been kind of out of it, then.

Besides, knowing Makoto, he’ll be terrified of the takeoff and the altitude, and he’ll cling on to Haru like a kitten every time there’s the slightest bit of turbulence -

 _Okay,_ thinks Haru. _Fine. Maybe there’s a good reason to fly together._ If Makoto’s going to cling to anyone and freak out, it might as well be him rather than some poor stranger.

“Sure,” says Haru.

Makoto smiles so warmly that Haru has to look away again.

 

//

 

“Ehhhhhh? Haru-chan, you’re following Mako-chan to Tokyo?”

Nagisa’s eyes are so wide they might fall out, thinks Haru. “No,” is all he says, continuing to eat his mackerel calmly.

“But you just said!”

“I said I’m going to Tokyo.”

“But Mako-chan’s going to Tokyo too!”

“Nagisa. I’m not _following_ Makoto.”

“Oh, I see,” says Rei, pushing up his glasses.

They’re having lunch at their usual place. Haru can’t be at the pool this afternoon because there are the kids’ classes on Wednesdays, and Makoto teaches then, so he’s not here with them now. Haru’s just trying to eat as fast as he can so that he can go home and sit in the tub till Makoto comes to pull him out for dinner.

“I don’t see,” Nagisa whines.

“Haruka-senpai is saying that he’s just going to Tokyo because he wants to, not because Makoto-senpai is there,” Rei explains patiently.

To Haru’s annoyance, this only succeeds in drawing hysterical laughter from Nagisa.

“What’s so funny?” Haru asks, his tone flat.

Nagisa wipes away a tear. “You’re so funny, Haru-chan. It’s the same thing.”

“What’s the same thing?”

“Mako-chan is going to Tokyo, so that makes you want to go to Tokyo.”

Haru glares at Nagisa. “I’m going to Tokyo because I got a good offer from a university there. And I can train with the coaches from the national team. It’s only logical.”

“Ohhhh.” Nagisa tilts his head to one side, thinking. “What about Mako-chan?”

“What about him?” asks Haru.

“Will you see each other a lot? Will you share an apartment?”

“No,” says Haru, shortly.

“What? Why?”

“He’s staying near his university. I’m staying near my training grounds. Tokyo is big.”

“They’ll both be very busy, Nagisa-kun,” Rei chimes in.

“Mmm,” says Haru. “University is hard work.”

Nagisa still has that puzzled look on his face, that look that tells Haru he isn’t quite done with this line of questioning, but he can’t decide which fork in the road to take. Haru braces himself for whatever comes out of Nagisa's mouth next.

Nagisa eventually settles for: “But you’ll still hang out together, right?”

Haru nods. Sure, it won’t be as often as they’re used to now - which is pretty much 24/7, since they literally live down a flight of stairs from each other - but there’s no reason to think they won’t hang out. If Makoto isn’t too busy with his studies, that is.

“Yeah. We will.”

Nagisa’s face clears up. “That’s great, Haru-chan!”

“What’s so great? We already hang out together.”

“You would be lonely without Mako-chan, I think.”

Haru doesn’t know what to say to that, so he gives Nagisa an impassive, blank stare and continues eating his rice.

“Ah, Haru-chan, don’t look at me like that,” says Nagisa, with a warm, knowing grin. “You know I’m right.”

Rei nods. His grin doesn’t quite mirror Nagisa’s, but he’s smiling, too. “I do think it’s good that you and Makoto-senpai will have each other for company in the big city.”

Haru knows it’s pointless to deny any of the above, because it’s absolutely true, but he doesn’t have to admit it either. So he keeps his silence, taking a long sip from his drink.

“Hey, Rei-chan, you know what this means?” says Nagisa brightly. Uh-oh, thinks Haru. It’s that glint. That glint in his eyes.

“Nagisa-kun, whatever you’re going to say next, I just know it’s going to be a horrible idea, so don’t say it.”

Fortunately, Rei knows that look as well as Haru does. Unfortunately, Nagisa has Rei wrapped around his little finger, rather than the other way round, and they _all_ know it.

“This means that when we go to Tokyo to visit - "

Rei sputters something about school term being super busy in their final year, and how Makoto-senpai and Haruka-senpai are surely going to have too much to deal with in Tokyo to entertain visitors, and it's rude to just invite yourself without asking first, but Nagisa plows on recklessly -

“We can see both of them at once! And we can have sleepovers at Haru-chan’s house! Just like old times!”

“Wait, why is it my house?” Haru objects. “Makoto will have his own apartment too.”

“Because Mako-chan can’t cook,” says Nagisa, with a wink.

Haru knows this is true. He has no rebuttal to that. “I’m not cooking anything except mackerel.”

But Nagisa’s mind has already shot right ahead, off the rails, to the next train of thought. Haru can barely keep up. “Hey, Haru-chan, since Mako-chan can’t cook and he’ll be living alone in Tokyo, who’s going to feed him? This is a serious problem!”

“He can learn to cook,” says Haru.

Nagisa bursts into laughter again, and this time Haru very nearly joins in. He doesn’t want to encourage Nagisa, but he can’t stop the tiny smile from leaking out.

Makoto, who is otherwise the perfect mother hen and domestic goddess of everyone’s dreams, has been proven countless times beyond all reasonable doubt to be one hundred percent useless in the kitchen. Makoto can’t boil seaweed soup without burning it, can’t fry an egg without bits of shell getting into the pan, and worst of all, can make even the nicest, freshest mackerel completely inedible.

Haru shrugs. “He can buy and eat onigiri every day. It’s cheap.”

“Eating onigiri every day sounds kind of sad…” says Rei, frowning a little.

Haru doesn’t have any better ideas, so he doesn’t say anything. Nagisa’s right, though. Now that he’s planted that question in Haru’s head, Haru can’t help wondering how exactly Makoto plans to feed himself in Tokyo. It’s not like they’re living that nearby each other, and even if they were, Haru’s pretty sure that juggling university studies and swim training is going to leave him with very little time to cook for himself, let alone Makoto.

“I don’t know. He’ll figure it out,” says Haru. He finishes the last of his mackerel and stands up.

“Haru-chan! Are you going home already?” Nagisa looks up at him and blinks.

“Yeah.”

“Let’s go to the beach!”

Haru shakes his head. “Too hot.”

“Let’s go get popsicles and sit in the air-conditioned mall!”

Haru starts to say no to this, but then he thinks, a popsicle might be nice in this weather, and - yes, he really should spend more time with Nagisa and Rei, while he can. He would never say this out loud, but he knows it’s true.

“Okay,” he says, and Nagisa beams.

It’s not until later, when Haru splits the popsicle in half and turns to hand it to an empty space, that he realises he’s going to have to start eating whole popsicles by himself once they’re in Tokyo.

And he thinks, _well, that’s inconvenient._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been wanting for a while now to do a longer, multi-chaptered MakoHaru fic that will allow me to explore many aspects of their relationship in detail, but I didn't want to start till the series ended, since I wanted it to be as canon as possible. Now that I know what I'm working with (and is it ever awesome or what), here it is. I hope you enjoyed the first part.
> 
> I am planning to update about once a week. I'm not sure how long this will be yet - as long as it needs to be for me to tell the story of MakoHaru in Tokyo that I want to tell.
> 
> Thank you so much for reading! Kudos are super appreciated and comments really make my day ♥
> 
> You can find me on [Tumblr](http://themorninglark.tumblr.com/), where I post a lot of Free! thoughts, analysis and commentary.


	2. where two old friends catch up

Makoto lets almost the whole of summer lapse before he gets round to texting Rin. He knows Rin and Gou went away for a while after nationals, visiting relatives with their mom, and after coming back, Rin’s been pretty busy catching up with his Samezuka teammates. Makoto’s been busy too, hanging out with Haru and the others as much as he can, helping Coach Sasabe at the club, studying not nearly as much as he should, and fretting just a little about exams.

Six weeks seemed so long when it first started, but now, thinks Makoto, it feels like they have so little left of the break. And once their last semester starts, it’ll all be over too soon.

Makoto keeps his message short. _Lunch today? Omurice?_

Rin’s reply comes back almost immediately. _Yeah okay. Perfect. See you there at noon._

Makoto smiles. Nearly five years in Australia, and Rin came back with a taste for weird Western-Japanese fusion food that he’s never quite lost. _Noon’s good. See you!_

He starts to pocket his phone, then takes it out again and types another message. _Morning Haru! I’m having lunch with Rin today. I’ll see you at the pool later._

When there’s no answer from Haru after ten minutes, Makoto knows he’s in the bath. He probably hasn’t had breakfast yet. He should really go pull him out. But it’s hot, and there aren’t many days of summer in Iwatobi left, so he’ll be indulgent and let Haru have this one.

Haru doesn’t respond till nearly eleven. _where are you going?_

_The omurice place._

Makoto predicts with 99% certainty what Haru’s next words will be, and sure enough, the text that comes back makes him smile. _there’s no mackerel there. pass._

 

_//_

 

Rin’s already waiting outside when Makoto gets there at noon, leaning against a wall with his hands in his pockets. He looks over Makoto’s shoulder as he approaches, then looks back at Makoto, surprised. “Where’s Haru?”

“In the pool?” Makoto ventures a guess.

“Huh,” says Rin.

“Why?” Makoto asks, as they head into the restaurant and sit down. He picks up a menu. Rin doesn’t need to look at it. He always gets the same thing.

Rin shrugs. “Dunno. I kind of assumed when you said _lunch today_ , you meant, with both of you.”

“Ah, I’m sorry,” says Makoto, a bit flustered. “Should I call and ask him to come?”

“No, no, it’s fine. He probably doesn’t want to eat at a place like this with no mackerel, anyway.”

Makoto laughs. “You know Haru.”

Rin rolls his eyes. “Do I ever. You know, when we were in Australia, I had a hell of a time finding food for that freak. I don’t know how it is that he hasn’t turned into a mackerel yet.”

“Actually,” says Makoto, a little sheepish, “I knew Haru wouldn’t want to come. That’s why I asked you to lunch here.”

“Huh? What? You want to talk to me _without_ Haru around?” Rin frowns suspiciously. “Is he having another crisis?”

“Ah, no, Haru’s fine. Sorry, I meant, about Australia - with one thing and another happening, we never…”

The waitress comes, then, to take their orders. Makoto pauses to collect his thoughts. Rin gets curry, extra spicy, like he always does, and Makoto gets the plain tomato sauce, because he has no imagination and his mind is on something else.

He continues as the waitress leaves. “You landed, and then we had to go straight to nationals, then you went away and we came back here and all, and I never really got to thank you.”

Rin stares at him. “Thank me for what?”

Makoto smiles warmly. “For your help with Haru. Thank you, Rin. If it wasn’t for you - ”

“Don’t mention it. Haru’s my friend too, you know,” Rin waves his hand in the air dismissively. “I was surprised to get your message. That time. You _never_ text me, Makoto.”

“I texted you today!” says Makoto, indignant.

“Yeah, okay, okay. Maybe once you do it a third time I’ll stop being surprised by it.”

“So what happened in Australia, anyway? How was Haru?” Makoto’s curious. He’s asked Haru about it, of course, but he wants to hear it from Rin.

Rin wrinkles his nose with enormous distaste. “Did you know we had to share a bed at our hotel?”

Makoto laughs. “Yes, he told me about that.”

“It was gross. Other than that? It was pretty cool showing him the Sydney Aquatic Centre.” Rin grins. His eyes brighten, and Makoto can tell it’s a special place for Rin, too. “I think he liked it. That’s an Olympic pool, man. There’s something about how it feels, I dunno, I can’t explain it. And we got to swim with the national team. It was awesome. Haru seemed much better after that.”

Rin’s gaze has drifted off somewhere, miles away, during this conversation, and the grin’s faded into a small, content smile that Makoto knows is just about the closest expression Rin has to _relaxed_. It’s strangely heartwarming, thinks Makoto with a little smile of his own, to see Rin like this, remembering how he was just over a year ago.

Then the waitress brings their omurice, and Rin snaps back to the present. He looks straight at Makoto with an unnervingly direct stare. “Your turn. How did _your_ talk with Haru go?”

Makoto, pouring water for himself, freezes for a moment and nearly overfills his cup. “Haru didn’t tell you? When you were in Australia?”

Rin shakes his head. “He was moody as hell, man. I was like, did you and Makoto have a fight or something? And he just clammed up. So I take it you did have a fight.”

Makoto sighs, slowly. “Yeah. It was - ”

“ - your first fight,” Rin finishes.

Makoto’s eyes widen in surprise.

Rin’s grinning again, but his gaze softens. “That’s what Haru said too. Seriously, you two. Your first fight after, what, two hundred years together?”

Makoto laughs. “With Haru, it feels like a thousand years.”

“I know, right?” Rin huffs out a small, exasperated breath. “Spending time with that boy takes years off _my_ life. And you spend _so_ much more time with him than I do. Of course you had a fight. The real crazy thing here is that you never had one before.”

Makoto tries to imagine what he and Haru could have had a fight about, before this, and fails.

“Oi. Makoto.” Rin prompts, poking him in the arm. “Spill the beans. What did you fight about?”

Makoto doesn’t know quite how to sum it up, those few minutes under the fireworks, so he stalls Rin by stuffing a spoonful of rice in his mouth and chewing really, really slowly.

There’s a brief silence as they both eat their lunch, the dim chatter of the other patrons in the background, and the sound of the fan whirring overhead.

“Umm,” Makoto mumbles.

“Let me guess,” says Rin, with a world-weary sigh. “You told him to get his shit together and figure his life out. Then you told him you were moving like five billion miles away from him.”

Makoto nearly chokes on his food. He picks up his cup and takes a deep gulp of water. “Well,” he says, eventually, “not exactly in those words.”

“Dumbass. Even if you didn’t say it in those words, that’s what Haru would’ve heard.”

Makoto sighs. Rin’s probably right. He doesn’t regret saying what he’d said about wanting Haru to find a dream, but he’d spent a lot of time, after their fight, wondering if he could’ve said it better, could’ve broken the news about Tokyo better, been less preoccupied with finding the right words, the right moment.

He knows now, he remembers that with Haru, there _is_ no one right moment. Every moment is the right one, because it’s Haru, and Makoto can always count on him understanding what he’s trying to say, even if his words are clumsy and crude and trip over each other.

But both their hearts and minds had been clouded, then, and there’s no point looking back with 20/20 hindsight. They have to look forward.

“So he was moody, huh,” says Makoto.

“He didn’t want to swim.” Rin stares flatly at Makoto. “You know how weird that is? It was like, some aliens abducted Haru and left this empty shell, I swear. I brought him all the way to freaking Bondi Beach and he just sat on the sand watching me stick toes in the water. Bondi Beach, Makoto!”

“It’s winter down there, Rin!” Makoto faintly wails. “What were you thinking, trying to encourage him to swim in the sea?”

“Trying to cheer him up, stupid,” Rin mutters.

“He would have been sick. And then you would have had to take care of him… on top of sharing a bed,” Makoto teases.

Rin shudders. “Oh my god, Makoto. Let’s never mention that again. It makes my hair stand on end.”

Makoto laughs, warmly. It’s funny, the way he and Rin are so different and yet manage to be close, and to be close to Haru. Makoto doesn’t think either he or Haru would bat an eyelid at having to share a bed with each other. It’s really no different from sharing popsicles.

“Anyway, it didn’t work, because the idiot didn’t want to swim. I mean, can you believe that? Then I told him don’t sweat it, because Sousuke and I fight all the time, but that didn’t seem to help either.”

“Er,” says Makoto. “I guess he felt like it wasn’t quite the right comparison…”

“What do you mean? You guys are exactly like me and Sousuke.”

“No, we don’t fight all the time! It was our first fight!” Makoto points out, protesting.

“Yeah, then you kissed and made up and it’s all good now, right? Exactly the same as when Sousuke and I fight. Haru should’ve listened to me.”

Makoto can’t quite figure out how to respond to this, so he just smiles uncertainly.

“What happened then?” Rin scrunches up his face in thought as he spoons his curry into his mouth. “Oh, yeah, I remember now. I thought, okay, shit, if he doesn’t cheer up soon he’s just going to go and drown himself in the ocean, and there’s like no lifeguard in sight and I’m sure as hell not diving into that freaking ice water to save him - ”

“Rin!” Makoto yelps. “You did _not_ think that!”

“Well, I thought something very much along those lines, I can promise you. So then I figured, I’d better start talking about Makoto, since Haru can’t stop thinking about him, that dumbass.”

Makoto blinks in surprise. “Er, what?”

Rin’s on a roll. He looks really pleased with himself now. “I told Haru something like, _oh yeah, that Makoto, he finally decided what he wanted to do, right? He said he wanted to tell you as soon as possible._ ”

Makoto doesn’t even realise he’s holding his breath until he feels himself going lightheaded. He inhales, a bit more sharply than intended. “You said that?”

“Yeah. Worked a treat. It was so damn obvious, you know, that while he was still thinking about your fight, his head would be so far up his ass - ”

“ _Rin!_ ”

“ - that it would be useless for me to try and make him do anything else, so I should say something to like, I dunno, make him less pissed at everything. Less pissed at you. Less pissed at himself. After _that_ he got a little bit more normal.”

Rin pauses, and laughs. “As normal as that freak can get, anyway. You should’ve heard him try to speak English to my host parents. Damn hilarious.”

Makoto is dumbstruck. He’s not sure what he’d been expecting, when he asked Rin what happened in Australia, but it certainly wasn’t this.

“Makoto. Don’t give me that weird look.” Rin narrows his eyes sharply at Makoto.

“Thanks, Rin,” Makoto finally manages to sputter. “I owe you one.”

Rin breaks into a wide, genuine grin. “Lunch is on you, right?”

 

//

 

Makoto asks Rin, after lunch, if he wants to come by the club with him and say hi to Haru, since they haven’t had the chance to meet since nationals. But Rin shakes his head.

“I gotta go meet Mikoshiba. He’s in town.”

“Oh!” Makoto remembers the orange-haired Samezuka captain, Rin’s predecessor. “Say hi to him for me. And Haru.”

Rin tips him a small salute. “Will do. Seeya. Thanks for lunch.”

He turns to leave. Makoto starts to turn, too, then stops. “Hey, Rin,” he calls out.

Rin glances over his shoulder at him. “Yeah?”

“Did Haru tell you?”

He’s been wondering, all through lunch, whether or not to bring this up to Rin. If Haru hasn’t told him yet, it’ll be awkward, and Makoto doesn’t want to be the one to break Haru’s news to Rin, but at the same time, Rin deserves to know. Haru owes Rin this much.

“Oh, about him going to Tokyo?” Rin asks.

Makoto nods, with some relief.

“Yeah, he called me. I nearly fell out of my chair. I think Haru calls me even less than you text me.”

“I’m glad,” says Makoto, and he means it. “I mean, that he told you. You should’ve been the first one to know.”

“Nah.” Rin shakes his head. “He would tell you first. It’s good news for you both, eh?”

Makoto smiles. “Yeah. I’m glad one of us will be there to save him from turning into a mackerel.”

Rin snorts. “Good luck with that.”

Makoto lifts his hand in farewell. “See you again before school starts?”

“You bet. Bring the rest next time. We can have a race,” says Rin. He flashes Makoto a grin, then turns and walks away.

 _Such a Rin thing to say,_ thinks Makoto, smiling.

He stands under the shade of the shop awning for a while, watching Rin’s retreating figure down the street, before turning his footsteps towards Iwatobi SC Returns, and Haru.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... I really like writing Rin, and I really like exploring different sets of friendships among the main five, _and_ I really wanted to write this sort of "missing scene" where Makoto finds out what happened in Sydney. Add it all together, and working on this chapter was like unwrapping a candy cane on Christmas Day for me. I can only hope I did it some justice.
> 
> Thank you so much for reading! Kudos are super appreciated and comments really make my day ♥
> 
> You can find me on [Tumblr](http://themorninglark.tumblr.com/), where I post a lot of Free! thoughts, analysis and commentary.


	3. time passes

Everything moves so fast once the summer ends.

A frenzy of studying. Not nearly enough swimming. The weather turns chilly, then cold, then freezing. Makoto spends so much time after school at Haru’s house, where there’s no Ran or Ren to disturb him, that Haru starts regularly making mackerel dinner for two every day. Even Makoto’s mom, who’s usually insistent on the Tachibana family eating dinner together every day, lets it slide. They bury themselves in textbooks. Makoto helps Haru with literature, but they’re both terrible with English and not so great at math, so they have Rin and Rei on speed dial.

Makoto does make a point of eating at home on the weekends. His mom insists on feeding Haru too, to make up for Haru feeding her son during the week, so he goes over as well, and they inevitably end up playing video games with the twins before falling asleep from sheer exhaustion.

Haru swims as much as he can, in whatever pockets of time he has. He figures he has a good reason, since he’s supposed to be doing this for a living, after all. The swim coach at the university he’s going to has already sent him a recommended training schedule and long list of things he can and can’t eat. Mackerel does not appear on either side of the list, so Haru stubbornly doesn’t change his diet, for now.

Somewhere along the way, birthdays are celebrated, more quietly than Nagisa would have liked: Makoto’s in November, Rei’s in December. They do actually manage to surprise Makoto in the club room after school, with party poppers and Iwatobi-chan balloons and all.

 _It’s Mako-chan’s last birthday with us!!_ Nagisa had said in his mass text to everyone. _We have to make it special! BIRTHDAY SQUAD ASSEMBLE!!!_

So Haru had baked the cake, a chocolate one topped with strawberries. Makoto loves chocolate. Haru loves baking. He’d had to stay up late to do it after Makoto left his house that night, after their usual post-school study sprint, but it had been worth it to see the happy surprise on Makoto’s face the next day.

(Then, of course, he'd had to endure a scolding from Makoto for going to all that effort and not getting enough sleep.

"You could've just bought a cake!" Makoto had said, firmly.

Haru hadn't thought such a stupid comment was even worth a reply, so he'd just stared at him and said nothing, until Makoto broke down into a helpless laugh and a "What am I ever going to do with you, Haru-chan?")

New Year. More studying. Exams. Neither of them actually need to ace them, since Haru’s already secured a place, and Makoto’s managed to get a semi-confirmed offer from the private university of his choice, through Amakata-sensei’s help and the school’s recommendation. But they can’t go flunking exams either, so they do their best, and their best turns out to be just fine.

Any free time they thought they would have after exams are over suddenly disappears in the rush of preparing to leave. It had never occurred to Haru that going to university would be quite so troublesome. There’s so much paperwork, and he has to get new textbooks, and then there’s the packing. Packing eighteen years of his life in one place into cardboard box after box.

Haru’s always been neat and his house is pretty minimal, so it’s not that difficult for him (Makoto, on the other hand, has _mountains_ of knickknacks and too many clothes that Haru spends way too long helping him weed out), but since there won’t be anyone at home to take care of things while he’s gone, he takes no chances and packs absolutely everything so his stuff won’t get dusty.

Every single one of his swimsuits, swimming caps and goggles go straight into his suitcase. He’s not taking chances with the movers and putting any of them into boxes.

Haru’s university has already arranged his subsidised housing for him. All the elite swimmers stay in apartments within a mile or two from their training compound. But Makoto needs to find a place, so they spend a lot of time poring over brochures with options, from university accommodation to private housing, and Haru is so glad that he doesn’t have to deal with questions of room dimensions, apartment locations, bicycle parking, the nearest train station and whether his bathroom has a tub or just a shower.

Moving is tough. Leaving is tough. Tougher than Haru had imagined it would be. He is thankful beyond words that he has Makoto to go through it with him, and he knows Makoto feels the same way, though neither of them say it. They don’t need to.

 

//

 

Rin invites Haru for a swim in the Samezuka pool before the school year ends. “It’s not like they’re going to ban me from the pool or some shit like that once I graduate,” says Rin, “but I reckon this is one of the last chances I’ll have to get the whole damn thing to myself for a few hours, and they can’t say no to me, because I’m still captain, and I’m leaving the country and all, and Ai’s probably gonna cry on my last day.”

Haru asks Makoto if he wants to join them, but Makoto smiles and shakes his head. “You should spend some time with Rin properly!” he says, his tone admonishing. “You’ve hardly seen each other lately.”

So Haru finds himself alone in the Samezuka pool with Rin, one day after school, and as they stand on the starting blocks, a memory flashes through his mind.

He casts a sideways glance to his right. “Rin.”

“Yeah?”

“Do you remember that time - ”

Rin turns to him with a small grin. “Start of second year, right? You guys hadn’t even properly formed your club yet, and you crashed our pool. Then we raced and I beat your out-of-shape ass.”

“It was our first race,” says Haru. “After five years.”

“Yeah. You felt something then, didn’t you?” says Rin.

Haru doesn’t answer, only moves into his crouching start and dives into the pool, in one smooth, fluid motion. He doesn’t need to answer. Rin knows.

The water swirls and coils around him comfortingly, enveloping his lithe body like a warm embrace. He’s swum in the Samezuka pool a fair number of times now, and he knows its feel, the level of chlorine, the taste of the water, the way the slight heat in the pool reaches into his muscles as he moves through the strokes. Kick, pull, breathe.

It’s so peaceful, and Haru feels like he could stay like this forever. Suspended in the water, calm, isolated, quiet.

Then he feels movement from behind, and he knows Rin’s caught up. Haru’s lips curve up into a small smile underwater. He puts on speed. It’s on, now.

Haru would recognise Rin’s stroke anywhere. Even after years of separation, when they’d first raced against each other in this very pool, when he’d felt that fierce, familiar _push_ and that heated force rolling, rippling towards him like waves crashing in a tidepool, something inside him had caught on fire.

He’s sure that whenever they next meet in competition again, on the international stage, he’ll recognise that stroke still.

Rin’s pulled even with him now. Haru’s gaze doesn’t waver. He looks straight at the wall in front of him, turns, kicks off into the home lap, but Rin’s turn is stronger and he pulls ahead just a fingertip’s width. That’s always been Rin’s strength - the power in his turns and kicks.

But Haru is _made_ to move in the water, and as he loses himself in his stroke, he closes the gap, gliding ahead without thinking. Kick, pull, breathe.

Haru’s fingers touch the wall less than a second before Rin’s, and his head whips up. He’s breathing hard.

Next to him, Rin’s shaking his head. “That’s not fair, Haru,” he gasps out, between breaths. “You got a headstart on the dive.”

“You asked me here to swim, not to race,” Haru retorts.

“You’re full of shit. If you didn’t want to race, why bother swimming so hard, eh?”

Haru glowers at Rin, who’s grinning knowingly at him, and ducks back underwater, moving at a more leisurely pace this time.

 

//

 

Rin hands Haru a bottle of water. “Drink,” he orders.

They’re sitting on the bench by the poolside now. Haru obediently opens the bottle and takes a gulp.

“You’re going to have to pay attention to things like that once you go pro, you know,” says Rin. “Conditioning. Hydration. Taking care of your diet. Stop eating so much damn mackerel. Taper.”

Haru frowns. He dislikes the idea of tapering. It seems completely unintuitive to him that swimming _less_ before a competition will make him swim better during said competition.

“What’s wrong with mackerel?” is his response.

“It’s not a vegetable,” Rin says. He opens his own bottle of water and drinks deeply.

Their silence is companionable enough, for Haru, though in a different way from his and Makoto’s. In some ways, he and Rin had to learn to be friends all over again after Australia. There are two Rins in his mind, now. Before Australia. After Australia.

“Will you come back?” asks Haru.

Rin turns to him. “Come back? To Iwatobi?”

Haru nods. “To Iwatobi. To Japan.”

 _Will you stay in Australia for good, this time? Will we never spend time like this again?_ is the unspoken question, but Haru doesn’t know how to say it, and Makoto isn’t here to say it for him.

Rin leans back on the wall behind them. “I don’t know,” he says. “It’s hard to say right now. So much can happen in a few years. So much can change, you know.”

“Mmmm,” is all Haru says.

“Japan will always be home. But Australia has a lot of good memories for me, too.” Rin smiles. He doesn’t need to elaborate. Haru’s seen, firsthand, what he’s talking about. You don’t spend five years in a place without it leaving its mark on you, the way Sydney clearly has on Rin.

“Yeah,” says Haru.

Rin’s gaze drifts sideways towards Haru. “But wherever we are, you’d better keep showing up at competitions. I’ll never forgive you if I go to a tournament and you’re not there.”

“Same to you. I’ll never forgive you either.”

“Oh, don’t worry. I’ll be there. Gotta keep beating your ass, you know?”

Rin punches him lightly on the arm. Haru smiles.

“So, Tokyo, huh,” says Rin.

Haru nods.

“That’s pretty far from Iwatobi.”

Haru shrugs. “Can’t be helped.” He had looked at universities nearer home, but Tokyo had just seemed like the best option, with the best facilities, the best pools, and the national team training there as well.

“At least you’ll have Makoto there.”

“Yeah.” Though he'd told Nagisa it's not that he's following Makoto, and that much is true, a place with Makoto is definitely better than a place without him.

“I’m glad, you know,” says Rin, grinning. “Otherwise, you’d have no friends. And you’d probably drown alone in your bathtub one morning.”

“I can make friends on my own,” Haru retorts.

“Uh huh. And the moon is made of green cheese, right?”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about, Rin.”

“Ah, Western saying. Never mind.”

Haru thinks the idea of making new friends is somewhat overrated, anyway. The ones he already has are enough of a handful for him to deal with. Nagisa’s made him promise to Skype them every other weekend at least, with Makoto.

“What about you? Will you come back?” Rin’s voice breaks the silence.

“To Iwatobi?”

“Yeah.”

Haru nods, instinctively, immediately. He never even thought twice about it. Of course he’ll come back. Iwatobi is home.

“Yeah, I guess you would,” says Rin. “You’re not the sort who wants to spend the rest of his life staying in the big wide world once you’ve had the chance to see it, huh?”

Haru had never even thought of it like that, but he can’t argue with Rin’s words. He continues to gaze impassively into space, thinking about nothing in particular. Hazy thoughts float through his mind unbidden, images of Tokyo, of competitions round the world, of winters under the kotatsu with Makoto, of summers standing next to Rin at the starting blocks, waiting for the whistle, and of coming back to Iwatobi when it’s all over.

Back to that flight of stone steps and that house overlooking the ocean, or perhaps to a new place? As Rin said, so much could change in the next few years when they’re at university, let alone the many years after that of competitive swimming.

The thoughts swirl round, lightly, dissipating, melting like mist into the spring sky. It’s too far off for him to dwell on, now. All he can do is take one step, then another, then another.

He hears a beep from his bag, and reaches inside, pulling out his phone. One new message.  _Hey Haru! Come over for dinner? The twins just got a new video game they want us to play with them, and mom’s making grilled mackerel for you._

Haru smiles. This is his _now_ , his present. The future can wait.

_okay. see you later._

He tosses the phone back into his bag and turns to Rin. “One more race?”

Rin’s answering grin is keen and ready as he flings his towel back down on the bench, and stands up, stretching his arms overhead. “I won’t lose this time.”

“Neither will I,” says Haru.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't really intend for this fic to be so many chapters, but seeing as I'm already on the third one and they're STILL in Iwatobi (really, I meant to get them to Tokyo by this time, but they just wanted to hang around...), I think it might be longer than I had imagined.
> 
> This chapter is for Yu ([andthensomelion on Tumblr](http://andthensomelion.tumblr.com/)), who very patiently answered my bucketload of questions about Japanese university admissions. Thank you!! 
> 
> Thank you so much for reading! Kudos are super appreciated and comments really make my day ♥
> 
> You can find me on [Tumblr](http://themorninglark.tumblr.com/), where I post a lot of Free! thoughts, analysis and commentary.


	4. fear of flying

When Makoto and Haru had first flown off to Tokyo, it hadn’t been so bad, because they’d known that they would be coming back very soon.

Rin’s university term doesn't start till July, but he’d made plans with his coach in Australia to head over as soon as he could to start his training proper, so he’d booked his flight out for one week after Makoto and Haru’s. Just enough time for him to wrap up his life in Japan, spend some time with Gou and his mom, say his goodbyes to Sousuke, Ai and Momo.

“We’re coming back, then,” Makoto had said to Rin. “We need to see you off.”

Rin had clearly not been impressed by this. “Don’t be dumb, Makoto. You’re gonna go to all that expense to fly to Tokyo for a week, then come back for a weekend just to see me? It’s not like we’ll never meet again.”

But this was non-negotiable, for both he and Haru, Makoto knew. “Nope, sorry, we’re coming back. Right, Haru?”

And Haru, saying nothing, had merely nodded, the tiniest smile on the corners of his lips.

So the first time they’d left, it had felt a little like flying off just for a one-week holiday in the big city, albeit an extraordinarily busy one spent in a flurry of moving in, settling enrolment, figuring out their new neighbourhoods, meeting classmates and lecturers. But now - the second time -

They’ve booked one-way tickets, this time, and Makoto doesn’t know when they’ll be back again, which is why he finds himself now standing in the airport with his arms around Nagisa, who’s clutching on to the front of his shirt and sobbing loudly.

Makoto looks over at Haru, who gives him a small, helpless shrug. _Sorry, Makoto, you’re the one with the younger siblings. You deal with this._

It’s not like Ran and Ren are making this any easier. They’re both here to see him and Haru off, despite the excruciating two-hour drive from their home to the airport. They’d slept most of the way in the car, sandwiched in between him and Haru, resting their heads in their laps.

Ren’s starting to tear up now, hanging on to their mother’s hand, while Ran is biting her lip and swallowing. Makoto can see them holding back, and guesses that they don’t want to launch into full-blown crying fits in front of Onii-chan’s older friends and _especially_ not Haru-chan.

“Mako-chan! I’ll miss you so much!” Nagisa wails.

Makoto rests his hand on Nagisa’s head, ruffling his hair lightly with affection. They’ve already seen this once, when Nagisa lost it at Rin’s departure. Makoto had braced himself for it being twice as bad (for twice the number of friends leaving) when it came to his and Haru’s turn, but nothing he had imagined had really prepared him for this moment of farewell.

“Hey, Nagisa, don’t cry,” he says, trying to keep his voice light. “We’ll be back for sure.”

“As often as we can be,” adds Haru.

Nagisa looks up at Haru, blinking tears out of his eyes. He smiles, in spite of himself, prises his small frame off Makoto and launches into a flying tackle at Haru.

Haru staggers backwards, slightly, before his face softens into a smile as well and he returns Nagisa’s embrace.

Rei gives them both a hug too, surprisingly non-awkward, considering it’s Rei. He’s really loosened up, Makoto thinks, from the uptight, standoffish guy they’d seen at track and field practice a few years back. He’ll make a great captain. Makoto has no doubt.

“Remember your promise, Makoto-senpai, Haruka-senpai!” says Rei, in an expectant tone, as he steps back from Makoto.

“Yes, yes, Skype - ”

“ - at least once a fortnight.” Haru’s voice joins his in chorus, a deadpan imitation of Nagisa’s numerous exhortations over the past two days, and the past two months before that.

“Or Nagisa-kun will fly to Tokyo to kill you,” Rei adds, but he’s smiling.

Nagisa grins. His eyes still glisten, but he’s collected himself a little more, now. “I made Rin-chan promise, too! We’ll _definitely_ keep in touch!”

And coming from Nagisa, it sounds like more than a hopeful wish. It sounds like a foretelling, a vision of the future, a drop in the water sending ripples out beyond the years.

 

//

 

As Makoto assures his mom for the hundredth time that, yes, he _will_ finally learn to cook, they wave their hurried goodbyes through the glass and head towards their gate.

They’ve left it really late to go in, drawing out their last moments here, with everyone, for as long as possible. Now that it’s just him and Haru, walking quickly towards the plane that’ll take them over four hundred miles away from home, it’s finally starting to sink in.

They’re leaving. They’re really leaving.

Their apartments in Tokyo are still unpacked. Makoto tells himself that it’s because they’ve both been so busy they haven’t had time, which isn’t untrue, but it isn’t the _whole_ truth either. The whole truth - for Makoto, at least, and he thinks for Haru too - is that unpacking would mean letting go of Iwatobi. It would mean having to acknowledge that Tokyo is home, now.

 _Tokyo. Home._ It’s going to take some getting used to.

Nagisa’s parting words float up to the surface of Makoto’s mind. He can’t help thinking that it’ll feel a bit strange, honestly, having to carve out a special time for calls every few weeks, having to catch up with Nagisa, Rei and even Rin in precious stolen hours across miles and oceans, because their friendship up till now hasn't been like that. Their friendship’s rooted in the daily routine of swimming together, eating lunches on the rooftop of school, enduring Gou’s latest diet plans and Coach Sasabe’s insane training regimes, going to festivals and watching fireworks over the sea. Without all of that, with all that’s left to them - screentime, texts and spoken words - it’ll be… well, strange. He can’t find another word for it.

But he reminds himself once again that _strange_ doesn’t mean bad. Just different. And he has to get used to different. He made that choice, when he decided on Tokyo.

“Makoto.”

Haru’s quiet voice breaks into his reverie. Makoto glances over to see his best friend looking up at him with concern.

 _Are you okay?_ is the unspoken question.

He smiles. “I’m making you worry, huh?”

Haru doesn’t say anything, just keeps looking at him. Makoto thinks he will never get over how expressive that blue-eyed gaze is.

“I’m okay,” says Makoto.

But it’s useless to try and hide anything from Haru, and they both know it, so he continues after a short pause. “I’m just - ” he starts to add, then stops. How does he say it? “Just thinking about keeping in touch with everyone… I guess. Something like that.”

It sounds so clumsy when the words come out of his mouth. But Haru gives the smallest of nods, and Makoto knows he understands.

“When we were in Australia,” says Haru, “Rin told me that when he got lonely, he would go to the beach and look at the ocean, and it was comforting for him to think that his friends were all on the other side of the shore looking at the same ocean.”

Makoto can’t help but smile at that, a smile that eventually lets loose into a small chuckle. “Rin said such a sentimental thing?”

“Mmm. He did.” Haru’s smiling too. He’s smiling a lot more, these days, and that smile, and Rin’s words, reach into Makoto and warm him from the inside.

“I’m being so silly, right?” says Makoto. “It’s not even like I’m leaving the country. And I have you with me.”

“You’re not being silly.”

Haru says this in the same way he always does, when they talk about Makoto’s fears. When he says _wait here, I’ll go explore first_ , every time they’re in a dark place. When he’d said to Makoto, back then, _so_ _you’re still afraid of the ocean_. Calm. Matter-of-fact. No judgement. Just them. Just Haru being there for Makoto, in spite of his nonsensical worries.

It’s like a gentle breeze, quiet and peaceful, ghosting on the surface of the roiling ocean tides.

“Thanks, Haru,” says Makoto. He feels his shoulders relax, letting go of tension he hadn’t even realised he was holding in.

“Let’s walk a little faster. They’re sounding the last call,” is all Haru says.

 

//

 

Makoto thinks he will never, ever, _ever_ get used to flying.

“Let’s take the train next time,” he says, pleading. They’re nearing Haneda Airport now, and the plane drops in altitude as it makes a sharp turn. Makoto’s heart jumps, and his grip on Haru’s sleeve tightens.

“No,” says Haru, flatly. He’s reading a book, keeping his eyes on the page.

“Haru! You’re so unsympathetic!”

“No,” Haru repeats. “The train ride is more than six hours, Makoto.”

And the flight’s only an hour and a half. When they’ve only got weekends to spend in Iwatobi, every hour matters. Not to mention Haru would be bored out of his mind for six hours on a vehicle with no pool in sight.

Makoto knows quite well when he’s been defeated. They’ve had this conversation before. It still doesn’t make him like flying any better, and he buries his head in Haru’s shoulder as the plane begins its descent.

Haru smells like he always does, of chlorine and mildly-scented body soap, and it calms Makoto down somewhat.

The plane gives a small lurch. Makoto feels like the bottom of his stomach will fall out, but just then, there’s a gentle pressure near his elbow. Surprised, he peeks out from his hiding place in the crook of Haru’s shoulder.

Haru’s still reading his book, but he’s got it propped open against the seat in front of him, flipping the pages with one hand so his other can rest on Makoto’s arm. His gaze hasn’t moved at all. It’s still fixed firmly in front, on the words on the page, but Makoto knows that Haru knows he’s looking, and his hand remains steady where it is.

This is the part Makoto hates the most. The landing. He doesn’t dare look out the window, at the ground growing slowly, slowly closer, at the plane dropping down. Images of crashing into the sea and sinking, or crashing onto land and catching on fire, always run through his head. So Haru always takes the window seat, to shield Makoto from the view, and Haru always pulls down the window shades until the very last minute when the flight attendant comes and apologetically requests they be raised.

Haru always gives said flight attendant a dirty look then, as if they’re asking him to do something wrong, though Makoto knows perfectly well they’re just doing their job and yes, the window shades _should_ be raised, and he’s being a child about all this.

Haru’s hand on his arm is reassuring and comforting. Like a blanket, it makes him feel safe.

Makoto squeezes his eyes shut again, but he’s feeling infinitely better.

The plane’s engines sound like a thunderclap in his ears as it touches down bumpily, speeding along the runway, shuddering and shaking. The pressure of Haru’s hand increases. Makoto doesn’t have to look up at him to know what he’s trying to say. _It’s okay. I’ve got you._

He takes a deep breath, inhaling Haru's scent again.

“Welcome to Tokyo Haneda Airport. It is now 12.45pm, and the weather is a lovely 18 degrees Celsius…”

The head steward’s voice sounds out through the small plane cabin as the plane slows to a leisurely taxi down towards their arrival gate.

Makoto lets go of Haru. His palms have been sweating, and Haru’s shirt is a little damp where he’s been gripping it. “Sorry, Haru,” he says, sheepishly.

Haru closes his book and looks at Makoto. Again, that unspoken question.

“I’m okay,” says Makoto, in reply, and smiles. “Thanks to you.”

“I didn’t really do anything,” Haru murmurs as he leans down, ostensibly to tuck the book back into his backpack, but most likely, Makoto knows, to hide the small flush of embarrassment on his cheeks.

Makoto can see out the window now that Haru’s bent down. They’ve been to Haneda Airport a few times, now, and it’s becoming an increasingly familiar sight. He’s coming to get to know the grey-glass look of the building, the route through departures and arrivals, that coffee shop near the check-in counters that Haru likes.

Familiarity. _Is this what it means to find home away from home?_ Makoto wonders.

Haru sits up again, zipping his backpack shut and pulling it over his shoulder. The plane’s come to a halt, now. “Let’s go,” he says.

Coming from Haru, it sounds so ordinary. Like he’s just walking down from his house, saying _let’s go_ to Makoto, who’s waiting for him at the bottom of the steps.

Makoto smiles, and nods. “Yeah. Let’s go.”

Perhaps, he thinks, home isn’t a place after all. It’s a feeling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't intend to always update so frequently, but I really wanted to write this chapter, because I needed to get in some proper Makoto x Haru time after the previous two chapters, and I needed to get them to Tokyo!
> 
> I highly recommend anyone confused about the timeline to [read this post](http://tinnictheguardian.tumblr.com/post/98336474575/free-ending-what-happened).
> 
> Thank you so much for reading! Kudos are super appreciated and comments really make my day ♥
> 
> You can find me on [Tumblr](http://themorninglark.tumblr.com/), where I post a lot of Free! thoughts, analysis and commentary.


	5. too little, too much, and just enough socialising

College is the spring break of life.

That’s what everyone says, anyway, but whoever had first come up with that saying clearly hadn’t been a pro athlete. Haru has never felt so busy in his life, and so tired. Coach Sasabe’s training is nothing compared to Coach Takahashi’s. Haru hopes fervently that the two will never meet, compare notes, and come up with the world’s ultimate killer regime.

They’ve just spent a longer time than Haru ever thought possible working on his turns and his push-offs from the wall. It makes him think of Rin when they do this. Rin, with all the explosive power of a firecracker, kicking off and shooting through the home leg like an arrow, straight and true.

Rin’s strength in his kicks is better than Haru’s. It’d been the reason, all those years ago, why Haru started running. In the end, his solitary morning runs had ended up becoming something all four of them shared, much to the annoyance of his younger self.

He thinks back to all the times he told Nagisa he’d leave him behind if he kept talking, and smiles, a little, at the memories. _Rin would probably say I was a little shit even back then. And Makoto would just laugh and say “that’s so you, Haru”._

Now, he runs with his team, and there are a lot more people than just four of them, and the scenery round the track isn’t quite as nice as the view from Mutsukibashi.

“Yo, Nanase, you’re spacing out again.”

Haru tilts his head just enough to see one of his teammates take a seat on the bench next to him. He thinks fast, trying to remember his name.

The other guy takes a swig of water. “Ah, Takahashi’s really pushing us today, huh?”

Haru nods. “Yeah,” he says.

Ikeda. That’s his name. He’s a breaststroke specialist, also in his first year, and he has dyed brown hair, just a shade lighter than Makoto’s. He talks to just about everyone on the team. Haru doesn’t really talk to anyone.

“I saw you working on your turns,” says Ikeda. “Man, those are tough. It just goes so fast you don’t _normally_ think about how you do it, you know?”

“Mmm,” murmurs Haru. His mind isn’t really on this conversation. It’s still somewhere in Iwatobi.

But Iwatobi makes him think of Makoto, inevitably, and that makes him think of what he’d said last night over the phone.

_”Hey Haru, how are your teammates?”_  
 _“They’re okay.”_  
 _“…that means you don’t even know their names, do you?”_  
 _“We’ve just met.”_  
 _“Haru, it’s the third week of university already! That’s nearly a month!”_  
 _”So?”_  
 _”Haru!”_  
 _“I know a few names.”_  
 _“Promise me you’ll at least make an effort.”_  
 _“…I have to go. My dinner will burn.”_  
 _“All right. Try to make friends, okay, or I’ll worry about you!”_

And that, as they say, had been the end of that.

Haru knows full well, better than anyone else, better than Makoto himself, that Makoto’s sweet, gentle disposition is nothing but an enormous front for how unfairly _good_ and downright _manipulative_ his best friend can be when it comes to getting people to do what he wants, and the worst part is, Makoto doesn’t even know he’s doing it. Well, sometimes he does, like when he dangles water in front of Haru like a carrot. But other times, he just _really_ is that worried because that’s how Makoto is.

And Makoto’s “I’ll worry about you” card is Haru’s kryptonite. It gets him, every time. Every. Single. Time.

 _Makoto, you idiot,_ he thinks, as he tries desperately to engage Ikeda somehow. At least he’s one of those whose names he remembers. That’s a start.

“What about you?” says Haru. “What were you working on today?”

Ikeda looks mildly surprised, for a split second, to hear Haru respond with something other than indistinct mumbles, but the easy smile returns to his face quickly. “My starts. They’re really erratic. Sometimes they’re perfect, and sometimes I can’t get the angle right and I go in too deep.”

“I have a friend who used to have that problem,” says Haru, thinking of Nagisa.

“Yeah? Did he fix it?”

“Someone told him to keep his gaze on the far wall when he dives. Something about keeping the goal in sight.”

“Hmm. I'll try that. Coach Takahashi had some other advice too,” says Ikeda. He leans forward and props his head in his hands, watching the other swimmers who’re practising their starts. “I just don’t always remember in that moment, you know?”

“Yeah.” Haru does relate to this. When he’s in the pool, instinct just takes over. He knows he’s supposed to be conscious of all kinds of things, of the way he’s moving and each millimetre of his stroke, but mostly, all he thinks of is being in the water. His coach is working on fixing small things a little at a time, drilling them into Haru until they become ingrained into his muscle memory.

“Repeating theory over and over again to you is not going to help, Nanase, so we’ll do it this way,” he’d said.

Ikeda’s talking again. “Hey, some of us are going out for dinner and drinks after this. You want to join us?”

Haru glances at the clock on the wall. It’s just gone past six. He wonders briefly what Makoto is doing, then looks back at Ikeda’s expectant face.

“Okay. Maybe just for a short while,” says Haru. He doesn’t know if he can stand that much human interaction in one day.

Ikeda smiles. “All right!”

 

//

 

Later, over dinner, Haru sneaks a photo of his teammates talking to each other over bowls of oyakodon and sends it to Makoto.

_look. i’m socialising._

Makoto’s reply comes back almost immediately. _I’m so proud of you!!_

Haru smiles.

“Nanase! You’re smiling at your phone! Who’s that?” asks the guy sitting opposite him, with a grin. Nakayama. Haru has to think a little before he can recall his name.

In his mind, all his teammates are classified first by their stroke, then their swimsuit colour. Nakayama is _butterfly, green and blue_. Ikeda is _breaststroke, red_.

“Friend,” is all Haru says in reply. He puts his phone back into his bag.

He feels a little off-base, and he realises it’s because he’s never had to answer a question like that before. If anyone from Iwatobi had asked him that, he would have said “Makoto”, and that would have explained everything.

Makoto has never been _backstroke, green and black_. Makoto’s just Makoto. _Friend._ He mulls the word over in his head. _Friend._

It seems to be a bit of an inadequate word to sum up Makoto, but there honestly isn’t a word in the language that _could_ sum up Makoto, so it’ll have to do for now, he supposes.

 

//

 

Two days later, Haru shows up at Makoto’s in the mid-morning with a bag of groceries and a backpack.

“Haru!” Makoto looks surprised, when he opens the door. “Aren’t we having lunch?”

“We are,” says Haru, taking off his shoes and making his way to Makoto’s kitchen without further preamble. It’s a Saturday, and Haru has the day off from training, which is a rarity he intends to make full use of.

“So… what are you doing here? I thought we were meeting straight at the ramen place?”

“Changed my mind.” Haru sets his bag down on the counter and starts rifling through Makoto’s largely bare kitchen cupboards. “Where do you keep your frying pan?”

A look of slow, horrified realisation is dawning over Makoto’s face. “Oh no, Haru.”

“It’s okay, I found it.” Haru takes out a pan from a cupboard overhead, and blows a bit of dust off it. Makoto clearly hasn’t used it at all since they first moved to Tokyo and went shopping for household essentials together. Haru remembers that Makoto hadn’t even been intending to buy one, until Haru had put it in his cart forcibly.

He grabs the chopping board and a knife from next to the sink. “Don’t put your pots and pans in overhead cupboards, Makoto. It’s hard to get them out from there because they’re heavy. Put them under your stove.”

“Ah, sorry, okay - wait, Haru, no! We’re not doing this!”

“Yes, we are. You promised your mother, right?”

Haru can play Makoto just as well as Makoto can play him. He’s a little smug about that.

Makoto lets out a long, deep, woeful sigh. He goes over to the kitchen dutifully, eyeing the frying pan like it’s a mortal enemy. “Remember what happened the first time you tried to teach me how to cook mackerel?” he says.

“Yeah. You do know which bottle of yours is the salt and which one is the sugar, right?”

“Um, I think they’re labelled… well, the sugar is the one I put in my coffee, so yeah, I think I know.”

“You _think_ , Makoto?”

Makoto’s flustered now. “Okay, okay, I know for sure! Haru, you’re so scary.”

“I’m not letting you ruin more good fish,” mutters Haru, as he takes out two juicy-looking flanks of mackerel. “Where’s your bamboo drainer?”

“Ummmm,” says Makoto.

Haru shoots him a glare, and starts rifling through more cupboards. It will never cease to mystify him, he thinks, how utterly useless Makoto is in this one area of his life, where he’s so put together with everything else.

“Do I have one?” Makoto asks.

“Yeah. I threw it in your shopping cart.”

Makoto looks around his kitchen helplessly. Haru sighs.

“Start slicing the ginger first while I organise your kitchen,” he says. “Do it _exactly_ the way I showed you that time.”

Haru’s tone is firm and commanding, and Makoto, without arguing, starts working on the ginger. He manages not to almost cut himself this time, though Haru can see that he still handles the knife like he’s frightened of it.

“Makoto,” he says, taking out the bamboo drainer from where it’s been stashed, incongruously enough, behind the mugs. “Don’t be scared.”

“I’m just not very good at this, Haru…”

“So? You have plasters, right?”

“That’s not the point!” Makoto cries.

Haru holds up his fingers to Makoto, close to his face, so he can see the small scars from nicks, cuts and burns that he’s given himself in the kitchen over the years. “Get over it, Makoto. You won’t be the first person to pick up a cooking injury.”

Makoto flinches a little, but Haru notices he doesn’t look away. He stares at Haru’s fingers for a split second, as though he’s never seen them before, then his gaze softens, and that warm, familiar smile spreads across his face. “You’ve always been braver than me, Haru.”

“Don’t talk nonsense,” Haru says, laying the mackerel out on the bamboo drainer. He turns away so that Makoto can’t see the self-conscious embarrassment written all over his face.

Makoto just laughs.

“When you’re done with the ginger, douse the mackerel,” Haru says, short and brusque, starting to fill the kettle and putting it on the boil.

“Yes, Haru.” Haru can hear the smile still on Makoto’s face.

Haru continues to put Makoto’s kitchen in order. As it is, the soy sauce is stashed with the konbu, the oil is next to the rice, and the miso is in the same compartment as the fruits in the fridge, for no discernable reason whatsoever. “Makoto, your kitchen makes no sense!” he snaps, when he finds the chopsticks in a separate drawer from all the rest of the cutlery.

“I’m sorry!” Makoto wails. “I don’t really use it much.”

“That’s obvious,” says Haru.

“I had so many things to unpack. I think by the time I got to the kitchen I was so tired, I just threw things wherever they fit…”

“You’re lucky I’m here,” Haru mutters.

“I know.” Makoto beams. “ _Really_ lucky.”

Haru tries to look exasperated, but it somehow turns into an answering smile, small and fleeting.

He finds the rice cooker under the sink, puts two cups of rice in, then thinks better of it and fills it to capacity. He might as well make extra for Makoto’s meals over the week, because Makoto is clearly not using it himself.

“Hey, how was your dinner the other night?” asks Makoto. “I didn’t get to talk to you yesterday, so I never asked.”

“Dinner?” Haru repeats, blankly.

“You sent me that picture.”

Makoto finishes up with the ginger and rinses off the knife. He moves on to the fish under Haru’s watchful eye.

“Oh.” Haru had nearly forgotten all about it. “It was okay.”

“Really, Haru, you go to all that effort to socialise and then you have nothing else to say about it… well, did you have fun?”

Did he? Haru thinks back to that evening. He’d stayed through the whole dinner, which, he supposes, is a good sign. “Yeah, I guess. We talked about swimming.”

“You _would_ talk about something like that. So, what are your teammates like?”

Haru frowns a little. “Ikeda talks too much. But Nakayama and Harada are okay.”

“Hey, you know people’s names now!” Makoto looks far too impressed by this. Haru rolls his eyes and says nothing.

“Ikeda is the breaststroke guy, right?”

Makoto’s seen some of his teammates before. He’s dropped by Haru’s pool a few times to meet him for dinner after practice. Makoto likes to sit and watch the training from the bleachers when he can come by earlier, to see how the professional coaches work, and also, Haru’s pretty sure, to see him swim.

Makoto has never made any secret of the fact that he likes watching Haru swim. His presence by the pool is such a given in Haru's life that Haru doesn’t really think anything of it, though it’s a little weird to have Makoto in the stands now instead of waiting at the end of the lane with that hand extended towards him.

“Yeah. That’s him. He’s the one who asked me to dinner.”

“Good,” says Makoto firmly. “You need these people in your life who talk too much and drag you around. Or you would never do anything other than swim, go home, eat mackerel and sleep.”

“That sounds pretty good,” Haru mumbles under his breath.

Makoto hears it. Of course he does. He laughs, warm and knowing.

They move on to frying the fish. Haru wants to hear about Makoto’s life, too, wants to know what he did yesterday when they didn’t get to talk because Haru had late training and Makoto had that project meeting. But he doesn’t want to distract Makoto when he’s dealing with spattering hot oil, so he stands by silently, watching Makoto jump a little as he pours in the soy sauce and mirin.

Haru resists the urge to grab the spatula out of Makoto’s hand, ignoring the pleading looks he’s getting. “No,” says Haru. “You’ll never learn if you don’t do it yourself.”

Makoto sighs mournfully. “Haru…”

“Your mother will kill me.”

“How do I know when it’s done? What if I burn it?” Makoto sounds slightly panicked.

“Wait till the skin’s turning brown and give it a prod. If you don’t know, it’s better to stop early. Raw fish is okay. Burnt fish is _not_ ,” says Haru, emphatic.

“Um, okay, I’ll try…” Makoto says, eyeing the mackerel with a wary stare.

The smell of sizzling mackerel is starting to fill the small kitchen area. Haru inhales deeply.

He leans back against the countertop, watching Makoto’s intense expression of concentration, smiling a little at how seriously his best friend’s taking this. He’s in the bright yellow Iwatobi High School t-shirt, with that penguin on the back, and seeing this fills Haru with an unexpected warmth.

Makoto seems okay, for now. Haru puts the kettle on and starts making tea.

This is nice, he thinks, gazing out the window at the blue spring sky. The buildings lined up on the horizon seem to stretch out forever, but here in Makoto’s tiny apartment, it feels like they’re in a world of their own.

It's a different kind of nice. It’s not Iwatobi. Their friends are miles away, and Ran and Ren won’t come running up to tackle them at any moment, and there are traffic noises outside that constantly remind Haru of the fact that they’re in a big city with about a million times more people than their tiny town by the sea. But in the faceless, teeming mass of humanity that is Tokyo, he is glad that the two of them, he and Makoto, can carve out something that feels just a little bit like home.

“I think I’m done,” says Makoto, hesitantly. Haru goes over, and Makoto steps back from the pan, turning off the stove for Haru’s inspection.

“Hmm. Looks edible.”

Makoto looks utterly chagrined. “Haru! I worked so hard and that’s all you have to say?”

“Let’s see how it tastes first.” Haru tries to keep his expression serious, but he knows there’s a small smirk on the corners of his lips.

“You’re so cold, Haru,” says Makoto, the hint of a faint whine in his voice.

Haru snorts. “Don’t whine. You sound like Ran.”

“Ran wouldn’t say that. You’re never cold to her, Haru-chan.”

“Don’t call me -chan.” Haru grabs a pair of chopsticks from Makoto’s newly rearranged cutlery drawer, and prises off a bite-sized piece of fish from the pan.

Makoto’s face falls. “Ah, it’s not totally cooked through…”

“Doesn’t matter. The pan is still hot. Just turn the heat back on to low, cover the lid and leave it inside for a few more minutes. Anyway, raw fish is okay too.”

“You should write a cookbook, Haru,” says Makoto, following Haru's instructions.

“I only know about mackerel.”

“A mackerel cookbook, then.” Makoto laughs.

“You can write it for me. You should write down all these things I’m teaching you so you can cook for yourself next time,” Haru points out.

“You’re right!” Makoto looks flustered. “Sorry. I’ll write it up after lunch. You can help me with the bits I don’t remember…”

Haru doesn’t miss the implication in those words, that he’ll be staying around for a while after lunch. Of course he will. He’s brought his homework along in his backpack. Makoto doesn’t even need to ask for a confirmation.

“Here.” Haru shoves the chopsticks he’s holding towards Makoto. “Try this.”

Makoto obediently opens his mouth, and Haru feeds him the piece of mackerel he’s been holding. “How is it?”

Makoto smiles. “It’s good.”

“See? Cooking is easy.”

“Only with you, Haru.”

Makoto’s smile softens. Haru’s heart clenches, a little.

“You’d better learn how to do this when I’m not around,” he mutters. “Don’t eat out every day.”

“Yes, Haru.” Makoto laughs.

Haru crosses over to the stove. “And don’t lose track of time. Here, this is done. Go get the rice.”

He turns the heat off and takes the mackerel out of the pan, ladling it out on top of the rice that Makoto brings over to him.

They bring their bowls over to the table in the living room, and Makoto starts talking again. “I had such a long day yesterday,” he says, with a small sigh. “We got stuck on this one thing in our early childhood education project, and no one wants to be the one presenting on Monday, so I ended up having to say I’ll do it, and I’m a bit nervous…”

“You can practice with me later,” says Haru. “I’d like to see your project.”

Makoto brightens. “Thanks, Haru.”

“It’s nothing. What else did you do yesterday?”

As Haru settles in, slowly eating their home-cooked lunch with Makoto’s pleasant chatter filling his ears, that sense of familiar warmth returns. It wraps around him like a comforting cocoon.

 _I should bring some vegetables next time._ Haru doesn’t usually bother with such superfluous things that aren’t necessary for the enjoyment of mackerel, but he’s dimly aware of the fact that vegetables are nutritious and Makoto should be forced to eat them too. There’s probably also some minimum vegetable requirement on his meal plan. Somewhere. He’ll figure it out.

The breeze from the open windows grazes his cheek gently. Haru glances up, shielding his gaze from the midday sun.

A pair of birds fly past outside, silhouetted against the buildings of Tokyo, and time seems to stand still for a moment on this lazy Saturday in the city, for just him and Makoto.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The cooking scene was supposed to be my attempt at light fluff but it ended up being full of feelings and thoughts anyway, I'm sorry guys. I can't seem to get away from that tone somehow ^^;;
> 
> Generous smatterings of content from _High Speed!_ and the MakoHaru duet CD's original drama track here, though I changed Haru's recipe a bit so it's easier to write about.
> 
> Thank you so much for reading! Kudos are super appreciated and comments really make my day ♥
> 
> You can find me on [Tumblr](http://themorninglark.tumblr.com/), where I post a lot of Free! thoughts, analysis and commentary.


	6. the sound of a penguin squawking

Makoto has four different message tones on his phone.

He’s in the middle of an essay about basic sport safety when one that he hasn’t heard in a while rings out, loud and clear. He nearly falls off his chair in surprise, smushing his keyboard and winding up with the line _Many sport injuries can be prevented by following a regular conditioning program of as;kgkajbnhkhgheal/ak_

“Urgh,” Makoto mumbles, holding down the delete key.

He straightens himself out and reaches for his phone beside his laptop, but it’s not there.

 _I must have left it in my bag_ , he thinks, as he pushes his chair back. He hears that unmistakeable sound again from somewhere in his apartment.

Makoto's four tones are: a melodic piano jingle for his family, a ringing windchime for Haru, one short, functional beep for everyone else. And finally, for Nagisa, the tone he set on all of their phones, a squawking penguin.

“I can’t have this on my phone!” Rei had protested adamantly, at the time. “It’s not beautiful at all!”

Nagisa, however, was not to be deterred. “But then you’ll always know it’s me, because no one else would have a message tone like this!”

“For good reason…” Rei had muttered.

Hearing another squawk that makes him start as he searches futilely through his school backpack, Makoto thinks to himself that Rei was right.

Three messages in a row. Nagisa must be really excited about something, thinks Makoto with a smile.

Makoto finally finds his phone on the kitchen counter, two more squawks later. He flips it open to see a string of garbled texts.

**From: Hazuki Nagisa  
Received: 10:31pm**

_Mako-chan! (_ ^▽^ _) Are you free to talk?_  
 _Is Haru-chan with you?_  
 _I’m just a bit confused about something~~~_  
 _Ah I guess it’s not really important if you’re busy!_  
 _OH I KNOW YOU CHANGED MY RINGTONE THAT’S WHY YOU’RE NOT ANSWERING MAKO-CHAAAAAN (Ｔ▽Ｔ)_

Makoto stares at his phone, then types a reply as fast as his fingers can, ignoring the typos.

_Nagisa!?! I did not chsnge your ringtone. I ciuldnt find my phone. I’ll call you in five minutes._

He then calls Haru immediately.

Haru is number 3 in his speed dial. 1 and 2 are Mom and Dad.

The phone rings once. Twice. After the fourth ring, Makoto’s just beginning to despair of Haru picking up when he hears a click on the other end of the line.

“Makoto.” Haru’s soft, low voice sounds in his ear.

“Oh, thank god you’re not in the bath!”

“Makoto. What’s wrong?”

“Did Nagisa call you?”

“Nagisa?” Haru sounds mystified. “Wait. I haven’t looked at my phone in an hour.”

Makoto hears some beeps then, and he figures Haru’s pressing buttons, scrolling through his notifications.

“No calls, but two messages,” says Haru, when he gets back on the line. “Just came in. He asked if I was with you. Then he asked if I could talk.”

“He didn’t say what it was about?”

“No. Why? Makoto, did something serious happen to Nagisa?”

“I don’t think so… I think he would have called instead of just sending messages, if so,” says Makoto, thoughtfully.

“He didn’t call you?”

“No, but he sent me five messages and accused me of changing his ringtone.”

Haru snorts in disdain. “ _I’ve_ changed it.”

“Haru! Don’t tell him that.”

“I’ll change it back when we next see him. Nagisa will never know. If you don’t tell him.”

Makoto laughs. “Okay, okay. I’d better call him now.”

“Do you want me in on this call?”

Makoto considers this. “It’s okay. It’s getting late, and you have early morning training tomorrow, right?”

“It’s fine. I can talk if it’s important.”

”No, don’t worry about it. I’ll handle Nagisa. Thanks, Haru.”

“Mmm. Okay then. Tell me what happened.”

“Yeah. I’ll call you again if it’s not too late.”

Makoto presses the end call button and dials Nagisa in a hurry. As the phone rings, he tries, and fails, to imagine what kind of scenario would prompt Nagisa to send him such cryptic messages. He wonders briefly if Nagisa needs help with homework, but dismisses the notion. That’s what Rei is for. And knowing Nagisa, that _it’s not really important if you’re busy_ means _it’s actually really, really important_.

It’s not that Nagisa’s trying to guilt-trip him into anything (or that it takes very much effort to guilt-trip Makoto). It’s just Nagisa’s way. Blow the little things out of all reasonable proportion, sweep the big things under the carpet.

A sudden fear pops into Makoto’s head. What if Nagisa’s run away from home again and he has nowhere to go?

There’s a click on the other end of the line, and Nagisa’s cheerful voice rings out like a clear, pealing bell. “Mako-chan! You really called!”

“Nagisa, where are you?” Makoto blurts out without thinking.

“Um, at home…?”

“Oh, thank god,” says Makoto, collapsing onto the floor of his living room as he slumps against a wall.

“It’s almost eleven o’clock, Mako-chan, where would I be?”

“I was worried you’d run away again,” says Makoto.

“Oh!” Nagisa’s sounds slightly abashed. “I’m sorry I made you worry.”

“It’s okay. What’s wrong? You said you were confused about something.”

There’s a long silence on the other end, which makes Makoto lift his phone from his ear and tap the receiver slightly to make sure it’s still working. He presses it closer to his ear, and can just about make out quiet breathing. “Nagisa? Are you there?”

“Ah, sorry, yes, I’m still here, Mako-chan! It’s just - ” Nagisa pauses, hesitating.

 _Now_ Makoto’s really getting worried. Nagisa is many things, but hesitant is not one of them. He wonders if Nagisa’s about to start crying, which would be really bad.

“Nagisa… it’s okay,” he says, in his most soothing, coaxing tone.

“One of our classmates asked Rei-chan on a date,” says Nagisa, the words spilling out in such a rush, tumbling over each other in their hurry to leave Nagisa’s mouth, that Makoto almost doesn’t catch what he’s saying.

It takes a second for this to sink in. It’s _definitely_ not what Makoto had expected. “Huh?”

“There’s no club practice tomorrow, so they’re going out after school.”

Makoto’s mind is processing this as rapidly as it can, on a weeknight, with an unfinished essay still blinking on his computer screen. _Oh boy_ , he thinks.

“Nagisa…” His voice is filled with understanding.

Nagisa gives a small sniffle. “I’m being silly, right? It’s just that, you know, after you and Haru-chan and Rin-chan left…”

Nagisa trails off again. Makoto prompts, gently. “It was just you and Rei for a while, right?”

“Yeah,” says Nagisa. He’s stopped sniffling, but there’s a little, uncertain quiver in his voice. “And I guess, with Rei-chan, I always thought it would be the two of us together. Always.”

_Oh, Nagisa._

Makoto remembers now. The loneliness that Nagisa had felt, being left behind back when he was in elementary school, when he and Haru had moved on to junior high and Rin to Australia. He recognises the signs all over again, and worse, because this clearly isn’t something Nagisa had ever expected to happen.

This thing with Rei isn’t just jealousy, thinks Makoto. Yes, there is _some_ jealousy, but it goes beyond that, into the realm of very real fear.

“Rei would never leave you alone, Nagisa,” he says, and he means it. He’s not just saying the words to make Nagisa feel better. If there’s anyone in the world who’s devoted to Nagisa, it’s Rei.

“Not on purpose,” says Nagisa, softly. “But it might just _happen_ , right? It’s normal for people to date and see others. And Rei-chan is smart, funny and good-looking… I shouldn’t be so surprised.”

“Are you upset that he agreed to go on this date?” Makoto asks.

“No! I want Rei-chan to be happy!”

Makoto catches the small twinge of hesitation before Nagisa’s emphatic denial, and thinks, oh, Nagisa, you _are_ upset. He lets out a small breath, wondering what he should say next.

“If you want Rei to be happy, then it’s okay, Nagisa. Just be yourself.”

“Eh?” Nagisa just sounds confused now.

“Don’t worry about Rei. Worry about yourself first. Rei can’t be happy if he sees _you’re_ not happy, right?”

“Y-yeah… I guess so…”

Makoto smiles, and hopes it carries down the phone to Nagisa through his voice. “Let Rei take care of his end of things. You’re best friends. Even if things change, even if other people come into the picture, you have to trust him.”

“I do trust Rei-chan,” says Nagisa, and this time there’s no hesitation whatsoever.

Something occurs to Makoto then. “You know, Nagisa, I think maybe Haru felt the way you feel now when I first told him I was going to Tokyo.”

“Ah!” Nagisa exclaims. Makoto can see him now, eyes widening. “You’re right, Mako-chan! You disappearing to Tokyo is _worse_ than Rei-chan going on a date! Of course Haru-chan was upset!”

“I know,” says Makoto. He feels a small pang of guilt well up again. It’s been nearly a year now, since that time, but that feeling, that look of shock on Haru’s face, has never quite left him.

He takes a deep breath, and lets it out slowly. “But I wasn’t disappearing. I mean, I knew that wherever we go in our lives, Haru and I will always be connected. We would never lose each other. I think you and Rei are like that too.”

“Wow, Mako-chan, I’m going to tell Haru-chan you said that.”

“No you’re not!”

“You’re so soppy,” says Nagisa.

Makoto laughs. Nagisa sounds a bit more like himself, now. “Says the one who’s getting upset because his best friend’s going on a date.”

Nagisa laughs at that, too, a little. “I’m being a bit dramatic, huh?”

“Don’t ever change, Nagisa. You wouldn’t be you if you weren’t dramatic.”

“It is one of my best qualities,” says Nagisa proudly, with no shred of shame at all.

“It’s definitely one of the things Rei appreciates about you. Without you his life would be so dull.”

“ _Yeah._ ” Nagisa’s voice is petulant. “Maybe I should remind him of that.”

Oh no, thinks Makoto. He can almost see the glint in Nagisa’s eyes over the line.

“Nagisa,” says Makoto, sternly. “You will _not_ interfere with Rei’s date.”

“I wasn’t going to do that!” Nagisa protests.

Makoto says nothing, merely taps his fingers on the floor patiently, idly.

“All right, all right, Mako-chan. You’re so _sensible_. I can’t stand it.”

“I know. That’s why you called me. Did you want to speak to Haru too? Sorry, he has early morning training tomorrow, so I told him he should go to bed first.”

“It’s okay! Oh, is Haru-chan staying over at yours?”

“No, not when he has these morning trainings. My place is a bit too far. He can jog to the pool from his house.”

“Oh yeah. Sometimes I forget that you’re not neighbours anymore. Seems weird, huh?”

Makoto smiles. “We’re getting used to it. We don’t live that far apart, and we still hang out at each other’s quite a lot. Haru’s been teaching me to cook, remember?”

They’d mentioned it in their last Skype group call, though Makoto’s not sure if Nagisa remembers it, since most of it had been Nagisa giving them enthusiastic reports on the current state of the new kouhai and how awesome Rei-chan is at being captain.

Nagisa bursts out laughing now, a proper, delighted, mirthful laugh, and Makoto’s spirits lift. “Oh yeah! Have you burnt down your kitchen yet?”

“I will have you know, Hazuki Nagisa, that my kitchen is very much in one piece, thank you,” says Makoto indignantly. He doesn’t bother to mention the fact that he did actually burn some curry the other day, or that Haru had yelled at him for having the most disorganised kitchen in existence, the first time he came round to make fried soy sauce mackerel.

“If you cook a three-course meal for us when Rei-chan and I come to visit, I’ll buy you a month’s worth of chocolate!”

“Deal,” says Makoto, far too quickly, before smacking his forehead with his palm. What _has_ he just agreed to? He makes a mental note to send Haru a panicked SOS.

“Anyway…” Nagisa’s voice calms down. It’s a bit more sober, now. “It’s late. I guess we should sleep soon.”

“Yeah. I have this essay to do,” says Makoto mournfully.

“Oh no! Mako-chan! You should have said! I’m sorry!” Nagisa wails.

“No, Nagisa, don’t be silly. Any time. You have to call me and tell me about Rei’s date, okay?”

“Okay! I’ll get all the hot goss from him!” Nagisa singsongs into the phone.

His voice is light and airy, but Makoto recognises this for what it is: Nagisa’s trying his best to put on a brave front.

“Hey, Nagisa,” says Makoto. “Trust Rei. Okay?”

“Okay.” Nagisa’s reply is quiet, and a little hopeful. “Thanks, Mako-chan. Goodnight.”

“Goodnight, Nagisa.”

Makoto glances up at the clock as he hangs up. It’s almost midnight, and he decides not to call Haru. He types a message into his phone instead.

_Nagisa was upset because Rei’s going on a date._

It’s factually correct, but it just looks really lame when he’s typed it out like this. Delete.

_Nagisa’s been feeling lonely since we left, and…_

Makoto studies this for a while, then decides it might make Haru feel bad. Delete.

_Nagisa’s confused about…_

Makoto stops typing because he doesn’t know how to continue the sentence. What exactly _is_ Nagisa confused about? He’d said in his initial texts that he was confused about something. His feelings? His feelings about Rei? Makoto’s dimly aware of the possibility, but -

Delete.

After staring at the blank phone screen for what feels like forever, Makoto sighs and opts for a copout message, because it’s late, he has work to do and his brain feels like it’s been through a wringer.

_Nagisa’s fine, but it’s too complicated to explain over text. Tell you more tomorrow over dinner. p.s. free for dinner? ^__^_

Send.

 

//

 

“I see,” says Haru, calmly.

They’re at the ramen shop again. It’s where they end up, inevitably, when neither of them can think of anywhere to eat, because it’s walking distance from Haru’s pool and he’s usually ravenous by the time Makoto comes to meet him after training.

“What do you think, Haru?”

Makoto’s barely touched his noodles. He starts eating now, slowly. Haru’s already eaten half his bowl as he’s listened to Makoto talk, and has raised his hand for kaedama.

“Hmmm. I think Nagisa has nothing to be worried about…”

“Yes, me too,” says Makoto, thoughtfully. “I mean, you just need to see the way Rei looks at him, right?”

“…but,” Haru continues, then pauses again.

Makoto stops mid-slurp, looking over at him expectantly, with a mouthful of noodles.

“But I can understand his feelings anyway,” Haru finishes, his voice dropping low.

Makoto doesn’t miss that. He feels the guilt well up again, and starts opening his mouth to apologise, but he’s cut off then with a sudden, piercing blue glare.

“Don’t apologise,” says Haru, his tone sharp.

The words are on the tip of Makoto’s tongue. He swallows.

“What Nagisa said is right. It’s normal for things to change.”

Haru’s kaedama appears on the counter then. He looks away as he pours the extra noodles into his soup, stirring purposefully.

“And it’s normal for people to worry about it. Even if they know, deep down, that they have nothing to be worried about, because they really do trust the other person.”

Haru’s just talking to his bowl now. He’s not looking at Makoto, and his hair is falling across the profile of his face and forehead, shading his eyes. Which is just as well, Makoto thinks, because he doesn’t feel he’ll be able to meet Haru’s gaze head on right now without falling apart into a flustered mess.

"The other person is lucky to have their trust," he says, with a small smile, turning back to his own bowl of noodles.

Haru doesn't say anything, just keeps eating in silence. A few minutes lapse, within which everything unspoken is louder than words.

“You think Nagisa will be okay?” asks Makoto, lightly, after a while.

Haru nods. “He’ll be okay. Nagisa is the most resilient person I’ve ever met.”

“Resilient, huh?”

“Hmm,” says Haru. “That’s not really the right word. I meant something more like, if you squash him, he refuses to stay flat. Or die. Like a cockroach?”

“Haru, you can’t go around calling your friends _cockroaches_!”

“You say I’m like a dolphin.”

“How is a dolphin _anything_ like a cockroach?” Makoto says plaintively.

“They’re both animals.” Haru says this as if it explains everything.

“Yeah, but dolphins are _beautiful_ , and cockroaches are… cockroaches.”

“Small, annoying and impossible to kill. Just like Nagisa.”

Makoto can’t help laughing. “Haru, you’re the worst.”

Haru calmly finishes the last of his noodles, and shoots Makoto a look. “Don’t talk so much. Eat faster. I want to go home.”

“Yeah. It’s been a long day for you, huh?” says Makoto.

These days with early morning trainings are always especially exhausting for Haru, who’s never been much of a morning person to start with. What with training, plus lectures, plus more training, plus Nagisa, Haru’s had a lot piled on him today, thinks Makoto.

But all Haru says as he returns Makoto’s concerned gaze is, “You too.”

Makoto smiles, then, gentle and warm.

“We should both get some rest tonight. Tomorrow, Nagisa will probably call and talk my ear off about Rei’s date.”

Haru raises his eyebrows. “Do you want me in on that call?”

Which, Makoto knows, is Haru’s way of saying _let me help_ while trying not to _actually_ sound like he’s offering to do something so troublesome.

“Sure, if you have time? We can all Skype in. I’ll let Nagisa know we can both talk to him.”

“Tomorrow’s training starts earlier. I’ll be done before half-past four. I'll go to your place.”

“Ah, great, you can help me with dinner!” Makoto brightens, then his face falls as he remembers a bit of the conversation from last night that he'd conveniently forgotten. “I kind of promised Nagisa I’d cook him and Rei a three-course meal when they visit…”

Haru narrows his eyes at Makoto. “Why would you make such a stupid promise?”

“Um,” says Makoto, feeling foolish.

Unfortunately, Haru can read him like an open book. “What did Nagisa bribe you with?”

“A month’s worth of chocolate.”

Haru sighs deeply. “Makoto. We only have a few weeks, and you haven’t even moved past mains into dessert yet.”

“I know. Save me, Haru.”

“I’ll bring the most brainless dessert recipe I can find tomorrow, you idiot.”

“Thanks,” says Makoto, pouring as much heartfelt, genuine feeling as he can possibly muster into the words.

“Thank me when you actually manage not to mess it up.”

“That might be a while.”

Haru rolls his eyes at him, and Makoto laughs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thought, after five chapters' worth of warm feelings and domesticity, it was time to introduce some kind of drama somehow, and Nagisa stepped up to the plate. Thanks, Nagisa. Really, don't ever change.
> 
> I started writing about Rei's date, but then it just turned into ridiculous stalker!Nagi crack fic and I moved it to a "Deleted Scenes" document. Next time, hopefully you'll get to read the non-crack version of it, heh. Anyway... this was my attempt to do ReiGisa realistically. I didn't want to just rush them into something or have them already in an established relationship. It took a lot of rewrites. I hope it worked out!
> 
> Thank you so much for reading! Kudos are super appreciated and comments really make my day ♥
> 
> You can find me on [Tumblr](http://themorninglark.tumblr.com/), where I post a lot of Free! thoughts, analysis and commentary.


	7. look out for the balloons

“Tiramisu? _Really?_ ” Makoto looks horrified.

Haru nods firmly. “Tiramisu. Go make coffee.”

They’ve just finished a miso mackerel dinner - Makoto’s getting better at not under- or over-cooking the fish, though his seasoning ratios leave something to be desired still - and Haru’s whipped out a pack of sponge fingers from the grocery bag.

“It sounds difficult…”

“Nonsense. It’s the most easy dessert in existence that still looks impressive. You don’t even need to bake anything.” Haru fixes Makoto with a glare. “If you’re going to be so defeatist, do you want to just serve yogurt with chopped fruits?”

“No! That’s _lame_ , Haru.”

“Well, tiramisu is just as easy and it’s not lame. Go make coffee,” Haru repeats.

Makoto sighs, mournfully. “Did I ever tell you you’re really scary in the kitchen?”

Haru doesn’t bother dignifying that with a response.

He sticks the recipe to the fridge door and double checks the rest of the ingredients, taking the eggs out.

“Hey, Haru,” says Makoto, glancing at his phone on the counter. “Do you think Nagisa will call?”

“You told him he could call, right?”

Makoto nods. “Yeah. I texted him. He replied and said he would. But it’s a little bit late… I thought he’d call after club practice.”

Club practice usually ends before dinner time. It’s just past eight o’clock now.

Haru shrugs. “Maybe he decided there was no need to.”

“Maybe…” Makoto’s frowning, slightly. “But I’m worried about him.”

Meddlesome as always, thinks Haru. “You call him, then. He’s probably at home now.”

“Yeah, I think I will,” Makoto finishes making a cup of coffee and holds it out to Haru, looking helpless. “What do I do with this?”

“Pour it into a shallow dish and put it in the fridge. It’ll cool faster then. We need to dip these in it.” Haru points to the sponge fingers.

“Why can’t we just dip them now?”

“The biscuits will melt if the coffee is hot, you idiot. You’ll get mush instead of cake.”

“Oh!” Makoto looks genuinely surprised. Haru, with commendable effort of will, resists the urge to smack him upside his head.

“Here, while the coffee is cooling, why don’t you call Nagisa? The rest of the steps are so simple anyway.”

“That’s what you say…” Makoto makes a face at Haru, but he reaches for his phone and flips it open, scrolling through his name list and pressing the dial button. He puts the phone on speaker and places it back down on the counter.

Nagisa picks up after a few rings. “Mako-chan! Hello!”

“Nagisa! Are you okay? I thought you’d call!”

“Yes! I’m - ”

Just then, Haru hears a familiar, deeper voice in the background. “Eh?! Makoto-senpai’s calling?”

“Rei!” Makoto says, surprised. “You’re at Rei’s house?”

“Ye-es! We’re doing homework.” Nagisa singsongs meaningfully into the phone. So that’s why he didn’t call right after club practice, thinks Haru. He couldn’t, not with Rei there.

“Oh! Uh, well, I was worried, so I just thought I’d check that you’re okay, but it sounds like you’re okay…”

“Hang on, Mako-chan, I have to put you on speakerphone because Rei-chan is giving me dirty looks for hogging your attention!”

There’s the sound of a click on the other end. Then Rei’s voice floats out of the phone, more clearly. “Makoto-senpai, this is a nice surprise!”

“Ah, Rei, hi! Sorry to interrupt your homework.”

Typical Makoto, thinks Haru. When he can’t think of anything to say, he starts apologising for nonsensical things.

“It’s okay, I think Nagisa-kun could use a break. We’ve been working pretty hard.”

“But Rei-chan is a good teacher. I understand this trigonometry much better now!” says Nagisa, brightly.

Makoto smiles. “That’s good. I was calling because, uh, Nagisa told me yesterday he had a problem…”

“A problem with trigonometry,” Haru supplies, shooting Makoto a glare.

“Haruka-senpai! You’re there too!”

“HARU-CHAAAN!” Nagisa’s joyful voice rings out of the phone.

“Nagisa. Did the problem turn out okay.”

“Yes!” Nagisa says quickly, and Haru knows he’s picked up on the meaning in his question. “I can’t really explain it now, because the trigonometry’s a bit complicated, but with Rei-chan, everything’s fine!”

“It’s not really that complicated, Nagisa-kun,” says Rei. “It’s just a matter of - ”

Haru really has no desire whatsoever to hear mathematical talk right now, so he turns to Makoto pointedly. _I’ve done my part. Your turn._

“It’s okay, Rei, as long as Nagisa understands it.” Makoto laughs. “I’m glad you’ve sorted it out, Nagisa. Haru and I have to go now, okay?”

“So quickly?” Rei says in surprise. “You called just for that?”

“Uh, when Nagisa told me about the problem, it sounded pretty serious.”

“Trigonometry is life and death serious, Rei-chan.” says Nagisa. Haru can just imagine his face, his eyes wide and brows furrowed, glaring at Rei. “You of all people should know that!”

Rei sounds baffled. “If you say so…”

“Haru is giving me a look,” says Makoto quickly. “Gotta go. Bye, Nagisa, Rei!”

As Nagisa and Rei chorus their goodbyes out of the phone and Makoto hits the end call button, Haru _does_ give Makoto a look. Makoto grins sheepishly. “Sorry to use you.”

“You’re a terrible liar.”

“Sounds like they made up, huh?”

“I don’t think they were fighting in the first place,” says Haru. Just then, the penguin squawk sounds, and Makoto looks down at his phone again.

Haru leans over to read Nagisa’s message. _Thanks for calling, Mako-chan! I’m sorry I didn’t call! Rei-chan asked me over to do homework and I couldn’t say no. (Ｔ▽Ｔ)_

 _It’s okay. So how was his date?_ Makoto types back.

“Makoto, you’re more gossipy than a girl.”

“Am not!” Makoto protests.

_Hehe. He said it was fine, but he wouldn’t go on a second one. Ken-chan seemed a bit unhappy in class today. (-‿◦☀)_

“Ken-chan is a boy’s name,” Haru points out.

“Ah, you’re right,” says Makoto, thoughtfully. “So Rei went on a date with a guy.”

Haru is not in the least surprised by this news, and judging by Makoto’s tone, neither is he.

Makoto’s looking at him with an odd expression Haru can’t quite place. “Do you think it’s weird? Going out with a guy?”

Haru shakes his head. “No. Do you?”

“Not at all.” Makoto smiles.

He returns to his phone, typing a reply to Nagisa. _Sounds like you have nothing to worry about, then ^^_

_Yeah. But you were right, Mako-chan, if it’s the two of us, we’ll always be okay!_

The phone squawks again a second later, before Makoto has a chance to type anything in response. _Tell Haru-chan thank you for me too!!!_

Makoto holds the phone out at Haru. “You want to reply?”

Haru shakes his head. He didn’t really do anything, he thinks.

“Let’s make this dessert,” he says, going to the fridge. “I think the coffee should be cooled enough by now.”

 

//

 

Haru had thought that a no-bake dessert would be totally failproof, but as it turns out, Makoto is hopeless at separating eggs. Still, after several tries, they’d managed to end up with something that looked fairly presentable.

“Do you want to come over and eat it tomorrow?” Makoto had asked, while doing the dishes. They’d never really discussed it, but it’s become an ingrained part of this kitchen deal they have going. In return for Haru’s supervision, Makoto always washes up.

“No. I’m busy. You can bring it to class in the morning.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah. Get some opinions from your classmates. Then we can see what to improve when Nagisa and Rei come.”

“Okay. Thanks, Haru! I owe you!”

Haru’s on his way back now, bits of conversation replaying in his head as the train rumbles down the track. He thinks to himself that if either of them really bothered to keep a running tally of how much they owed each other, the list would be so long, it would stretch from Tokyo to Iwatobi and back.

_If it’s the two of us, we’ll always be okay!_

Haru remembers the smile on Makoto’s face, at that moment, and he knows that they’d had the same fleeting thought. Nagisa and Rei are like Haru and Makoto. They’ll always be okay.

But something else Nagisa said has been echoing in his head, after dinner with Makoto last night, when he’d first told Haru about this Rei-going-on-a-date business.

_"Nagisa was saying that after we all left, it was just him and Rei for a while..."_

_Just the two of them._

Haru can still hear the penny falling, spinning in his mind, as he walks back - he still can't quite think of his apartment in Tokyo as _home_ \- through small pockets of crowds on the mazy streets, passing under streetlights, feeling their sudden heat on his face in the late spring chill. 

Tokyo is warmer than Iwatobi. He doesn't live near the coast anymore. He can't smell the salt of the sea on the morning breeze, or go on spontaneous late night runs by the shoreline. Every day he spends here, he chalks one more little thing up on the list of things he left behind in order to move forward. 

The one thing still with him is Makoto. 

_Just the two of us._

But It’s not like they haven’t always been a thing, because they have. Tachibana and Nanase. Makoto and Haruka. _So what’s the big deal_ , Haru wonders. What exactly about those words is sticking with him?

The light on the front porch of his building is flickering. It looks almost haunted, and Haru makes a mental note to warn Makoto of it the next time he’s around at night so he doesn’t jump out of his skin with fright.

He takes the stairs up to his apartment, shucks his shoes and jacket off at the door and heads straight to the bath for a nice, long soak. He’s still wearing his jammers. As he sinks down into the water and stares at the ceiling, the feel of the water on his skin soothes him, chasing all semblance of conscious thought right out of his mind.

Haru closes his eyes and breathes in, breathes out, imagining he’s suspended in the middle of the ocean.

A beep from the floor startles him out of his reverie. With a small frown on his face, he dries a hand on the towel beside his tub, reaches down for his pants and fishes out his phone gingerly, flipping it open while trying not to get it damp.

_Haru, I know you’re in the tub, get out and don’t fall asleep in there! You’ll catch a cold! ^^_

Haru taps out a short reply, one-handed.

_go to bed already._

_Soon. Just finishing some work. Goodnight!_ says Makoto’s answering text.

_goodnight._

Haru sits in the tub for a while more, idly making ripples on the water’s surface with his fingers and watching them spread, till the water turns cool. He’d never admit it to Makoto, but he’s right; Haru is awfully tired, and falling asleep in the tub is not as fun as it sounds.

 

//

 

Haru’s first big tournament is in early June. It’s also Nagisa and Rei’s first visit. They’d booked their tickets the minute they heard about it.

Haru had tried to tell them they really didn’t need to come, but when they’d confirmed their trip, he’d been a little happy, secretly.

Or maybe not so secretly, considering the knowing look Harada is giving him now in the locker room. “Is that a _smile_ , Nanase?” he asks, with a grin of his own.

“Shut up,” says Haru, but he’s still smiling, a little, as he flips his phone shut.

Makoto’s text had been unusually cryptic. _Look out for the balloons. ;)_

Makoto had picked Nagisa and Rei up from the airport last night. Haru had been under strict orders, from both his coach and Makoto, to rest well and sleep early, so he hadn’t been able to go along. He hopes he manages to spot them in the stands.

Harada closes his locker with a small slamming sound. He’s a freestyle specialist too, and will be swimming in all of Haru’s races. The 200m free is their first one.

“Is your girlfriend from Iwatobi here to watch you, or something?” Harada teases.

“No,” says Haru, shortly. “My friends.”

“Ah, that’s nice.”

They walk out to the pool together. Harada’s a few lanes down from Haru, who is smack in the middle.

Haru shoots a glance towards the stands as he readies himself, standing in front of his block. There are an awful lot of people, and he wishes Makoto had been a little bit more specific than just balloons. What use is _balloons_ , anyway? There are banners, mascots and flags everywhere, bright splashes of colour scattered all over. It's more dazzling than the light coming out of the tunnel. Haru's eyes smart. 

Then he sees them. _Oh_ , he thinks. _So that's what you mean by balloons, Makoto._

They're in the front row in one of the upper decks. They must have come pretty early to secure those seats. Nagisa's waving frantically at Haru, a huge, silly smile on his face, and the biggest, most ridiculous bunch of balloons Haru has ever seen in his other hand. These are not your everyday party balloons. These are crazy, industrial-grade, balloons to put all other balloons to shame. These are balloons the size of a blimp. And Haru doesn't know what entity Nagisa has bribed to pull this off, but he's somehow managed to get four extremely specific ones -

A dolphin, a penguin, a whale and a butterfly. 

Haru's heart gives a small leap.

"Go, Haru-chan!!!" he hears Nagisa yell at the top of his lungs, over the roar of the crowd. 

Haru meets Nagisa's gaze for a moment. _Stupid_ , he thinks. _You'll block everyone's view with those enormous balloons._

Rei is next to Nagisa, waving excitedly too, and on Nagisa's other side is Makoto, looking down at Haru with a proud, affectionate smile on his face. 

Haru takes his place on his starting block and snaps his goggles on. He looks out down his lane, at the still blue pool, calling his name, calming his mind. 

This is my path, he thinks. I chose it. But I’m not alone on it, after all. My friends are here.

Focus.

The water is alive. He feels it stretching out before him, inviting him in.

_“Take your marks.”_

Bend down. Foot back. Gaze forward.

_”Ready.”_

Fingers grip the starting block tightly. Muscles tense. Inhale.

The whistle sounds.

Haru leaps, straight and true as an arrow, into the water’s embrace.

 

//

 

“Did you _really_ make this, Mako-chan? Don’t lie!” Nagisa stares at Makoto through narrowed eyes.

“He really did,” Haru affirms.

He doesn’t mention that he helped separate the eggs, because Makoto still can’t manage that without getting bits of shell into everything. But Makoto had assembled every other part of this dessert with admirable fearlessness.

“It’s actually edible!” Nagisa exclaims in shock round a mouthful of tiramisu. From the way he’s stuffing his face, Haru thinks it’s probably a shade better than just edible.

“Nagisa-kun, don’t be rude!” Rei admonishes him. “It’s very good, Makoto-senpai!”

Haru sees Makoto let out a small breath of relief. He smiles.

He puts a spoonful of cake in his mouth. It is good. Makoto’s much better now at dipping sponge fingers into coffee without soaking them too much.

The meet wrapped up today. Nagisa and Rei have to run to the airport soon, to catch their flight back to Iwatobi for school tomorrow, and they’re just finishing early dinner now.

The ridiculous balloons - now slightly deflated - are tied onto Haru’s bag, bobbing lightly in the gentle breeze that blows through Makoto’s living room. His gold and silver medals sit inside, on top of his change of clothes.

“I guess I owe you a month’s worth of chocolate, Mako-chan,” mumbles Nagisa, round a mouthful of tiramisu.

Makoto smiles. “I’ll be waiting for it next time you visit.”

“Your final race was very beautiful, Haruka-senpai,” says Rei, looking at Haru. “I’m glad we could come and see you swim again.”

“Thanks,” says Haru. He pauses, feeling the words sticking in his throat.

Makoto’s gaze is on him, warm and understanding. “I think it meant a lot to Haru too that you could be here, Rei, Nagisa. Thank you.”

As always, Makoto says what Haru can’t.

“You managed to win because we were here, right, Haru-chan?” Nagisa turns to Haru with a cheeky grin. “We’re like your good luck charms!”

Haru gives Nagisa a flat stare. “You mean I managed to win in spite of the racket you were making.”

Nagisa had showed up for his 100m free final with the world’s largest arsenal of party poppers and a loudhailer that would put Coach Sasabe’s to shame, and Haru had pretended not to know him when Harada asked who the kid sitting next to his friend Tachibana was.

Nagisa appears to have no shame at all. “Next time I’ll bring more horns!”

“Sorry, Haruka-senpai,” says Rei, apologetically. “I’ll check Nagisa-kun’s bag next time.”

Makoto laughs.

 

//

 

They walk Nagisa and Rei as far as the station. “Don’t send us all the way to the airport,” Rei insists. “It’s late, and you’ve had a long day, Haruka-senpai!”

Haru returns their hugs, and watches as they hug Makoto goodbye as well before heading through the ticket gantry, turning and waving as they disappear down the escalator.

Haru thinks about how he and Makoto don’t hug, and wonders if it’s because they’ve never really had an occasion like this, saying goodbye to each other.

Makoto turns to Haru. “Shall we go?”

Haru nods, and follows Makoto back out to the road.

He’s packed to stay over at Makoto’s, tonight. Haru is glad he doesn’t have to trudge all the way back to his place. It has been a long and eventful day, as Rei said, and the tiredness is starting to set in now.

“You worked hard today,” says Makoto, quietly. “Well done.”

Haru turns to look at his best friend. Despite the people all around them, Makoto’s gentle smile seems to exist only for him, in that moment. Haru's had congratulations and well-wishes thrown at him all day, from his coach, his teammates, reporters, photographers, competitors... but Makoto's simple words stir something in him that none of the others do.

“Thanks,” says Haru.

He’s suddenly very conscious of the fact that now that Nagisa and Rei have gone, it’s just him and Makoto again, and then -

The penny finally, finally stops spinning, and drops.

Haru understands now.

It’s been the two of them as long as they remember, but it’s never been _just_ them, not like this, on their own in a huge city of faceless strangers. The irony of feeling more isolated in their own world among 13 million people than among 12 thousand isn’t lost on Haru, and he knows, now, where that slowly welling feeling in his chest has been coming from:

He’s used to seeing Makoto all the time.

He’s not used to seeing Makoto _alone_ all the time.

They walk on back to Makoto’s in that old, companionable silence, Makoto’s footsteps close to Haru’s, pressed in by the passing crowds on the street. Closer than usual. Haru’s skin tingles, the same way it does when he’s in water.

 _That’s it,_ thinks Haru, barely noticing where he's going. _That’s what I’ve been feeling._

Like Nagisa had said, after Makoto, Haru and Rin left, it was just him and Rei; on the flipside, after he and Makoto left everyone, it’s just been the two of them. In a way it hasn’t before.

Without their high school classmates, without Nagisa and Rei and Rin, without Ran and Ren, without Makoto’s mom and dad, without any one of the familiar faces from Iwatobi hovering around, Makoto’s constant presence at his side here in Tokyo is the same, and yet - different. With no one else here to diffuse his radiant warmth, Haru feels it more than ever. Enveloping, embracing him, Haru breathes it in, moves in it with a new intensity.

There’s just more one-on-one _everything_ , even though they see each other so much less than they did in Iwatobi. More smiles. More long chats over dinners. More sharing about their days, now that they don’t overlap. More fussing over whether Haru is wearing enough warm clothing, never mind that spring in Tokyo is positively balmy compared to the bracing sea breezes they’re used to.

They’ve met each other’s university friends, of course. Haru’s teammates, Makoto’s classmates, Makoto’s neighbours, Makoto’s project group, Makoto’s random hangers-on, Makoto's fans, so many of them Haru can’t keep them straight. Makoto is the sort of person who attracts others like a magnet, even as he laughs it off with embarrassment.

But at the end of the day, when all the other people are gone, it’s still always down to the two of them.

_It’s normal for people to change._

He’d said that to Makoto, that time in the ramen shop. He’d been talking, of course, about Rei and the situation with Nagisa, and about Makoto making up his mind to follow his dream in Tokyo, but beyond that -

Some part of Haru is dimly aware that he was talking about their _now_ , as well. Makoto is still warmth, familiarity and all things comfortable to him, but he’s coming to realise that no matter how he might try to cling on to the past, Makoto and Haruka in Tokyo are not one hundred percent the same as Makoto and Haruka in Iwatobi.

And maybe that’s not a bad thing.

As they move forward on their own paths, side by side, Haru can’t shake the feeling that something is changing; maybe it’s him, maybe it’s Makoto, maybe it’s both of them, together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are moving, slowly but surely. Tiramisu is my go-to dessert as well when I have no time to do anything more complicated :)
> 
> Thank you so much for reading! Kudos are super appreciated and comments really make my day ♥
> 
>  
> 
> [find me on Tumblr!](http://themorninglark.tumblr.com/)


	8. let's swim first

Makoto’s in the college courtyard, typing up discussion notes with two of his classmates, when the unexpected little _ding_ of an incoming chat sounds from his laptop.

 **Rin Matsuoka:** _yo, makoto  
_ **Rin Matsuoka:** _how’s it going_

Sydney is two hours ahead of Tokyo. It’s probably just before dinnertime for Rin. Makoto rarely hears from him like this, and it’s a nice surprise. He smiles to himself as he replies.

 **Tachibana Makoto:** _Rin! Things are good!  
_ **Tachibana Makoto:** _I’m in the middle of a project discussion ^^ but keep typing, I’ll reply when I can! Tell me how you’re doing!_

Kaoru, leaning over, glimpses the popup on his screen. “Oooh, who’s _Rin_? Is she your girlfriend?”

Makoto laughs. “No, Rin’s a guy.”

“Awww, you’re boring, Makoto-kun.”

“He’s my friend from Iwatobi. He’s in Australia now,” Makoto explains.

Kaoru’s already lost interest, upon hearing that Rin isn’t some fling of Makoto’s, and returned to the extremely sketchy draft of the sample training chart they’ve drawn up for their assignment. “So if the athlete weighs this much, he needs to…”

“Wait, I know that name.” Naoki interrupts Kaoru, screwing up his face in thought. “Matsuoka Rin? The swimmer?”

“Huh?” Makoto looks up, surprised. “You know Rin?”

“Not personally, just heard of him. He really made an impression at Nationals last year. One of Japan’s big swimming hopes, right?”

Makoto still can’t quite get used to people seeing his childhood friends this way, but it fills him with pride nonetheless.

“I know he trains in Australia,” Naoki continues. “But I didn’t connect the dots till you said Australia and Iwatobi together like that. You guys are from the same hometown, huh?”

 **Rin Matsuoka:** _same old. train, eat, sleep, train, eat, sleep…  
_ **Tachibana Makoto:** _You’re a university student!! Aren’t you supposed to be studying too???  
_ **Rin Matsuoka:** _please  
_ **Rin Matsuoka:** _i could pass exams with my eyes closed  
_ **Tachibana Makoto:** _T___T_

Rin _has_ always been a surprisingly good student, and sports science _is_ right up his alley. They compare notes, sometimes, where their curriculum overlaps, though Rin’s stuff is a lot more technical than Makoto’s.

Makoto nods at Naoki. “Yeah. We used to go to the same swimming club in elementary school.”

“With Nanase?” Naoki’s eyes are shining with excitement as he leans forward.

“Yes,” Makoto says. “They were great rivals. And friends.”

He pauses. “Still are,” he adds, and smiles.

“Ahhhh, that’s amazing!” says Naoki, a huge grin on his face.

Makoto forgets sometimes how big of a sports geek Naoki is. He’s like a walking encyclopedia when it comes to Japan’s athletes. He’d nearly fainted the first time he met Haru - just after managing to keep it together for long enough to ask for a photo with him.

Haru had acceded, with some reluctance, at Makoto’s cajoling. “Are all your friends like this?” he’d asked afterwards, looking profoundly unimpressed.

“Ah, Haru, just humour him. It won’t be the first time people ask you for photos, you know? It’s good practice for you. You’re terrible at photos, you need to learn to smile!”

“Do not,” Haru had muttered, looking away, and Makoto had laughed, with affection.

Amused, he types Rin a message.

 **Tachibana Makoto:** _Hey, one of my classmates is a big fan of yours. He’s very excited that I’m chatting with you right now. ^^  
_ **Rin Matsuoka:** _are you shitting me???  
_ **Rin Matsuoka:** _…i guess it’s natural that i’d have some fans  
_ **Rin Matsuoka:** _i mean, look at this body  
_ **Tachibana Makoto:**   _Yes, Rin. Of course.  
_ **Rin Matsuoka:** _the face that comes with it isn’t bad either_

Kaoru’s head snaps up then. “Hey, speaking of Nanase-kun, he did really well at that recent tournament! I read about it in the papers!”

"Gold and silver in the freestyle events, right?" Naoki supplies.

“Yes.” Makoto nods, thinking back.

It’d been his first swimming tournament as a full-fledged spectator rather than a competitor, his first time watching Haru from that distance in a huge stadium like that, with so many other people. Wearing his t-shirt and jeans rather than legskins, tracksuit and jacket. Sitting next to old friends he hadn't seen in months, friends he used to see every day.

All the little ways in which things felt _different_ , subtle and jarring and disarmingly new, had seemed to push themselves to the forefront of Makoto’s mind as he sat among the crowds that first day.

_This is how it’ll be, from now on. This is our future._

_I’ll be here, and Haru will be there._

He remembers that thought coming into his mind then, while listening to the commentator, listening to Nagisa’s nonstop chatter, idly observing, with amusement, the way that Rei’s gaze on Nagisa only seems to have grown more exasperated and - at the same time - even fonder than before since they left them in Iwatobi.

It’s bittersweet, but perhaps, thinks Makoto, a little more sweet than bitter. Just being able to be here for Haru, to see him compete, is enough to make his heart swell.

The one thing he remembers most of all about that day is the small thrill that’d run through him when Haru had walked out of the tunnel, cast his gaze towards the stands, and locked eyes with him for a second, a smile flashing across his face. Faster and briefer than any camera could catch, for Makoto's eyes only.  _Probably the balloons_ , Makoto thinks. _Those giant balloons would have made anyone smile._

But some part of him is faintly aware that it's not just the balloons.

Kaoru brings him back to the present with an insistent tap on the table. “Let’s get back to this. I have a date to go to!”

“What? _Another_ one?” Naoki says in disbelief.

“I have a good feeling about the guy this time, okay?”

Makoto types a hurried goodbye to Rin, as Naoki distracts Kaoru temporarily with talk of her dating woes.

 **Tachibana Makoto:** _Hey I gotta do some work for a bit. Later?  
_ **Rin Matsuoka:** _yeah ok i’m cooking dinner now  
_ **Rin Matsuoka:** _i’m bored as hell, tonight’s TV is crap and my flatmate has pissed off somewhere  
_ **Tachibana Makoto:** _You could always study!  
_ **Tachibana Makoto:** _Ahh sorry my classmate is giving me a death glare, ttyl!_

 

//

 

Kaoru ends up leaving early for her date, leaving Naoki and Makoto to finish up the training chart themselves, with a fervent promise that she’ll bring them a whole box of pon de ring the next time they meet up.

Makoto loves those donuts. They don’t have Mister Donut in Iwatobi. It’s another item on a growing list of Tokyo things, things that are different, but in a good way, a welcome way. Things he’s discovered here that have opened his eyes to the world just a little bit more. Even something as trivial as donuts.

“I’ll make sure to get you the chocolate-glazed ones, Makoto-kun!” she’d said, waving and dashing off.

“Must be good to have a love life…” Naoki had said wistfully, watching Kaoru disappear.

They’d worked on the assignment till dinnertime, then gone their separate ways. Makoto’s just about to stop by the combini and get takeout for dinner when he remembers that there’s some leftover zaru soba in his fridge. He thanks Haru silently for his constant nagging to always, always cook more and save the rest for another meal.

Makoto gets his food from the kitchen and plugs his laptop in. Opening the lid, he sees two blinking chat messages from this afternoon.

 **Rin Matsuoka:** _oh i heard about haru’s big wins  
_ **Rin Matsuoka:** _not bad eh_

The _online_ icon is still blinking next to Rin’s name. Makoto smiles.

 **Tachibana Makoto:** _Hey Rin, I just got home. You there?_

 

//

 

The end of June has always meant one thing, and only one, to Makoto, and this year it’s especially tricky.

_What can I do to make Haru’s first birthday away from home special?_

He ponders the question incessantly.

He thinks about it on the train. He thinks about it at the gym. He thinks about it in the tub, inevitably so, because being in the bath always makes him think of Haru, ridiculously enough.

He thinks about it at home, when he’s in the kitchen, trying his hand at something Haru taught him. He thinks about it while walking round campus.

He thinks about it in lectures, when he’s supposed to be paying attention. He finds himself writing random ideas down in the margins of his notebooks.

 _Pool_ gets serious consideration, but is crossed out quite quickly when Makoto realises that Haru spends a vast proportion of his waking hours by a pool, and yes, admittedly, he would probably enjoy even _more_ swimming, but it wouldn’t be particularly special.

 _Home-cooked dinner?_ Well, Haru would appreciate the effort, but Makoto isn’t really confident of cooking mackerel well enough to be birthday-worthy yet.

_Cat cafe???_

Makoto knows he’s scraping the bottom of the barrel when that doesn’t get struck out right away. _Maybe I should run this idea by Rei for a logic check,_ he thinks.

It’s not till a few days before Haru’s birthday that the perfect idea finally pops into his head, something which, thankfully enough, does not involve any cats.

 

//

 

 **Rin Matsuoka:** _yeah i’m watching olympic reruns  
_ **Tachibana Makoto:** _Just saw your chat from earlier. Yeah it went really well for Haru!  
_ **Tachibana Makoto:** _Nagisa and Rei came down to Tokyo and we all went to support him. Wish you could have been there too!  
_ **Rin Matsuoka:** _nah, i would have won  
_ **Rin Matsuoka:** _better let haru have his victories while he can  
_ **Tachibana Makoto:** _Rin… >__ _>  
__ **Rin Matsuoka:** _okay okay j/k (but not really)  
_ **Rin Matsuoka:** _yeah i do miss you guys  
_ **Rin Matsuoka:** _sousuke and i are way overdue for a catch-up. you and haru are really damn lucky to be in the same place after all._

Makoto types a reply, then hesitates before pressing enter. His finger hovers over the delete key, wavering, before he decides, _ah, what the heck_. Rin is thousands of miles away, and he probably won’t tell Haru.

 **Tachibana Makoto:** _I’m not really sure I’d call it luck…_

 

//

 

June 30 is a Monday, so he'll have to spring this over the weekend.

On Friday night, Makoto sends Haru a cryptic text message, turns off his phone immediately and dives nose-first into the thickest, most complicated textbook he has, knowing that he _definitely_ won’t be able to resist spilling the beans if Haru calls or texts him back. He's pretty weak like that.

The next morning, he’s more than a little relieved when Haru opens the door to him, fully dressed, albeit with a deeply suspicious look on his face.

“Good morning, Haru!” says Makoto. “Ready to go?”

“Is your phone still off?” is the first thing Haru says to him, glaring.

“Ahhh…” Makoto takes it out, and turns it on. “Not anymore!”

His phone starts beeping with missed texts and call notifications, which he ignores, tossing the phone into a corner of his backpack.

Haru sighs. He picks up his sling bag from the floor, puts on his slippers, and steps out to join Makoto in the corridor, locking the door behind him.

“Are you going to explain anything to me?” he grumbles.

“If I did, it would be a lousy surprise,” says Makoto, as they make their way down the stairs of Haru's building.

“Makoto. You told me not to take a bath this morning.”

Haru says this like it’s a great offense to his person that most certainly warrants an explanation.

“We have a train to catch, so I didn’t want to be late,” says Makoto, smiling.

“A train?” Haru’s eyes widen slightly. “Hmm.”

They walk on towards the station for a while, then Haru gives a small shrug. “Well, at least it’s not a plane.”

Makoto shudders at the thought of getting on a plane voluntarily. He laughs, then, remembering what had happened the last time one of Haru’s friends showed up at his door to drag him to a mystery destination. “Yeah. Definitely _not_ a plane.”

The corners of Haru's lips curve upwards slightly, into the tiniest of smiles.

 

//

 

 **Rin Matsuoka:** _huh? what are you talking about?  
_ **Tachibana Makoto:** _Okay, this is going to sound crazy, Rin, but do you believe in fate?  
_ **Rin Matsuoka:** _makoto  
_ **Rin Matsuoka:** _are you drunk  
_ **Tachibana Makoto:** _RIN!!!  
_ **Rin Matsuoka:** _you are drunk  
_ **Rin Matsuoka:** _i never see you type in capslock  
_ **Tachibana Makoto:** _……  
_ **Rin Matsuoka:** _ok, serious now  
_ **Rin Matsuoka:** _yeah, maybe, kind of? sometimes i think it was fate that i bumped into haru again after all those years. and sousuke.  
_ **Tachibana Makoto:** _When Haru told me he was coming to Tokyo too, I was really, really happy  
_ **Tachibana Makoto:** _And I told him that, but there was more I wanted to say, I just didn’t know how to say it_

Makoto stares at the screen for a while, wondering how to continue this train of thought without sounding like a lunatic. A drunk lunatic, apparently.

Then he sees Rin's typing a message.

 **Rin Matsuoka:** _makoto, you are such a sop  
_ **Tachibana Makoto:** _Why does everyone say that…  
_ **Rin Matsuoka:** _because it’s true. go on  
_ **Tachibana Makoto:** _No, it’s too embarrassing now.  
_ **Rin Matsuoka:** _makoto i swear to god  
_ **Rin Matsuoka:** _i am going to reach through my screen and kill you if you don’t go on RIGHT NOW  
_ **Rin Matsuoka:** _dammit makoto  
_ **Rin Matsuoka:** _is this because i called you a sop  
_ **Rin Matsuoka:** _i’ll never call you a sop again i’m sorry_

 

//

 

“How long is this train ride?” asks Haru.

“About an hour,” says Makoto.

Haru looks out the window at Tokyo’s urban landscape, passing them by. Makoto figures he’s trying to puzzle out where they could be going.

“You didn’t ask me to pack my swimsuit,” Haru says. “So it’s not somewhere with water.”

“I thought you would probably be wearing it even if I didn’t tell you,” says Makoto with a small laugh.

Haru opens his mouth again then, clearly about to protest, but Makoto presses on.

“And before you say anything… I had you covered, just in case.”

He reaches into his bag, then, and takes out a gift-wrapped package, handing it to Haru with a smile.

“Your first present. Happy birthday, Haru.”

Haru eyes Makoto with a raised eyebrow as he takes off the wrapping carefully. “ _First_ present?”

Makoto doesn’t say anything. His smile grows wider as Haru peels back the last layer of paper, to reveal a new pair of jammers that look exactly like all his others.

“They’re perfect,” says Haru. “Thank you.”

 

//

 

 **Tachibana Makoto:** _…okay  
_ **Tachibana Makoto:** _Well, I think what I wanted to say back then was that it felt like fate.  
_ **Tachibana Makoto:** _At that time I was so happy he was coming to Tokyo, but… thinking about it… I wasn’t that surprised.  
_ **Rin Matsuoka:** _you mean like, you had it figured he would just follow you?  
_ **Tachibana Makoto:** _No, not like that. Haru is following his own path. So am I. But it’s like it just turned out to be inevitable that our paths would cross. Like fate, you know?  
_ **Tachibana Makoto:** _Rather than luck, I mean.  
_ **Rin Matsuoka:** _that’s pretty intense man  
_ **Tachibana Makoto:** _I think I kind of sensed it back then but I only really understood it after all this time in Tokyo  
_ **Tachibana Makoto:** _Because everything here is new and different, except for Haru_

 

//

 

They get off the train along with a whole rabble of holidaymakers and tourists dressed in t-shirts and flipflops, armed with towels, and a look of comprehension dawns on Haru’s face.

“Ah. We’re going to the beach.”

Makoto gives Haru an enigmatic smile and tugs on his sleeve. “This way.”

Haru trails after Makoto, looking slightly bewildered, as Makoto leads him to a bus stop away from the rest of the crowd.

“We’re _not_ going to the beach?” Haru sounds slightly put out, now.

“You’ll see,” says Makoto.

 

//

 

 **Tachibana Makoto:** _And I think, because everything else is different, even our friendship is starting to feel a bit different. It's not the same as it was in Iwatobi. Even though we're the same people...  
_ **Tachibana Makoto:** _That made no sense at all, did it? ^^;;  
_ **Rin Matsuoka:** _nah it’s cool i get you  
_ **Rin Matsuoka:** _you're wrong,_ _btw_  
 **Rin Matsuoka:** _you're not the same people. going somewhere new changes you. trust me on this one_

Makoto blinks at his screen in surprise. He stares at Rin's message for a while, letting it sink in.

In the meantime, Rin's typing something new.

 **Rin Matsuoka:** _you really feel that way?  
_ **Rin Matsuoka:** _i think you should tell him_

Makoto can think of nothing that would make him want to crawl into a hole more.

 **Tachibana Makoto:** _WHY would I tell him??? It sounds so weird.  
_ **Rin Matsuoka:** _so it’s okay to tell me weird shit but not him?  
_ **Rin Matsuoka:** _have you met haru? do you know what a weirdo he is?  
_ **Tachibana Makoto:** _…that’s not really the point, Rin!  
_ **Rin Matsuoka:** _i’ll tell you what the point is  
_ **Rin Matsuoka:** _the point is both of you are shit at talking about stuff like this  
_ **Tachibana Makoto:** _I thought we agreed to call time on the insults…  
_ **Rin Matsuoka:** _nah, just on the sop thing_

 

//

 

Twenty minutes later, the bus drops them off among some greenery.

Haru looks around at their surroundings as they disembark. His expression is blank, but Makoto can read the _where’s my water?_ radiating off his face as easily as reading a book.

“Just a little while more,” says Makoto.

To his surprise, Haru nods in assent, and gives him a small smile.

Makoto leads the way through a narrow path, then another. The trees shade them from the mid-morning sun, and the quiet rustle of leaves overhead fills the air. He’s just hoping his memory hasn’t failed him, when -

The smell of the sea wafts faintly past his nose, and his heart leaps.

“Here we are.”

They emerge from the walkway onto a vast, untouched expanse of fine sand. There’s not a single other soul in sight. Rolling waves of deep blue wash gently on the shore, and a small promontory overlooking the sea sits just beyond the rocks on the far end of the beach. It's a secluded little piece of paradise, just theirs, for now.

Makoto hears a sharp intake of breath from beside him.

“How...?” Haru asks, almost in a whisper, as if speaking too loudly will shatter the fragile tranquility that envelopes this place like a bubble.

Makoto starts making his way down the beach. “We spent a few family holidays here. Just me and my parents, before the twins were born,” he says. “I don’t think a lot of people know about this part of the beach. I remembered it was always empty.”

Haru follows Makoto in silence. He’s still looking around, absorbing everything, the look of awe and contentment on his face filling Makoto with warmth.

“I thought of just bringing you to any beach for your birthday," Makoto continues. "But that didn’t seem special enough. Then I remembered this spot. It's beautiful, isn't it?”

They stop next to the rocks, and Haru, without further ado, starts stripping immediately. As Makoto predicted, he _is_ wearing his jammers.

Makoto hides his knowing smile by turning away to get changed himself.

Haru’s voice sounds, suddenly, from behind him. “You didn’t really have to do anything special for me.”

“Well, it’s your first birthday here in Tokyo,” Makoto says. “And you only have me to celebrate with. None of the others are around. I wanted to make it a good one for you - ”

Haru cuts in. “It’s enough if you’re here, Makoto.”

Makoto turns around to meet his gaze.

It’s unusual enough that Haru faces him head on when he’s saying something like this. It’s so much more his way to look elsewhere, pretend to study the floor and his shoes intently, stare into space with a look of mild annoyance on his face.

But now Haru’s looking at him, and Makoto _knows_ there’s a blush on his cheeks that he can’t explain away with the summer heat.

“Haru…”

He takes a step forward, wondering in that split second if Rin is right after all, if they _are_ shit at talking about stuff, and then -

At the last possible moment, just as Makoto takes another breath and starts to speak, Haru looks away.

“Let’s swim first,” he murmurs softly into the air, walking down towards the sea.

Makoto’s heart sinks a little. Then Haru’s words register.

_Let’s swim first._

_And after…?_

 

//

 

 **Rin Matsuoka:** _let me tell you something else  
_ **Rin Matsuoka:** _haru probably feels the same way  
_ **Tachibana Makoto:** _…Why is this starting to sound like a love confession?  
_ **Rin Matsuoka:** _oh my god, makoto, get a clue  
_ **Rin Matsuoka:** _because it fucking_ **is**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. If you don't know what [Mister Donut or a pon de ring](http://www.tokyoeats.jp/tag/pon-de-ring/) are, you're missing out on the best donuts ever, like, seriously.
> 
> 2\. I'm rather fond of Naoki :)
> 
> 3\. I PROMISE NEXT CHAPTER UP FASTER SO PLEASE DON'T KILL ME FOR ENDING THIS ONE HERE. I LOVE YOU ALL.
> 
> ===
> 
> Thank you so much for reading! Kudos are super appreciated and comments really make my day ♥
> 
>  
> 
> find me on [Tumblr](http://themorninglark.tumblr.com)!


	9. inevitable

Haru moves through the water slowly, unhurriedly, letting the currents pull him where they will.

He's always loved the sea. The pool is a bastion of calm, quiet serenity that soothes him, but it's here in the sea that he feels, most of all, just how _alive_ the water truly is. It has a mind of its own. It's not always friendly. But if he understands it, if he accepts it, if it understands him as well, he can always find a space in the water where he belongs, and it's then that he feels alive too.

Looking out at the never-ending ocean, Haru is reminded just how small he is, and how big the world really is.

He drifts along underwater for as long as he can, dimly aware of Makoto’s presence behind him.

_Let’s swim first._

Here in the water, where words can’t be spoken, everything else is ten thousand times louder. Looks. Gestures. Silences.

Haru turns his head slightly, stealing a quick glimpse at Makoto through the rippling blue. It’s rare to see Makoto doing anything but backstroke. It’s been a while, thinks Haru, since he last saw Makoto’s breaststroke, and it hasn’t changed at all - still rough, still powerful, still the stroke of someone throwing all his might, and then some, into things.

It’s just like Makoto. Sometimes people are surprised by the raw force of his swimming, but to Haru, it’s Makoto through and through; his best friend may be a gentle soul, but when he does something, he does it seriously. He goes for it with all his strength, and all his heart.

Makoto catches Haru glancing over at him. He smiles.

_louder_

An image flashes through Haru’s head, of that smile among the crowds in the stands that day, reaching straight down to him, like a warm, familiar hand pulling him out of the water.

_ten thousand times louder_

The water’s getting deeper now. Haru turns around, and swims a little closer to shore. He knows Makoto is following him, and no matter what Makoto says about being over his childhood fears, Haru’s not letting him venture any deeper than his feet can stand. Really, thinks Haru, if he weren’t here, Makoto would just end up splashing blindly way out into the ocean because he doesn’t know his own strength, and then there’d be trouble.

What would Makoto do without him?

_What would I do without Makoto?_

All this time, hiding in the comforting silence of the sea, Haru’s been wondering what they’ll say to each other when they finally get out. It’s funny, having to consider something like this, when the one thing about him and Makoto has always been that they don’t _need_ to say anything to each other.

But he’s not afraid. And if there’s anything he’s learned, from the last time they failed to say anything to each other and ended up in a fight so bad he flew five thousand miles away to escape, it’s that some things are too important to leave unsaid.

 

//

 

“Ah, that was so refreshing!”

Haru, towelling off his hair, looks up at Makoto. He’s standing at the water’s edge, looking out at the horizon, the waves lapping at his toes.

Makoto turns to Haru, smiling. “I haven’t been swimming in the sea for a while. It’s different from being in the pool, huh?”

Haru nods. “Yeah.”

He heads up the beach and sits down in the sand. Makoto comes up to join him. The summer sun is in full blaze, but they’re shaded by the trees behind them, and as Haru stretches his legs out in front of him, leaning back on his arms and tilting his head up slightly to look at the blue sky, he wishes they could stay like this forever.

It’s pretty much a perfect birthday present. The sea, a deserted beach, and Makoto by his side. Makoto’s knocked it out of the park. As he always does, year on year, without fail.

A small sigh escapes his lips.

“Haru?”

He turns to see Makoto’s questioning gaze on him.

"It's nothing," he says. "I was just thinking that your birthday presents are too good. I can't match them."

Makoto laughs. "Don't be silly. It's not a competition."

If it was, Makoto would always win. That's why they can't have a competition, thinks Haru.

"Thank you for showing me this place," he says.

He feels like Makoto has given him some hidden, secret part of himself, sharing this spot with him, and that makes it even more special.

The warm, familiar smile returns to Makoto’s face. “I’m really happy you like it. I thought for such a long time about what to do for your birthday this year…”

There’s a brief pause, then Makoto laughs again. “I almost brought you to a cat cafe.”

Haru stares at Makoto for a while, then can’t help a small chuckle as well. “ _Why?_ ”

“Because I saw one in town the other day. And it reminded me of the cats back home. You know how we always used to play with that white cat on the stairs? And those other kittens?”

“Mmmm.” Haru remembers those cats well. There are no friendly strays around his or Makoto’s apartments here. Tokyo is too full of people. “Maybe that would have been fun too.”

Makoto’s smile turns gentler. “I miss those cats, sometimes.”

Haru looks at him, and he knows what Makoto’s really saying is _I miss Iwatobi, sometimes._

“Me too,” says Haru, looking out at the ocean. They sit in silence for a while.

“But Tokyo’s not that bad, either.”

Makoto’s voice is soft, and full of hope. Haru turns to look at him.

“Yeah. It grows on you,” he says.

“I didn’t think I would ever get used to it, at first,” Makoto says. “How crowded it is. How noisy the traffic outside my window is all the time, even at night. Having to take the train to school instead of walking. But now… it all seems so normal, right?”

“I still walk to school,” Haru remarks.

Makoto smiles. “So you do.”

Haru knows what Makoto means, though.

“But I can’t walk to your house anymore,” he adds.

“Yeah… that’s something else we had to get used to,” says Makoto, somewhat wistfully.

“Things change,” Haru murmurs.

A long, poignant silence falls between them. Haru hugs his knees to his chest, and starts drawing circles idly in the sand with a finger.

The circles morph, after a while, to rough little outlines of things he knows, like the stone steps that lead up to his old house, and Iwatobi-chan.

“Not just things… people too, huh?”

Makoto sounds unusually pensive. His gaze is still fixed on the horizon, somewhere far away, and he takes a deep breath before continuing to speak.

“I was talking to Rin the other day.”

“Rin?” Haru glances up. He stops drawing, for a brief second.

“He was telling me that going somewhere new changes people.”

Haru’s reminded of the conversation he and Rin had, on Bondi Beach. That was the first time he’d realised what it had really meant for Rin to leave his life behind in Japan, start anew somewhere else, away from friends and family.

“Rin would know all about that,” says Haru.

“He would. _Trust me on this_ , he said.”

Makoto turns then, to look straight at Haru.

“Do you feel it, Haru? That we’re changing, since coming to Tokyo?”

“Yeah.” Haru nods. He pauses briefly, weighing his words. “The city is too big for us not to change.”

Makoto smiles, and Haru knows he understands, where perhaps no one else would. “It really is.”

Makoto looks away then, down at the sand. The sound of the sea fills their silence.

Haru thinks about all their changes.

He thinks about the different daily routines they both have, now. He thinks about the other friends and people they spend time with. He thinks about how the little things that define them, that shape their lives, have slowly evolved, and expanded.

And he thinks about how Makoto’s not _neighbour_ , _classmate_ , or even _teammate_ any more. Makoto’s gone back to just being what he was from the very beginning, _friend_ , and yet not quite. It’s not as simple as that, and perhaps it never has been.

Maybe, thinks Haru, it's not that Makoto's gone back. Maybe he's gone  _forward_.

“You know, Haru… I think I was trying to hang on to something from the past, with you here,” Makoto says.

He pauses again.

“Then I talked to Nagisa. About Rei, that time. I realised that things are changing even for them, back home. And after a while… that made me think, what about us? How can I keep trying to keep things exactly the same between us, when everything else _around_ us is changing?”

Makoto looks back up at Haru. Those green eyes, usually so soothing and gentle, are now filled with a single-minded determination that Haru’s only ever seen a mere handful of times.

“Makoto,” says Haru. “You weren’t the only one trying. I wanted things to be the same, too.”

Makoto’s eyes widen.

“It’s not that I especially wanted to go to Tokyo just because you were going there,” Haru starts, then stops. He’s well aware this is a terrible and awkward place to pause, and he’s counting on all the telepathy between the two of them for Makoto not to get flustered or offended.

This is where his thoughts always get stuck. He knows there’s _some_ feeling behind them, but he doesn’t know how to say it. “It’s just that…”

“That it was inevitable?”

Makoto’s words catch Haru by surprise, and his breath catches in his throat.

_Inevitable._

Like dominoes falling, one piece after another, Haru finally sees the whole scene play out in his mind, and it starts from the day he met Makoto, a day he doesn’t even remember.

_Makoto and Haruka, always together. At the playground. At Iwatobi SC. In class. In the swimming club in junior high. Walking home. Walking to school. Taking late night jogs. Playing with Ran and Ren. Eating dinner. Cooking mackerel. Failing to cook mackerel, in Makoto’s case._

Inevitably, ending up together, without even thinking.

Haru’s always been aware that he always gets caught up in Makoto’s pace. He’s also always been annoyed by it. But at the end of the day, he doesn’t fight it, like he doesn’t fight the ocean tides. It’s pointless to do so.

Makoto smiles at him, then. “I felt that way, too. I think that made me want to hang on to our past selves, even more. But now, I think…”

Makoto trails off again, as he tilts his head to one side, a contemplative expression on his face.

“I think… it’s okay if things change, right? It’s more than okay, actually. It’s _right_ that things change.”

His voice grows gentle, then.

“Otherwise… we’d get stuck, you and I, Haru-chan.”

Haru’s finger pauses, mid-circle, in the sand. The nostalgia of the childhood nickname hits him so hard in that moment that the _drop the -chan_ dies on the tip of his tongue.

He knows Makoto’s gone back to the past, too, in his mind. That _Haru-chan_ is an unspoken plea for their old connection, clasped hands and shared popsicles, sleepovers and video games. Things they left behind. Things they both yearn for, rose-tinted memories, and yet - if they're to move forward -

_We’d get stuck, you and I._

_Haru-chan._

“Are we going somewhere, then?” Haru asks, softly. “Makoto.”

But some part of him already knows.

“I think so. Somewhere new,” Makoto says after a while, so quiet it’s almost a whisper.

Haru looks up. Their eyes meet.

Haru lets out a small sigh. He’s never been good with words, and he can’t think of anything to say just then, anything at all, so he settles for inching closer to Makoto, and resting his head on the taller boy’s shoulder without preamble.

He feels Makoto tense, for a split second, then relax slowly.

Makoto’s arm comes round him, holding him close.

Every other sensation seems to flow out of Haru in that moment. There’s nothing left but an overwhelming feeling of ease, comfort, and _rightness_ that seems to well up from deep within him.

They sit like this together, gazing out at the ocean in silence, for a long time.

 

//

 

Haru can tell Makoto’s lost in thought, from the way he stares into the distance, far away, even as his hands busy themselves rolling up his towel and putting the cap back on his water bottle.

Haru doesn’t ask any questions. Makoto will speak when he’s ready.

Their shadows have grown longer, and the water colder, as the tide comes in. The sun is starting to disappear over the horizon. They’d walked up the beach for a while, over to the promontory, and Haru had sat on the edge with his legs dangling over the water, looking out at the vivid red-orange-yellow of this strange new sunset.

It’s his first beach sunset, here in Tokyo, city of so many, many firsts, so many new things.

Haru steals a quick glance at Makoto as he finishes packing. _Is this a first? Is this a new thing?_ In a way, he supposes, it is; but at the same time, it’s as natural as breathing.

Makoto takes one last, long lingering look out at the beach. “It feels sad to leave,” he says, softly.

“We’ll come back,” says Haru.

Makoto hesitates, then. He’s standing on the threshold, where the sand meets the narrow path back to the bus stop, as if part of him is worried that when he crosses back into the real world, all this will have turned out to be a dream.

But Haru knows it’s real. It’s the realest thing he’s ever experienced.

“Haru…”

Haru slings his bag over his shoulder, and looks at Makoto, waiting.

“I guess things are going to change even more now, huh?” says Makoto.

Haru fixes him with a steady gaze. “Do you want them to?”

A small, hopeful smile flashes across Makoto’s face, then. “I think, if it’s like this, with you, then… yes. Yes, Haru.”

“If it’s a change we both want, then it’s a good change, right?” Haru says.

He smiles back.

Makoto’s expression softens. The affection that shines in his eyes is warm and familiar, but there’s something more to it now, Haru sees, something deeper, and intense.

“Shall we go, then?” says Makoto. “It’s getting late.”

He reaches out a hand to Haru. Haru takes it.

They step forward, together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is obviously a really special one for me. I hope it was for you too.
> 
> I think all that's left for me to say in this end note is: Thank you all, SO MUCH, for sticking with me through over 20,000 words and nine chapters to reach this point ♥
> 
> Also, don't worry, the fic is not ending (yet). This is only the beginning of a new phase in their lives. There's still some story left to tell ;)
> 
> As always, thank you for reading, and comments make my day! I love you all.


	10. this is not a shoujo manga

With every minute of the ride back that ticks by, every rumble of the train over the tracks, Makoto still can’t stop being amazed at the feel of Haru’s hand in his.

They don’t talk much on the journey. There are too many people around them, and they have nothing to say that’s for others to hear. But Haru never lets go, his long, pale fingers twined in Makoto’s on the armrest.

Makoto rubs small circles with his thumb, experimentally, onto the back of Haru’s hand.

He’s rewarded with a quick squeeze back. Haru’s gaze remains distant, watching the dimly lit dark blue of Tokyo’s outskirts pass them by from their window. But Makoto knows his heart is right here, in this little space in their train carriage, in Makoto’s hand.

Haru edges ever so slightly closer in his seat, his arm pressed up against Makoto’s.

_closer_

_come closer_

The train rolls on, steadily and inexorably, towards a place that’s starting to feel more and more like home.

 

//

 

Haru’s house is four stops before Makoto’s on the subway. As they approach his stop, as Makoto steels himself to say a farewell and goodnight that he really doesn’t want to, and has never wanted to -

He can put a name to it, now, finally. That feeling of loss in the pit of his stomach whenever he says bye to Haru for the day, even if it’s just watching him go up the stone steps to his house.

It was never really anything to be concerned about in Iwatobi, because they always knew exactly when they’d see each other again, and it would always be soon. Just on the other side of the torii gate, the other side of the sunset, and sunrise.

Tokyo, on the other hand, is an open-ended vista of tomorrows and tomorrows and maybes, and when they say _goodbye_ Makoto’s never quite sure when the next _hello_ will be.

Rin’s words flash through his mind once more, words that have been seared in his memory for the past two weeks now.

 

//

 

 **Tachibana Makoto:** _…you’re not joking, are you.  
_ **Rin Matsuoka:** _i am as serious as sousuke when he gets into one of his INTENSE MOODS.  
_ **Rin Matsuoka:** _that’s pretty damn serious btw in case you don’t know  
_ **Tachibana Makoto:** _Hmm.  
_ **Rin Matsuoka:** _you love haru  
_ **Rin Matsuoka:** _though god knows why. he’s so weird  
_ **Tachibana Makoto:** _Well, he IS, but.  
_ **Tachibana Makoto:** _He wouldn’t be Haru, otherwise.  
_ **Rin Matsuoka:** _love is blind  
_ **Rin Matsuoka:** _i can’t believe i just typed such a sappy thing  
_ **Rin Matsuoka:** _you kids are crazy. i’m going to bed now. goodnight.  
_ **Tachibana Makoto:** _Goodnight, Rin. And… thank you._

 

//

 

A voice sounds then, through the train.

_”Doors closing. Please stand clear.”_

Makoto snaps back to the present.

The doors close, and Haru’s still standing next to him, looking up at the subway map above their heads.

“Ah - hey, Haru, you just missed your stop!”

“No, I didn’t,” says Haru, calmly.

“But we’ve passed - ”

Haru turns to fix him with a pointed look. “I’m going to your place.”

That shuts Makoto up in a hurry.

Haru doesn’t say anything else, but he drops one arm to his side, next to Makoto’s, and their fingers brush, lightly.

 

//

 

Makoto leans back against his bathroom wall. He stares at the ceiling. “This is kind of weird…”

“Nonsense,” says Haru, in a firm tone that will brook no argument.

“Well, you’re in the tub…”

“That’s not weird.”

Makoto concedes that that, in itself, is not in the least weird. But…

“You’re naked. In my tub,” he says, giving Haru a pointed look.

“People are usually naked when they bathe,” says Haru, with maddening nonchalance.

“And I’m sitting next to you. On a stool. In my bathroom. While you’re in the tub. _Naked_ ,” Makoto repeats. He can feel himself start to blush pink.

“Your tub is too small for both of us,” says Haru, as if that explains everything.

“We can’t, I don’t know… hang out in the living room? Instead of the bathroom?”

“I want to take a bath.”

Of course he does.

“Well, I could go prepare supper while you take a bath?”

Haru sinks down beneath the water so that only his eyes and the top of his head show, and he looks up at Makoto balefully. “You’d rather be cooking than be here?”

“I - ”

The words get tangled up in his throat, then, and Makoto can’t do anything but laugh. He shakes his head. “Haru, you know I would _never_ rather be cooking.”

“Then what’s the problem?” Haru ducks underwater in one swift movement.

Makoto feels a little less embarrassed to look straight at the tub now, with Haru completely out of sight, an indistinct blur in the watery blue.

He wants to say _I love you._ He tries mouthing the words under his breath, lips moving silently.

It’s not that it sounds unnatural. It sounds totally natural, and it feels almost predestined, that he would one day say these words to Haru, but he has a feeling that if he does say them out loud, Haru will just roll his eyes and tell him not to waste breath on things that he already knows.

And all this - whatever it is - is still new and uncharted territory. Of the solitary island that is _Nanase Haruka_ , Makoto knows the terrain by heart, knows every strange pathway and jagged bit of rock; but they’re not on land anymore, they’ve wandered hand in hand into the deep ocean. Here, in the open water, there are no signposts. There are strokes he has to relearn, eddies and currents he’s swept up in that he has to memorise anew.

_I love you. I love you._

Little bubbles rise to the surface of the water. Haru’s head pops up.

“Makoto.”

Haru shakes a few droplets out of his eyes, and looks straight at Makoto, in a way that makes pretty much every other thought fly out of Makoto’s head. The only one that remains is: _blue. so blue, those eyes._

“Yes, Haru?”

“I was thinking.”

Haru’s gaze is disarmingly direct.

“Do I tell people you’re my boyfriend, now?”

Makoto almost falls off his stool in shock. He has to grip the side of the tub to steady himself. “ _Huh?!_ ”

“Because. I never know what to tell people,” says Haru, evenly.

Makoto’s mind is scrambling to catch up to his racing heart, which is echoing in his ears, pounding so fast that he’s surprised Haru can’t hear it. Or maybe he can.

“ _Huh?_ ” says Makoto again, because he can’t seem to form any other words at that moment.

“People here. In Tokyo. Like my teammates and classmates. They ask me _who are you texting?_ and _who’s that boy who’s waiting for you?_ , and I don’t know what to say.”

“Oh. I usually go with ‘my friend’…?” says Makoto.

Haru makes an impatient noise. “You have so many friends. I have other friends too. They are not the same.”

The clownfish toy floating in the water bobs past Haru’s chest. He raises his fingers to give it a small flick.

“After I came here, I realised I don’t have a word to describe you. You’re just Makoto.”

Makoto smiles. Haru says his name like it should be a wholly self-contained, self-explanatory proper noun, like everyone should just understand what he means when he says _Makoto_.

“It’s bothersome to have to explain to all these new people.” Haru sounds mildly annoyed. “And ‘friend’ isn’t good enough.”

Makoto raises his eyebrows at Haru. “So would you prefer ‘boyfriend’?”

Saying the word out loud sends a small thrill up his spine.

He can see Haru mouthing it under his breath, gaze cast downwards at the water.

“I don’t know. It sounds a bit weird,” says Haru. “Does it sound weird to you?”

A small, wry smile spreads on Makoto’s face as he ponders Haru’s question.

“You know, Haru,” he says, “if this was a shoujo manga, this would be the part where the girl runs out of the room with tears in her eyes…”

Haru stares at him in confusion.

“…and she would be wailing something like _Haru, you idiot!_ … while you sit in the tub wondering what you’ve done wrong.”

“What manga have you been reading?” Haru sounds profoundly unimpressed.

“Erm. Kaoru’s.”

“Why are you reading Kaoru’s manga?”

“Because she lent it to me?”

Haru doesn’t say anything, just continues to fix him with that blank, impassive stare, eyebrows slightly raised.

Makoto feels overcome, all of a sudden, with an irrational need to defend his choice of literature. “It’s surprisingly addictive!” he protests, weakly.

“Sure,” says Haru, in a tone that suggests anything but surety.

Makoto laughs. “Anyway, well… it’s just that people don’t normally say it so bluntly. That they think it’s weird to be called ‘boyfriend’.”

Haru huffs out a small sigh. “You know what I mean. Also, I refuse to be in a shoujo manga. This is not a shoujo manga.”

It’s really not, thinks Makoto. If it was, he wouldn’t be sitting on a stool in his bathroom next to his naked best friend in the tub, like it’s just what they do on Saturday nights.

And he does know exactly what Haru means. It’s a little bit strange, to think of them as _dating_ , or _boyfriends_ , with all the connotations of naive teenage romance, when they’ve already spent their entire lives together.

This isn’t some doe-eyed puppy love or a heated summer fling. They’re not gazing longingly at each other from afar down the school corridors with cartoon hearts flying out their heads, giving chocolate on Valentine’s Day, having awkward confessions at the back of the school building. In short, there’s absolutely nothing about this that is anything like the love stories out there.

It’s just them, Makoto and Haru, at the end of the day. The same. But then again, not quite the same.

Makoto starts speaking again, thoughtfully. “Well, you know, Haru… we said things are going to change, right?”

Haru lowers himself into the water so his nose floats just above, enough for him to breathe, as he looks up at Makoto in patient silence.

“Being together like this isn’t the same as being best friends. I mean, it’s more than that,” Makoto continues. “So I think… maybe it _is_ a bit like dating. Getting to know someone differently. Right?”

Haru tilts his head to one side, a thoughtful look coming over his face as his eyes grow distant. His mouth eventually surfaces over the water.

“What do you need to know about me that you don’t already know?”

Makoto says the first thing that pops into his head, without thinking.

“Which side of the bed do you like to sleep on?”

Haru stares at him, then breaks out into a clear, tinkling peal of laughter, and after a few seconds, Makoto joins in.

 

//

 

They find out the answer, later.

“This is my side,” says Haru firmly, stretching himself out on the window side of Makoto’s bed.

“Why?” asks Makoto.

“I like being near the window. It’s cooler.”

Makoto remembers Haru’s room in Iwatobi. His bed’s next to the window there, too. Perhaps it reminds Haru a little bit of home.

A thought crosses Makoto’s mind, then. “Haru, did you come to my house instead of dragging me to yours because I have a double bed?”

Haru’s bed is a standard-issue single. Since his accommodation’s entirely arranged by his university, everything in his apartment is the same as every other student’s in the block.

“Obviously,” says Haru, like Makoto’s asking a stupid question.

Makoto doesn’t know whether to laugh or blush furiously, so he does both.

“Also, I can wear your clothes, but you can’t wear mine,” Haru adds. “My t-shirts are too small for you.”

Haru’s clearly thought this through in an alarming level of detail, thinks Makoto. He’s wearing Makoto’s old yellow and orange shirt, the one he’s always liked, and a spare pair of shorts that he left from the last time he stayed over after Nagisa and Rei’s visit. It was almost like he knew he’d be back again.

Makoto yawns as he crawls into what is now, apparently, officially his designated side of the bed. They lie next to each other in silence for a while.

“I had fun today,” says Makoto, softly.

“Mmm,” Haru murmurs.

Makoto hears the unspoken _me too_ , and smiles. He leans over his side of the bed to turn off the light on the table.

In the dark, Haru’s presence next to him feels so much more intimate.

Makoto counts the heartbeats in his chest. _One. Two. Three._

They’re faster than usual, definitely. There’s a hot flush coming over him that has nothing to do with the lingering heat from his bath. But he’s not nervous. He’s not anxious. His breathing is calm and steady.

If he’s with Haru, even if they’re exploring uncharted waters, there’s nothing to fear.

Makoto rolls over, looking into half-lidded blue eyes.

“Haru,” he whispers, as he reaches out towards him.

Haru responds by inching in slightly, and raising a hand to brush Makoto’s hair out of his eyes.

Haru’s movements are so assured, so certain, that Makoto feels clumsy in comparison. It’s just like the difference in their swimming styles. Haru always in control, Makoto always teetering on the edge, as he pushes forward with all his might.

Makoto wraps his arm round Haru and pulls him close, closer, till their foreheads touch, and their noses bump, and just as he feels that the warmth inside his chest might rise to fever pitch, Haru leans in.

His breath tickles Makoto gently on the cheek, and his lips are soft.

Makoto melts into the kiss, naturally and comfortably, like surrendering to the gentle pull of an ocean tide.

 

//

 

_beep beep beep_

Makoto blinks his eyes open sleepily.

Sunlight streams through his curtains. He hears the steady rise and fall of Haru’s breathing next to him.

_beep beep beep_

The annoying sound from somewhere in his room starts to register in Makoto’s drowsy mind. _That’s my alarm._

He glances up on the clock on his wall. It’s 7.30 in the morning.

_Why is my alarm going off at 7.30 on a Sunday morning?_

_beep beep beep_

Haru stirs. “What’s that noise?” he mumbles indistinctly into the pillow.

“Unngghhh… sorry, Haru,” says Makoto. “It’s my alarm. I must have forgotten to turn it off.”

He rolls out of bed and looks for his phone. It’s in the bottom of his backpack, where he tossed it yesterday morning while standing at Haru’s door, and the battery is at five percent. He’d completely forgotten to charge it at all after coming home, what with one thing and another…

He turns off his alarm, still wondering why it was on in the first place. Then a blinking notification light catches his attention.

It’s a message from Nagisa, sent last night.

_Don’t forget our date tomorrow Mako-chan!!! SEE YOU ONLINE IN THE MORNIIIIING_

“Ah!” Makoto cries.

Haru sits up, rubbing his eyes. “What is it?”

“We have a Skype call with the others in half an hour!”

That’s why his alarm was on, Makoto realises belatedly.

Haru sighs in exasperation. “Whose idea was it to have a call so early?”

“Rin’s busy this weekend. Remember? It’ll be ten o’clock for him by the time we call. Then he has something in the afternoon.”

“Timezones are stupid,” Haru grumbles.

“Come on, we have to get ready.”

Haru stretches. He gets out of bed, slowly. “I’ll make breakfast.”

 

//

 

In the span of time it takes Makoto to brush his teeth, wash his face, grab his laptop and set it up on the living room coffee table with Skype turned on, Haru’s already whipped up two small piles of pancakes.

“How do you _do_ that?” asks Makoto in disbelief.

Haru shrugs. “It’s just pancakes. Any normal person can do that.”

“I can’t do that…” says Makoto, chagrined.

Haru snorts disdainfully, and goes to the bathroom while Makoto washes up.

Makoto’s just in the middle of drying off the mixing bowl when his laptop starts ringing. He runs over, seeing Nagisa’s icon flash on the screen, and smiles as he clicks to accept the call.

“Nagisa! Good morning. You’re early!”

Nagisa’s face beams out of the Skype window at him. “Good morning, Mako-chan - wait, what is THAT?”

His eyes bug out at the webcam, staring at the spot just in front of Makoto.

Makoto looks down. “Uh, pancakes?”

“YOU MADE PANCAKES???”

Nagisa looks like he might keel over from shock.

Makoto laughs. “No, no, Haru made them.”

“Haru-chan came to your house so early to make pancakes?!”

“He stayed over last night.”

“Oh! That’s nice!”

Haru’s voice sounds suddenly, then, from behind him. “Makoto.”

Makoto turns to see Haru emerge from his bedroom shirtless, toothbrush still in his mouth.

A small squeak emits from his laptop speakers. _Uh oh,_ thinks Makoto.

Haru doesn’t seem to have noticed. “I’m going to borrow your light blue t-shirt to wear today,” he says. “Okay?”

Makoto nods, and Haru saunters back into his room.

“Mako-chan…”

Makoto turns back slowly to face Nagisa, who’s staring at him with a disarming grin on his face.

“Haru-chan stayed over last night, made pancakes for you, is walking around with no shirt on, _and_ he’s wearing your clothes?”

 _Help,_ thinks Makoto frantically. _I’m sunk._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back to real life after the beach sunset and all of the feels - and the aftermath is so much fun to write!
> 
> Next chapter: everyone joins in the party.
> 
> Thank you for reading! Your comments and encouragement make my day ♥
> 
> By the way: I've been posting a bunch of shorter ficlets in response to various prompts on [my Tumblr](http://themorninglark.tumblr.com). You can check them out too :)


	11. old things and new

Haru and Makoto haven't even been a thing for twenty-four hours, and already, Haru is learning new things about the person who’s been by his side his entire life.

Makoto mumbles in his sleep, really, really softly, so quiet that you'd only hear if you'd fallen asleep with your ear next to his mouth. He doesn’t say anything particularly coherent, just makes little sounds. Occasionally, Haru thinks he catches odd words like “pool” and “mackerel”, but he can’t be certain he isn’t just projecting onto Makoto (and on second thought, thinks Haru as he spits out a mouthful of toothpaste foam and looks at himself in the mirror, he probably is).

Makoto likes to sleep stretched out. Haru likes curling into a foetal position, clutching the blankets.

Makoto’s shoulder is all hard muscle and frankly not all that comfortable, but there’s a spot right near his collarbone that’s just nice for Haru’s head to rest upon.

Makoto's lips are rough and he likes using his tongue just a little bit.

Makoto kisses like he swims, throwing himself into it with all his heart.

Haru chalks all these things up in his head, one by one, as he opens Makoto's t-shirt drawer. There's a light blue one on top he doesn't recognise. It must be a new one, thinks Haru, one that Makoto bought in Tokyo by himself. It feels cottony and comfortable between his fingers.

Haru wanders out of Makoto's room, toothbrush still in his mouth. "Makoto."

Makoto is sitting at his laptop already. He turns around.

“I’m going to borrow your light blue t-shirt to wear today. Okay?”

Makoto nods.

Belatedly, Haru realises someone's already on the line. But he can't see past Makoto to the laptop screen, so he goes back to the bathroom, shrugging it off.

He rinses out his mouth, pulls on the selected light blue shirt (which _is_ as comfortable as it looks; he makes a mental note to wear it as much as he can), and walks back out to the living room to see Makoto waving him over frantically and mouthing _Help!_

“What?” asks Haru, as he approaches.

“Haru-chaaaan!”

It’s Nagisa. He’s still in bed, wearing his pajamas. Haru can see the pillow and bedsheets behind him.

Haru sits down next to Makoto and nods at the screen. “Hello, Nagisa.”

“Good timing! I was just - ah Rei-chan’s online! I’ll add him to the call!”

Makoto’s expression doesn’t change, but he’s typing something quickly onto an open window that only Haru can see.

_Nagisa’s on to us._

Haru turns to Makoto and raises an eyebrow slightly. He leans over to the keyboard.

_That was fast._

Another window blinks on then. Rei’s face appears on the screen. “Good morning, Haruka-senpai, Makoto-senpai. Are you having breakfast?”

“Haru made pancakes,” says Makoto pleasantly, as he types a response to Haru without missing a beat.

_What do we tell him?_

“I know food is super important, Rei-chan, but let’s focus here! Focus! This call is to…”

Nagisa pauses dramatically, and winks at the screen, to which Rei rolls his eyes.

“CELEBRATE HARU-CHAN’S LAST YEAR OF TEENHOOD!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY, HARU-CHAN!”

And in one perfectly coordinated, synchronised movement, Nagisa and Rei whip out party poppers and fire them at their respective screens, sending confetti all over the webcam. For a few seconds, Haru can’t see anything other than bits of glitter and colourful paper where their windows are.

 _One hundred percent Nagisa’s idea_ , thinks Haru.

“Thanks, Nagisa, Rei,” he says, smiling.

“Happy birthday, Haruka-senpai!” says Rei, sweeping confetti off his screen with a grin. “What are your plans? How are you celebrating?”

“Oooh, ooh, I have an idea, Haru-chan, you should check out this bakery that Rei-chan and I found last time we visited, the cream bread is so good - ”

“Haru can bake a better cake than any bakery!” Makoto says (quite rightly, thinks Haru).

“Mako-chan, no! You _cannot_ expect Haru-chan to bake his own birthday cake!” Nagisa sounds aghast.

“Nagisa-kun has a point,” says Rei, the slightest hint of admonition in his tone.

“Ah, well, uh… I guess you’re right, huh,” says Makoto, with a sheepish smile.

As the others talk, Haru types a reply to Makoto.

_We can tell him whatever. I don’t really mind._

Makoto doesn’t need to type any words for Haru to understand the long-suffering look he gets in response. That’s the look that means _Haru, you are being absolutely no help at all right now._ He gets it a lot.

“Hey, Mako-chan, why are you suddenly giving Haru-chan that look?” says Nagisa, then.

His smile is all innocent, but Haru knows better than to trust it.

Thankfully, Makoto is saved by Rin’s blinking icon. He’s downing a cup of coffee as his face appears on screen next to Rei’s and Nagisa’s.

“Sorry, guys,” he said. “I had to go kick my roommate off his MMO so that my connection is actually better than shit. He’s going to kill me later. Happy birthday, Haru, by the way.”

“BY THE WAY??” Nagisa repeats. “Rin-chan, your priorities are all wrong.”

“What? I said it, right?” Rin retorts.

“Anyway! So! Mako-chan!”

“Y-yes?” says Makoto, round a mouthful of pancake, looking at the screen almost fearfully.

“How are you celebrating Haru-chan’s birthday?” Nagisa asks, grinning.

“You can’t ask that, Nagisa-kun! What if it’s a surprise?” says Rei.

“Well, it was,” Haru says.

“Oh?” Rin puts down his coffee. “It’s already happened?”

Makoto puts down his fork. He starts typing. _I think it'd be nice to tell them._

Haru nods. “We went to a beach,” he says, out loud.

“Oi, Makoto. How the hell is that a surprise? Bringing this guy to the beach is like… I dunno, taking a puppy to a dog park. It’s like, duh. Come on, be more creative or something,” says Rin, making a face.

“It was a really nice beach. I liked it a lot,” says Haru firmly.

Makoto smiles. “Going to the beach is a bit of a treat here. It’s not like Iwatobi where it’s on your doorstep, you know?”

“Yeah… I never really thought of that,” says Nagisa.

Haru tucks into the pancakes as Makoto goes back to typing.

_Nagisa seems to suspect. And Rin_

Makoto pauses, mid-sentence. He doesn’t look at Haru, but Haru can see him thinking.

Rin’s filling the silence then, chatting with Rei and Nagisa about the shitty weather in Sydney right now and how he can’t go to any beaches even if he wanted to.

“But I spend all my time in the pool, so I guess it’s good not to spend my days off soaking in even more water,” he’s saying.

Makoto finishes typing his sentence. _Rin knows._

Haru’s grateful then he’s always had a good poker face, or Nagisa would be having a field day right about now.

He finishes his mouthful of pancake, slowly, then types a short message back.

_Tell them then. It’s ok._

(Grilling about this Rin thing can come later. He makes a mental note.)

Makoto doesn’t look at him. But his hand finds its way to Haru’s thigh under the table, and rests there.

Haru reaches down with his own free hand and gives Makoto’s a squeeze.

“Uh, guys, actually, we should tell you something,” says Makoto.

Rin’s small start and sudden intake of breath is probably unnoticed by anyone else, but Haru is watching him carefully, and he sees it.

“Well, actually, Nagisa.”

Nagisa is way too alert for this time of the morning. “Yes, Mako-chan?” he says, brightly.

“You were going to say something before the others showed up, remember? Well, um, yeah… it’s probably like what you think it is,” says Makoto.

 _Smooth_ , thinks Haru.

“Makoto. You’re just confusing them.”

“Excuse me, Haruka-senpai, Makoto-senpai, but going by everyone’s faces, I seem to be the only confused one here,” Rei cuts in, a little indignantly.

Haru turns to look at the screen, at Nagisa’s expectant grin, Rin’s knowing smirk, and Rei’s puzzled, furrowed brow, all three silent and waiting.

Makoto lets out a small sigh.

“Sorry, Rei. I’m not saying this very well. We’re, um. We’re… going out? Would you say it like that, Haru?”

“Mmm. That works,” Haru says with a nod.

Rin’s grin widens. “Well, finally, Makoto.”

Nagisa’s eyes fly so wide they fill his entire window. Rei is staring, mouth hanging slightly open.

Then, to Haru’s eternal surprise, Nagisa smiles, and sits back. He’s hugging his pillow close, and there’s a warmth in his gaze that seems to melt right through the screen.

“I thought this might happen,” he says, quietly.

“Nagisa-kun! Why didn’t you tell me!” Rei yelps.

“You… you did, Nagisa?” Makoto asks, looking surprised.

“Well, when Haru-chan said he was going to Tokyo, but he wasn’t following you, I _knew_!”

Rei frowns. “Nagisa-kun, that doesn’t seem very logical.”

“It’s totally logical, Rei-chan. Because… hmm.” Nagisa scrunches up his face in thought. “Because… Haru-chan was trying so hard to show us that he _didn’t_ care. About Mako-chan being there, or about Mako-chan starving to death…”

“Which I haven’t, by the way,” Makoto says, looking chagrined.

“…that the more he tried, the more it was obvious that he cared a lot about Mako-chan.”

Haru remembers that conversation. It was last summer, a year ago now.

He thinks again about how so much can change in a year, how afraid he’d been of change back then, that twisting feeling in his stomach at having to leave a place that he’d known all his life. He’d thought that a piece of that place had come with him to Tokyo, and because of that, things would be okay. Makoto had thought so too.

They were both right. And wrong.

Things are okay, thinks Haru, not because they both stayed the same, but because they both changed, together, at the same pace.

“Well, congratulations, Makoto-senpai, Haruka-senpai!”

Rei’s voice saying his name brings Haru back to the present moment.

“I’m really very happy for both of you.” Rei’s smile is filled with genuine joy. “You are a beautiful fit.”

“Sickeningly sweet, you mean,” says Rin. “Are you wearing Makoto’s t-shirt, Haru?”

Haru looks down at himself. “Yeah. You can tell?”

“It’s big on you. Wearing each other’s clothes already? Man, you guys…”

“I wore Makoto’s t-shirts even back in Iwatobi,” Haru says.

“That’s true, says Makoto thoughtfully. “Sometimes. When you stayed over. You used to say that my t-shirts are more comfortable to sleep in.”

“T-shirts that are loose and big _are_ more comfortable to sleep in. Everyone knows that.”

“And now I know the two of you were like an old married couple even before you actually _became_ a couple at all. I don’t know whether to roll my eyes or puke…”

“Rin-chan!” Nagisa cries. "You're so mean!"

A grin spreads over Rin’s face, and his gaze softens, looking out at them. “Or be just so damn happy for you guys I don’t know what else to say, I guess. I’m glad Makoto finally manned up and said something.”

Makoto smiles a bit sheepishly. “Actually, I think Haru sort of made the first move.”

“I did,” says Haru.

“Seriously?” Rin sighs. "Makoto! You are the  _worst_."

“Rin-chan, don’t tease Mako-chan like that! He’s so shy! It’s a miracle that he even said yes to Haru-chan without totally embarrassing himself!”

Makoto’s expression is pained. “Nagisa…”

Haru laughs, then, and everyone turns to look at him with smiles on their faces, Makoto’s the warmest of all.

 

//

 

_“Maybe it is a bit like dating. Getting to know someone differently. Right?”_

As their days together turn into weeks, and then months, Haru learns just what Makoto meant by those words.

He has no time to read novels or watch TV, nor does he particularly enjoy romantic comedy movies, so his conception of a relationship is pretty much a blank slate of whatever happens, happens.

Haru learns that _When Harry Met Sally_ is one of Makoto’s favourite movies, despite it being in English. He borrows the DVD and watches it at home by himself on a night when Makoto’s busy with other friends. It’s about two people who hate each other at first, slowly grow to like each other, and fall in love at the end.

Haru wonders if that’s their story. But he can’t remember a time he hated Makoto. Also, he thinks, as he pops the disc out of his computer and puts it back into its case, the reason romantic comedies annoy him so much is because falling in love is not the end of a story, it’s the beginning. And they never show what happens next.

What happens next is that Haru and Makoto have a whole new world to navigate together, and it’s breathtaking, but it’s full of unexpected turns and sometimes there are wild waves and changing currents, and Haru very quickly realises that Makoto was right: it’s not really the same as just being best friends.

In a way, it is, but in a way, it isn’t.

They keep some traditions, like Makoto pulling Haru out of the tub in the morning.

They add some, like Haru sometimes pulling right back, tipping Makoto down for a kiss till he nearly falls into the tub himself.

Makoto starts keeping clothes and a spare toothbrush at Haru’s place, though he doesn’t stay over much, because Haru’s bed is smaller and his building's a little stricter on having guests stay the night.

Makoto returns to Iwatobi for summer break, and that’s the first time they hug, _really_ hug. They’ve had quick pecks on the cheek and light hand-squeezes whenever they part for the night, or the day, but this is different; this is Makoto holding him like he never wants to let go, this is Haru burying his head in Makoto’s chest as his arms tighten round him, memorising the way he feels in his embrace, feeling everything around them come to a standstill as the world stops moving in their little cocoon.

Haru chalks another milestone up in his mind as he waves Makoto through the gates. _First hug._

Haru spends the whole of summer training in Tokyo and watching the Olympics every day with his team. Their coach makes them gather round the TV and study all the swimming matches. Haru watches so many replays he sees them in his dreams when he sleeps.

At night, he talks on the phone with Makoto, and they discuss the swimming some more.

“In four years time, that’ll be you, Haru,” says Makoto, with a gentle, glowing pride.

Haru can’t quite imagine it himself, though he knows that is supposed to be the plan. He thinks of himself in London, with Rin next to him on the starting blocks, and he can't deny the small thrill that runs through him.

Makoto tells his parents about them. They are delighted that they can actually call Haru their son now since he’s been as good as one for years; they make Makoto ring him immediately so that they can welcome Haru to the family over the phone themselves, and Haru gets so choked up he almost has to hang up abruptly on them.

Makoto comes back to Tokyo with two matching hand-knitted sweaters made by Makoto’s mother for the both of them.

As autumn rolls round, they try to meet up more often, though the reality of student life - and mostly, the reality of elite athlete life - is such that they can’t really meet up that much more than they already were anyway.

They do text and call each other a lot more. Haru comes to expect a text from Makoto every day around mid-morning, usually skipping the  _Good morning!_ and going straight into _Hey Haru, I found this cat in school that looks just like the white one at home! **-Attached Picture: 203kb-**_ **,** or _Naoki just bought a new hat that makes him look like a pufferfish. I think you would look cute in it ^__^_

Makoto always finds something new about his day to share with Haru, no matter how banal it is.

Sometimes the text doesn’t come, and Haru feels a little pang in his heart, though he knows that all it means is Makoto is busy.

Of all the things that Haru learns, as together, they make their way and chart their path from Makoto and Haruka to _Makoto and Haruka_ , what surprises him the most is that he learns as much about himself as he does about Makoto.

Haru learns that he likes being the big spoon, because Makoto’s back is so broad and comforting to lean on as he falls asleep. It makes him feel safe.

Haru learns that although he would never have made friends with people like Naoki and Kaoru on his own, they’re not that bad after all, and he doesn’t mind hanging out with them now and then.

Haru learns from Ikeda that he has a stupid smile on his face whenever he’s texting Makoto, and he tries his damnedest to get rid of it, but sometimes he catches sight of himself in the locker mirror and realises he’s failing.

Haru learns that there’s a part of him that likes holding on to Makoto’s hand in public.

Haru learns he can be a bit needy at times, a bit clingy, and frankly, it scares him.

Most of all, Haru learns that he wants to find out about everything, everything Makoto is interested in, so that he can be a bigger part of his life, and it’s when he picks up Kaoru’s shoujo manga from Makoto’s desk and actually flips it open that he realises he’s pretty far gone.

 _So this is what it’s like to be in love_ , thinks Haru, with a small smile. _It makes you stupid, huh?_

But he doesn’t put the manga down, and when Makoto emerges from his bathroom, towelling dry his hair, he’s greeted by the sight of Haru curled up under a blanket on his bed, nose deep in the book.

Makoto bursts out laughing. “Haru!”

“Shut up,” Haru mutters.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One of my favourite writers once told me that the best stories don't just end at the climax, when the goal is achieved. The best stories show what comes after, what happens to the hero(es) once the journey has reached its destination. Do they find another purpose to work towards? How do they deal with their success? _What happens to the rest of their lives?_
> 
> This was in my mind from the beginning of this fic - that I didn't want to end it with them getting together (as I do in a number of my short one-shots). I wanted to delve into all this. How they negotiate the newness of things, how they adapt. I think it's important (and not acknowledged enough!) that best friends getting together is not just a continuation of the best-friend relationship. Things do change and the people need to change together.
> 
> Now that I've reached this point, the story will probably wrap up soon :) 
> 
> Next chapter: Reigisa returns!
> 
> Also! The mention of the Olympics dates this story, for the first time I think? It's set in 2008, in my mind. I speculate about it a bit in [this post](http://themorninglark.tumblr.com/post/100193387145/speculation-on-the-timeframe-of-free-es). I'm not an accuracy expert though, so if there are any little details in the show that would actually negate my timeframe, just... close one eye for me, ok? xD


	12. your true feelings

Haru doesn’t say much on the ride home from the airport. Makoto watches him with a small, knowing smile on his face, as Haru stares out of the window at the streets of Iwatobi, passing them by.

“It’s strange, right?” says Makoto. “To come back for the first time.”

Haru turns in surprise, and nods.

“I felt it too,” says Makoto. “I noticed when things looked different from what I remembered. Like that shop over there… the door used to be blue, and now it’s red. And I think that stop sign is new. They’ve repaired that bit of the bridge, so the pillar doesn’t look like it’s crumbling any more.”

All these little changes, dissonant, subtly shifting from the landscape that he’d fixed in his mind. That was then. Time stops for no one.

“Yeah…” says Haru. He turns to look back out of the window, pensive.

Makoto follows his gaze, watching their hometown scenery for a while.

The Christmas illumination in Iwatobi is nothing compared to Tokyo’s. But it’s comforting, for Makoto: the imperfect, endearing simplicity of homemade streamers and wreaths, the tiny trees in shopfronts with the cutout felt decorations, little origami cranes and strings of cards hanging in the window.

They pass by the SC then, and Makoto sees that Coach Sasabe has put up the same flashing fairy lights he always does every year, tacky and bright and at least ten years out of fashion.

“He still has those lights?” Haru murmurs, next to him.

From the front of the car, Makoto hears his mother’s warm laugh.

“It’s his way of welcoming you home, Haruka-kun,” she says, turning round to give him a smile.

 

//

 

“Coach Sasabe says the pool isn’t open till noon tomorrow. I’ll have to go then.”

Of all things, thinks Makoto, he had to go fall in love with a pro swimmer. Although it’s not like he ever really had a choice in the matter.

Haru gives him an odd look, twisting round in his arms to face him. “Makoto. Are you sure you’re okay with it?”

It’s Christmas Eve, and they’re sitting in Makoto’s bed. Haru is staying with the Tachibanas over the break, since all his stuff is in storage and they figure it’s not worth dragging everything out just for less than two weeks.

Outside, a snowflake drifts down, slowly. Haru pulls the blankets up tighter round the two of them.

“You have to, right?” says Makoto.

Haru doesn’t say anything. There’s a brief silence before Makoto speaks again.

“And I guess since you haven’t been near water in over twenty-four hours, you must be getting pretty restless,” he adds. He laughs, and kisses Haru on the temple.

Haru sighs. “Makoto. You’re not answering my question.”

 _I’m not, am I?_ Makoto thinks.

“I can’t… well, Haru, how can I _not_ be okay with it? You’re a swimmer. It’s what you do. You need to train. You need to call your coach and report your times and everything. Even if it’s Christmas Day. I'm studying to be a swimming coach... I'm the last person who should tell you that training _isn't_ important,” says Makoto.

He smiles then, a small, helpless smile.

“It’s not like Christmas is all that special, anyway, right? We’ve had so many Christmases before now when we didn’t really do anything…”

Haru extricates himself from Makoto’s embrace, and pulls away. He sits up straight, fixing Makoto with a determined gaze.

“Makoto, listen to me,” he says.

The look on his face is so serious that Makoto feels the smile fade right off his lips, and his heart clenches, a little.

“I know what you’re thinking. Most of the time. But most is not _all_.”

Makoto stares at Haru, mystified.

Haru makes an impatient _tch_ noise. “So you have to be honest. Just say what you’re thinking, Makoto.”

“Haru…” Makoto starts, then trails off, unsure how to continue. “I…”

Words fail him. The room seems to get colder, chillier by the second.

Haru exhales slowly and pulls his knees up to his chest to hug them. He leans back against the headboard, casting Makoto a sideways glance. “It wouldn’t matter so much, you know, if we’re just best friends? But - if we’re going to be more than that - then, Makoto, _talk_ to me. I need to know what your true feelings are.”

Haru pauses. His gaze on Makoto doesn't waver. “You taught me that,” he adds, in a low, quiet murmur.

It’s barely audible, but Haru's words ring loud and clear to Makoto.

“There was a time I didn’t want to talk to anyone," says Haru. "When I pushed everyone away. Remember?”

“How could I forget?” Makoto says softly.

“I don’t ever want something like that to happen again.”

Haru’s fierce whisper seems to echo round the room, and linger in the cold winter air, frozen, suspended in time.

Makoto sighs, and the whisper melts a little.

“But this is such a small thing.”

“Everything starts from small things,” says Haru.

“Well, there’s nothing we can do about it, right? You need to train, and I need to go to Nara.”

Nara is a three hour drive from Iwatobi. It’s going to be a whole family roadtrip for the day, and the twins have been so excited about it for so long that they’re practically bouncing off the walls. They've packed a bag full of snacks for the car, picked out their roadtrip music, and marked out all the fun stuff on the map, mostly deer and more deer.

Haru hugs his knees closer, looking at Makoto with a quiet, steady gaze. His face is half-buried in the blankets, so all Makoto can see is those deep blue eyes, like the ocean.

He thinks about how the ocean used to be a frightening place, but with his friends, with Haru, it’s not so bad anymore.

“I guess I am a little bit sad,” says Makoto, wistfully. “That we won’t get to spend our first Christmas Day together.”

Haru nods. He reaches under the blankets for Makoto’s hand. “Was that so hard to say?”

Makoto laces their fingers together. Haru’s hand is colder than his. He rubs it between his palms gently.

“Surprisingly, it was.” Makoto smiles.

“I’m glad you said it,” says Haru.

“Well, I’m glad you’re glad… but, Haru, what does it matter? Even if I’m sad about it, we can’t change it.”

Haru looks at him intently. “If you can’t tell me when you’re sad even about small things like this, then how will I know your true feelings about big things? Things that are important, that actually matter, if - ”

Haru pauses, then, and for a second Makoto thinks he’s going to look away awkwardly. But instead, he edges closer and wraps his arms round Makoto.

Makoto is startled to find himself being enfolded into a hug, his head resting on Haru’s shoulder, Haru’s head resting on top of his. He can feel Haru’s breath tickling his ear.

Makoto has never been in this position before. Their heights just make it more natural for Haru to be the one on his shoulder, or his chest. Makoto’s used to being the one with the arm round Haru, protectively.

The moment of surprise passes, and suddenly, Makoto feels like this is the most natural thing in the world.

_From the beginning, it was never me taking care of Haru. Haru has always taken care of me. Then. Now._

He puts his arms round Haru’s waist and curls up, shifting in closer.

“If - if this is going to work. You and I,” Haru finishes, whispering softly.

 

//

 

“Ah, there are so many people here! It’s wonderful!”

Nagisa breaks away and runs up the path in front of them to the temple. His blond head bobs through the crowd so quickly Haru almost loses sight of him.

“Nagisa-kun! Don’t go off on your own like that!” Rei calls out, running after him.

“Why did we have to come here on New Year’s Eve?” Haru mumbles, as he and Makoto speed up their pace to catch up with the other two.

“It’s traditional, isn’t it?” says Makoto, smiling.

“Yeah, but there are so many people here.”

They don’t usually come to the temple on New Year’s Eve, for that exact reason. Haru hates crowds, and Makoto’s not big on them either, so more often than not, they end up spending a peaceful, quiet night with the others at Haru’s house with plenty of mackerel on his homemade toshikoshi-soba.

But this year, the night before, Nagisa had sent them all a very excitable text message full of emoji, insisting that they simply _had_ to go do the traditional thing this year while Mako-chan and Haru-chan were around, and really, there was no way that Makoto could say no to that.

As they blend into the crowd behind Rei and Nagisa, Makoto reaches for Haru’s hand and bends down to give him a quick peck on the cheek. The sound of laughter makes him look up, just in time to see the look of exasperation on Rei’s face dissolve into a fond smile at something Nagisa just said.

Haru follows his gaze. “Do you think Nagisa ever talked to Rei?” he asks.

“Hmm… after that time, huh?”

Nagisa turns around and waves at them. “Come on, Haru-chan, Mako-chan, it’s almost midnight!”

“Well, that’s something only they know,” says Makoto quietly. “But… I hope he did.”

They walk on for a while in silence, making their way through the buzzing throng of people. Haru’s hand is clasped tight in his. Makoto feels the gentle pressure of his fingers through the gloves that Haru gave him for his birthday, a simple, classic pair in tan leather to replace the old ones with the holes in the thumbs.

“You’ve been wearing them since we were kids. Throw them out,” is all Haru had said, when he handed him his present, and Makoto had laughed and done just so.

They’re at the front of the shrine now. Makoto looks at his watch. Two minutes to midnight.

“This atmosphere is really the best, isn’t it?” says Nagisa, looking up at Haru with a cheerful grin.

“It’s not. There are too many people,” Haru says flatly.

“Awww, Haru-chan! You live in Tokyo now! You should be used to people!”

“I’m used to it, but that doesn’t mean I like it,” Haru points out.

Makoto laughs, and squeezes his hand tighter.

"Also, it's too cold for Makoto," Haru adds.

"Hey! Why is it suddenly about me?"

"You're always the one getting cold easily. Wearing extra scarves and jackets, hogging the blankets…"

" _Haru_!" Makoto cries indignantly. "I only wear extra scarves and jackets because you refuse to wear enough, and then you always catch a cold - here, wear this - "

In one swift motion, Makoto removes a scarf from round his neck and wraps it snugly round Haru’s, making sure to tie it extra securely in a complicated knot so that Haru can’t take it off even if he wants to.

Haru tries to scowl at him, but it turns into a grudging smile.

"Makoto-senpai is right, Haruka-senpai, you need to take care of your body now that you are a pro athlete!" Rei declares. "I - "

"I can lend you all my books about conditioning and physical health and boring stuff like that!” Nagisa cuts in, pushing an imaginary pair of glasses up his nose in a perfect imitation of Rei.

Rei gives him a long-suffering look. “Nagisa-kun…”

Nagisa smiles back brightly, but for a split second, Makoto sees -

What _does_ he see? Was it just a trick of the light?

Makoto blinks, and the smile is right back there on Nagisa’s face, as though it had never slipped.

Just then, the bells sound, solemn and sonorous in the wide temple courtyard. Each gong sounds like a door closing, each peal like another opening.

Makoto’s arm slides round Haru’s shoulders. Haru leans closer, nestling his head into the crook of Makoto’s neck.

“Happy New Year, Haru.” says Makoto.

“Happy New Year, Makoto.”

Makoto tilts his head down to kiss Haru’s forehead lightly, but Haru’s face turns at that exact moment, and their lips meet instead.

 

//

 

“Ahhh, why did I have to get such a lousy fortune…”

Nagisa’s in an unusual slump as they leave the temple, after tying his fortune paper to a tree.

“Well, a half-curse means… a half-blessing?” says Makoto, trying to sound optimistic.

“Then why didn’t I just get the half-blessing one?” Nagisa wails.

“A-ah, I know, let’s get rice wine for everyone!” says Rei, eyeing his dejected friend with concern.

“You can’t carry four cups on your own, Rei. I’ll go with you,” Haru says. He turns to Makoto. “Wait here.”

As Haru and Rei head back into the temple grounds, Makoto can tell that something is definitely up with Nagisa, from the fact that he doesn’t immediately go bounding after them and insist on coming along too.

Nagisa’s staring into space, his hands clasped behind his back. They’re standing just below the steps of the temple gates. Beyond them, Makoto can hear the crashing of the ocean waves.

“Nagisa,” says Makoto. “What’s going on?”

Nagisa’s head snaps round. He looks at him, wide-eyed. “Mako-chan…”

He doesn’t ask how Makoto can tell. Makoto has always known, with Nagisa.

“I… well, I’m not supposed to tell you.”

 _Now_ Makoto’s puzzled. He wonders if that's all he's going to get out of Nagisa tonight, but Nagisa starts talking again, then.

“Rei-chan said he wanted to tell you himself, but - _oh_ , Mako-chan! Rei-chan, he, he - ”

Nagisa’s eyes are dry, but there’s a small hitch in his breath and his voice cracks, ever so slightly. 

“You know I told you and Haru-chan, I’m going to the university here, right?”

Makoto nods. “Mmm-hmm.”

“Well, Rei-chan…”

Rei still hasn’t told them anything about university, Makoto realises with a start. If it's Rei, he's definitely going to a good university, maybe even on a scholarship. But why hasn't he said anything before now, then?

“Oh, I can’t stand it anymore, Rei-chan wanted to find a good moment to tell you and Haru-chan in person, but… but I _have_ to tell someone or I’m going to explode!”

Nagisa’s hands are balled up into little fists as he looks at Makoto, his face anguished.

“Rei-chan’s going to a university in England.”

“E-E- _England_?!”

Makoto can barely choke out the word. His head reels. But all his instincts take over then, once his mind shuts down, and he reaches out to pull Nagisa into a tight, tight hug.

The tears start to come to Nagisa’s eyes.

“I thought Rei-chan might go to Tokyo, you know? Because he’s so smart, he can _definitely_ get into a good university there! I didn’t expect him to stay here, but…”

Nagisa’s words flow out like a torrent now, between sniffles and tiny, incoherent cries, as he grips Makoto’s jacket.

“But I didn’t think he would go to _England_! Mako-chan, I can’t - I can’t stand the thought of Rei-chan going away, so far away - ”

Footsteps sound behind them then, and stop abruptly.

Makoto’s head whirls round. Rei’s standing there, two cups of rice wine in his trembling hands. He looks stricken.

“Nagisa-kun - ” he starts, taking a step towards Nagisa.

Nagisa stares up at Rei, frozen for a split second, then wrenches himself out of Makoto’s arms and takes off running.

“Nagisa-kun!” Rei shouts, frantically, as his feet start to move as well. A drop of rice wine spills on the ground.

“I’ll go after him,” Makoto says. “Don’t worry, Rei.”

He looks at Haru, hovering just behind Rei, silently.

_Take care of Rei._

Haru nods. _Leave it to me._

Makoto turns, and runs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've always thought it would be realistic for Rei to spread his wings further, like Rin. To see how far he can go - he has the potential, and the drive.
> 
> The next chapter will probably be the last one, followed by an epilogue. (Which may or may not turn out to be as long as a regular chapter, depending on how long-winded I am while writing it!)
> 
> This chapter's been emotional. Thank you for reading, as always! I love you all ♥
> 
> Comments make my day! :)
> 
> By the way, deer in Nara are actually evil, and will attack you mercilessly if you have food. Don't be deceived by their Bambi-like adorable looks.


	13. worth it

“So,” Haru says. “England?”

“Yeah.” Rei nods.

They’re where Haru always ends up when he doesn’t know where else to go, when there’s need of solace. The steady, rhythmic crash of waves lapping at the rocks fills the silence between him and Rei.

They stand side by side, gazing out at the surface of the moonlit water. Rei’s fingers tighten on the railing. He shivers, and inhales deeply.

“Drink the rice wine. It’ll warm you up,” says Haru.

“Ah, I’ve finished mine…”

“Drink Nagisa’s, I mean.” Haru nods at the other cup, sitting on the ledge beside Rei.

Rei flinches.

“We can always buy him another cup. Don’t let this one get cold and go to waste. Makoto might take a while to calm him down.”

"I… I'm a terrible friend," Rei says, sounding like he’s going to cry.

"Don't talk nonsense. Drink," Haru orders.

Rei picks up the cup, almost mechanically, and takes a tiny sip. He sighs as he puts it back down.

“Haruka-senpai, I - I’m sorry.”

Haru glances at him. “For what?”

“For not telling you and Makoto-senpai earlier, about this…”

“It’s okay,” says Haru. “You wanted to tell us in your own time, right?”

Rei nods. “I just couldn’t find the right time, before. I didn’t want to tell you on the phone or in a text message. I was offered a scholarship to a university there. To study biomechanics.”

“Rei… you’re chasing a dream too, aren’t you?”

“Yeah.” A small smile crosses Rei's face, fleetingly. “I want to learn more and more about the science of the body. I’ll never be a pro swimmer like you, Haruka-senpai, and I don’t think I’m suited to be a coach like Makoto-senpai, but I love the theory, and I think there’s a lot I can learn in this field.”

“You’ll do well,” says Haru, smiling back at Rei. "Maybe one day you'll write books on it, too."

Rei's smile widens. "You think so, Haruka-senpai?"

"I'm sure," says Haru.

Rei's voice turns a shade wistful then, as he looks out towards the horizon, “Also, I - I was inspired by you, Haruka-senpai. You and Rin-san. I want to see the world.”

Haru nods. He can understand that.

“But I think… I think Nagisa-kun just sees it as me leaving him behind," says Rei, softly.

"Well, are you?" Haru asks.

Rei's whole body jerks, and he whirls around on Haru so quickly that he almost knocks his cup off the ledge. " _Haruka-senpai!_ I would never - !"

"Then you have nothing to worry about, right?"

Rei stops, abruptly, staring at Haru.

"Nagisa will understand, in the end. He's stronger than he looks," says Haru.

Rei hesitates before speaking again. "Haruka-senpai, can I ask you…"

He pauses awkwardly, voice catching in his throat.

"Can I ask… how did you feel? When Makoto-senpai told you he was going to Tokyo?"

Haru feels his heart skip a beat, and clench in his chest.

He doesn't say anything for a while. His fingers tighten round the cup of rice wine he'd bought for Makoto. It’s cooling fast.

"Ah, I'm sorry," says Rei, hurriedly. "It’s too personal."

"No, it's all right," says Haru. "I felt like… like I was losing something very important to me. I felt abandoned."

Rei's shoulders slump. "Do you think Nagisa-kun feels the same way?"

It's probably worse for Nagisa, thinks Haru. At least Makoto chose somewhere in this country. Unless some academic miracle happens, there's no way that Nagisa can go where Rei is going.

But hearing any of this won't help Rei, so all Haru says is, "Perhaps."

A defeated expression comes over Rei's face, and he casts his gaze downwards.

"But…" Haru starts again, and Rei looks up.

"I think that was also when I started to realise. What Makoto really means to me. When I had to face the thought that he was going somewhere far away."

"Y-you think Nagisa-kun feels that way as well?" Rei asks, getting flustered. It’s dark, and Haru can’t see Rei’s face clearly, but he can hear the creeping blush in his words.

"It took me a long time to understand what I was feeling," says Haru.

"Oh…" Rei says, uncertainly.

"But Nagisa isn't me." A small smile leaks out on the corners of Haru's lips. "Nagisa's a lot smarter than me at these things. And Nagisa might not take so long."

Rei is speechless, for a moment, as the stricken look returns to his face.

Then he exhales, breath coming out in a white puff that dissipates over the sea. He leans over the railing. The breeze blows his hair back from his face, and Haru catches a glimpse of something shimmering in his eye, behind the glasses.

"Haruka-senpai, how do you _know_?"

"Huh?" Haru asks blankly.

"How do you know _for sure_ about things like these? About… about what you feel for someone else? About whether it's really something that will work out, in the end?"

Rei's question is so earnest, so open, but at the same time, there's a tone of something achingly helpless and desperate in it, like a lone wanderer grasping in the dark.

"You can't," says Haru.

Rei turns to look at him, eyes wide with surprise.

"You can't," Haru repeats. "No one can know something like that for sure."

"Then…" Rei starts, and trails off, voice wavering. “You mean, with Makoto-senpai… Even with someone like him, Haruka-senpai, you…”

"Rei," Haru says. "I've spent my whole life with Makoto. But that’s our past. I can’t predict the future. No one can.”

He smiles wryly. “If you told me two years ago that we would be together, living in Tokyo, I think I wouldn’t have believed you.”

“It’s just so hard to understand,” says Rei, almost more to himself than to Haru. His brows are furrowed in frustration. “There are too many variables, and if you don’t know anything with certainty, how do you… how do you even _know_ what to do about anything?”

 _You can’t,_ thinks Haru. _Every minute is a wild guess that you take together. But it’s better together than apart._

“It’s not a math equation,” he says, out loud.

“I know!” Rei wails faintly. “That’s why it’s so difficult, and now you’re telling me that even _you_ weren’t sure about Makoto-senpai, and you’re the most beautiful couple I know, how can I hope to - ”

“Rei,” Haru interrupts him.

Rei looks up at him, a pained expression on his face.

“It’s impossible to know for sure if something will work out. But what I know is, if it’s Makoto, then it’s worth it for us to at least try.”

Haru takes a deep breath, turning his gaze out towards the sea. He thinks about the beach that Makoto brought him to for his birthday, remembers the sunset there, and the feel of Makoto’s arm coming round him for the first time. It makes him feel that much warmer in this winter chill.

“That’s what we’re both doing. We’re trying our best. We learn new things about each other all the time. There are surprises. Not all of them are good. But all of them have been worth it, because it’s Makoto.”

Haru turns to look straight at Rei then. “That’s what you have to decide for yourself. If the other person is worth trying for.”

“Haruka-senpai…”

To Haru’s surprise, a warm smile spreads over Rei’s face.

“You’ve really grown in Tokyo,” says Rei.

Haru starts, then a small laugh escapes from him.

“I guess Rin was right.”

“Rin-san?” Rei repeats.

“Rin told Makoto that going somewhere new changes you.”

Just then, Haru feels his phone buzz, at the same time that a small beep sounds from Rei’s pocket.

Haru reaches for his phone and flips it open. He smiles. “Speak of the devil.”

It’s a picture of Rin and Sousuke at the Sydney Harbour Bridge. Fireworks light up the sky behind them, and they both have huge grins on their faces, Rin’s fingers making the V-sign, Sousuke’s arm slung round him.

_Happy New Year from Australia! You guys are missing out on this AWESOME weather. Next year, get your asses here._

Haru types a short reply. _it’s past 2am. go to sleep._

He looks at his message for a while, then adds: _happy new year, Rin._

Really, he thinks, Rin is so sentimental. He probably stayed up just to send them that picture once it became midnight in their timezone.

“Rin-san seems so happy,” says Rei, smiling down at his phone.

Haru looks up at him. “You can be happy too.”

“Huh?” Rei asks.

“Yamazaki and Rin. They’re in different countries, but look at them in this picture.”

Rei stares at the photo, and his smile softens.

“If the other person is worth it, you can always find a way to try,” says Haru. “Even if you’re separated.”

Just as he starts to put his phone back into his pocket, it rings.

 _If this is Rin, I’m going to hang up on him,_ thinks Haru as he flips it open, but it’s Makoto. He answers. “Makoto.”

Rei’s eyes widen at hearing Makoto’s name. “Is Nagisa-kun okay?” he mouths frantically.

“Haru! Where are you? Are you with Rei?”

“Yes,” says Haru. “We’re by the sea. I think he’s feeling better.”

“Oh, that’s good. Nagisa has calmed down, but it’s too late for the last train, so I’m bringing him back to stay with us for the night, okay?“

“Okay. Hang on.”

Haru turns to Rei. “You’ve missed the last train. Do you want to stay with me and Makoto for the night?”

Rei starts stammering. “I-I-I don’t know if - wouldn’t I be intruding?”

“Don’t be ridiculous.”

Haru brings his phone back to his ear. “Makoto. Is it okay if Rei stays too?”

“Eh? Haru… ah - hang on, Nagisa, I just have to talk to Haru in private for a while - ”

Haru can faintly hear Nagisa’s teasing sing-song in the background. “Are you having a _lovey dovey couple chat_ , Mako-chan?”

Well, at least Nagisa seems better, thinks Haru.

After a while, Makoto’s voice sounds again. “Are you sure it’s okay? With Nagisa here as well? Will it be awkward for the two of them?”

“You want to let Rei run home in the cold by himself?” Haru asks.

“No, we really can’t,” says Makoto, with a small sigh.

“It’s okay, Haruka-senpai, I don’t mind!” says Rei quickly.

“I heard that,” says Makoto. “Tell Rei don’t be ridiculous.”

“I already told him that just now,” Haru says.

“I guess it can’t be helped. We’ll see how it is when we get back.”

Haru nods. “Mmm. See you soon.”

 

//

 

Nagisa is dead silent when he catches sight of Rei on Makoto’s doorstep. He looks at him, face flushed, hands clasped awkwardly in front of him with fidgeting fingers. He can’t quite meet Rei’s gaze directly, and his eyes keep flicking away, up and down and up again.

“Nagisa-kun,” whispers Rei.

He steps into Makoto’s house. Haru follows him, and exchanges a glance with Makoto, who’s hovering in the corridor behind Nagisa.

_You ok?_

Makoto nods. _You?_

Haru inclines his head slightly in reply.

Rei takes a tentative step forward towards Nagisa. “Nagisa-kun, I…”

“I’m so sorry, Rei-chan,” Nagisa says, then, suddenly.

He takes a deep, shuddering breath, and looks straight up at Rei with a plaintive, earnest gaze. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry I ran off like that, and made you worry, and - ”

Rei doesn’t say anything more. A resolute look comes over his face as he closes the distance between himself and Nagisa, and wraps the smaller boy in a fierce, tight hug.

Nagisa seems to melt against Rei’s chest, leaning in close and burying his face into the folds of his jacket.

A warm, relieved smile spreads across Makoto’s face, as he looks on at the two of them. It makes Haru smile too.

He gestures up the stairs to Makoto, and jerks his head slightly to the side. _Twins’ room,_ he mouths.

Makoto understands what he means immediately, giving Haru a small nod as he turns to go upstairs.

“We’ll roll out the futon for us in the twins’ room tonight. You can have Makoto’s,” says Haru softly to Rei and Nagisa, as he takes off his jacket and hangs it on the wall.

Nagisa’s head turns, just enough for Haru to see his eyes peeping out from beneath Rei’s arms. “Haru-chan…”

Haru smiles gently at Nagisa, and follows Makoto up the stairs.

 

//

 

“Seriously, Haru, let’s take the train next time…”

Haru snaps his book shut and glares at Makoto. “No.”

Every time, without fail, they have this conversation on the plane. It’s almost become a traditional part of their journeys to and fro.

Haru can’t help smiling to himself. _Another new tradition for us, hmm?_

“I took the train in summer, and it was so much better! Six hours flies by, I promise!” says Makoto, in his most pleading tone.

“No,” says Haru again, firmly.

“Haru-chan, you’re so cold.” Makoto nestles his head in Haru’s shoulder.

“Don’t call me -chan.”

Makoto laughs, and it warms Haru’s heart to hear him sounding just a little bit happier, stuck here on this plane.

“At least we don’t have to fly back to send Nagisa off anywhere,” Haru points out.

“That’s true.”

Makoto’s gaze turns pensive, then.

“I wonder if he’ll be okay there on his own?”

“He’ll be fine,” says Haru.

“It’s going to be hard for him and Rei, being separated…”

Haru looks at Makoto thoughtfully. “Makoto, do you think… what do you think would have happened with us? If I went somewhere else, and you went to Tokyo. What if I had gone with Rin to Australia?”

Makoto looks taken aback for a moment. He leans back in his seat, and gazes into space. “Mmm…”

Haru reaches for his hand on the armrest. The hum of the plane engines sounds louder than ever in this silence.

There's something different in Makoto's tone, when he finally speaks. “You know, Haru, I never told you this before, but I guess you should know… I used to be jealous of Rin.”

Haru stares at Makoto. “Jealous? Of _Rin_?”

Makoto nods. “Yeah. Because you and Rin have something I can’t share in the pool. I wished I could be a part of your life that way too.”

“Makoto…”

Haru can’t think of anything to say, so he says the only thing on his mind. “You’re an idiot.”

“I am, aren’t I?” says Makoto with a smile.

The tension in Haru's shoulders dissolves, and he looks away, towards the window, feeling his cheeks turn pink.

“Rin has that,” says Haru. “But you have everything else of me.”

Makoto squeezes his hand tighter. His smile softens, as Haru turns back to face him.

“As for what would have happened with us if you didn’t come to Tokyo… well, who can say, right? But I think that, if it’s us, we would have found a way, somehow,” Makoto says.

 _If the other person is worth it, you can always find a way to try,_ thinks Haru, his words to Rei running through his mind.

Makoto is worth it. Makoto has always been worth it. And every day, Haru is just a little bit amazed all over again that Makoto thinks he is worth it too, cold, troublesome person that he is and all.

“Yeah,” says Haru, smiling back.

Makoto twines their fingers together slowly, gently, and starts speaking again.

“I told Nagisa once, that when I chose to go to Tokyo, it’s not that I was disappearing from your life. I knew we would always be connected.”

He says this simply and matter-of-factly, like that’s just how it is.

_Inevitable._

The plane intercom crackles then, and the head stewardess’ voice sounds through the cabin.

“We will shortly be commencing our descent to Tokyo Haneda airport. Please put your seat backs upright, stow your tray tables…”

Makoto lets out a long, slow breath. Haru half expects him to start freaking out again about landing, but Makoto just smiles and turns to him.

“We’re almost home, huh?”

_Home._

“Is Tokyo home, now?” Haru wonders, out loud.

“I think, maybe… anywhere that we’ve built memories together is home, Haru.”

Haru doesn’t say anything, just leans against Makoto and breathes in the comforting scent on his neck.

As usual, he doesn’t put the window shade up until the very last possible moment, when the stewardess is practically begging him to do it. As he pulls up the shade, he sees the Tokyo landscape far below them, a breathtaking view of tiny buildings and crisscrossed roads, snowy mountains on the horizon, and the light blue streak of the river running through town, blending into the deep azure of the sea beyond.

An unexpected warmth wells up inside him at the now-familiar sight.

He hears Makoto’s voice then, suddenly. “It’s a nice view, huh…”

Haru turns. To his amazement, Makoto is gazing out of the window as they approach the ground, and he doesn’t look like he’s about to faint.

“It is,” says Haru. "Makoto. You're okay?"

Makoto smiles, and gives him a tiny little nod.

Haru stares, transfixed, into the face of the person he loves, whom he knows inside out and who's still managed to find a way to surprise him, yet again, where he least expects it.

He leans over and presses his lips gently to Makoto’s. Makoto’s hands come up to the back of his neck, fingers running through Haru’s hair as he returns the kiss. Time seems to stop for a moment.

The plane lands on the tarmac with a gentle bump, bringing them back to earth.

To Tokyo, to the New Year, and to the rest of their lives together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's it!
> 
> I've come to the end of the story I wanted to tell, but there will be an epilogue this weekend, just to wrap things up and give you a little glimpse into the boys' futures :) so it's not quite goodbye yet - I'll save the tearful farewell for the very end!
> 
> Thank you so much for reading, everyone. Your comments, kudos, support and messages mean the world to me. I appreciate every note so, so much, you have no idea. Thank you! ♥


	14. epilogue (four years on)

_This place looks like a UFO._

Next to him, Nagisa gasps in awe. “Woaaahhh! It looks like something from space!”

Makoto starts, then smiles, to hear Nagisa echo his thoughts out loud.

Rei runs up to them, out of breath. “Okay, I asked, the entrance for athletes’ friends and families is round this way, let’s hurry!”

“Sheesh, Haru-chan, Rin-chan, give us better directions next time,” says Nagisa, staring up at the wave-like swell of the London Aquatics Centre as they follow Rei round the side of the building. The facade gleams in the sunlight, silvery and rippling.

Makoto laughs. “Honestly, I don’t think Haru even knows where he’s supposed to be going. He just follows Erika-san around… ah, Erika-san is their team manager. You haven’t met her, right?”

“I don’t think we’ve had the chance, Makoto-senpai. We’ve barely seen _you_ since Nagisa moved here last year,” says Rei with a smile.

He casts his gaze skyward, then. "It's a beautiful day.”

Makoto follows Rei's gaze, up towards a clear sky of pastel blue, streaked with wisps of white clouds. A light breeze blows at his face, rustling the leaves on the trees.

"This never happens, by the way,“ Nagisa says to Makoto. “English weather _stinks_! Rei-chan always has the heating on at home.“

He smiles, and Makoto thinks, _Nagisa, your smile hasn't changed at all._ It's brighter than the sun shining down on them, warmer than the summer heat off the pavement.

"It's like London knew you were coming to see us, Mako-chan, and put on some good weather for a change."

“Given that London’s weather never makes any sense, that’s as good a theory as any…” says Rei, thoughtfully.

A sudden, unexpected beep sounds from Makoto’s pocket then.

"Someone's texting you? All the way here? Who is it?" Nagisa asks.

"I don't know,” says Makoto in surprise, fishing out his phone. He flips it open. "Oh!"

_From: Yokoshima Erika  
_ _West stalls, section 5, seats E59-63._

"Erika-san saved us seats!" he says with a grin, showing his phone to Nagisa and Rei.

Nagisa's eyes go wide. "We get _VIP treatment_? Amazing…”

Rei's brow furrows as he reads the message. "That's five seats. Who are the last two for?"

"Yo. Makoto. Glad we caught you guys out here.“

Makoto smiles as he turns, his gaze meeting a pair of deep turquoise eyes. "Long time no see, Sousuke."

"Ah!" Nagisa cries out in delight. "It's Ai-chan! You look so different!”

"Hazuki-kun, please don't call me that..."

Nitori's plaintive protest is cut off by a flying tackle from Nagisa. Rei bursts out laughing, and Makoto can't help but join in too.

He can barely recognise the young man with Sousuke, himself. Nitori has a new haircut, and as it turns out, he's one of those kids who seem to undergo a transformation and a really, really late growth spurt after high school; all well-toned muscle and poise now. Only the lingering vestiges of baby fat on his cheeks - and the slightly harassed look in his eyes as he flails under Nagisa's smothering hug - give it away to Makoto.

"It's so wonderful that you could make it, Nitori-san,” he says, warmly.

Nitori lights up. "I can't believe Senpai invited me to come see him at the _Olympics_! It’s like a dream come true!”

For a moment, Makoto catches a glimpse of the Nitori he knew, flushed and starry-eyed and ready to worship the ground Rin walks on.

_Some things never change, huh?_

He smiles to himself.

"Gou and her mom are inside already. Shall we?” asks Sousuke.

 

//

 

If not for the fact that there are 17,500 spectators, more media cameras than he’s ever seen in one place and a buzz in the stadium that seems to reverberate round the curved roof and straight down to the poolside, flooding his senses, Haru thinks he could almost make himself believe that he’s at any other competition, standing by the starting blocks of any other pool.

But he’s not.

“Unbelievable, huh?” says Rin, glancing over at him with a huge grin on his face.

Haru can only nod, wordlessly.

He scans the stands, and feels like he might go blind from the lights. There are so many people, so many flashing signs and loudhailers.

Their race is the last of the evening. The big climax.

An announcement sounds for the swimmers to take their marks.

“They’re somewhere out there.”

Rin’s gaze follows Haru’s, his grin softening into a smile. They step onto their blocks.

“Our friends. Just like old times.”

_Our friends._

Haru feels himself getting a little choked up, out of nowhere. “Rin…”

The enormity of the moment seems to hit him all at once, and he can barely breathe. He’s really here, in London, with Rin. Swimming in the Olympics. Like Makoto said he would, four years ago.

There’s so much he wants to say, but he doesn’t know how to say it, and of course, they barely have seconds now to speak. So he keeps it short.

“Thank you.”

Rin flashes him a smirk in response. “If you want to thank me, then bring it, Haru.”

Haru’s eyes narrow behind his goggles. He smiles, and turns his gaze ahead, towards the water.

Everything seems to go quiet as he bends into his starting crouch.

The whistle sounds. Haru leaps.

As he plunges into the pool, dolphin kicking powerfully through his dive, he can _sense_ Rin next to him. He knows Rin’s just managed to get the jump on him, edging him out by microseconds on the start.

But everything melts away around Haru, as he comes up for air and strokes on with a lithe, graceful ease, gliding across the surface so smoothly that, somehow, he doesn’t even feel the resistance of the water.

_There’s nothing to fear._

It’s like after all these years, the water has finally, truly reached the pinnacle of accepting Haru, _embracing him_ , down to every atom of every ripple and drop in the pool.

They move together in perfect harmony. His body slides forward effortlessly, through the space that the water carves out, just for him.

_The water is alive._

Haru pulls just ahead of Rin at the turn. Turns have always been Rin’s strong suit, but knowing this, Haru’s been working hard at them.

Tensing like a coiled spring, kicking off the wall with every bit of strength in him, Haru launches himself into the home stretch with Rin a fingertip behind.

He’s dimly aware of the deafening roar of the crowd around them. But here in the water, there’s nothing else but the boundless blue whispering his name, pushing him on.

Soaring, speeding up, _flying_ , Haru’s arms stretch - out towards the shimmering light, the promise of so many years ago -

_A sight I’ve never seen before._

Haru’s fingertips slam against the wall. His head whips up.

 

//

 

“What a beautiful race!”

Rei is almost moved to tears, as they make their way out of the stands slowly.

Makoto isn’t too far off himself. When Haru had touched the wall, he had cheered so hard he’s almost hoarse now. There’s a lump in his throat and something in his eye that he can’t explain away with just the dry English climate.

“Hey, hey, let’s take a picture. Before we leave.”

Before anyone else has a chance to react, Nagisa’s already pressed his phone into the hands of a hapless fellow spectator and gathered the whole bunch of them into a tight huddle at the aisle, with the pool behind them.

Makoto finds himself slinging an arm round Nitori. Nagisa’s pressing his chin into his shoulder, making a V-sign in front of his face.

“Okay, one, two, three, smile!”

 

//

 

Haru lets out a sigh of relief as Erika hustles the last of the media away from him and Rin.

“You’d think they would have had enough of this _childhood rivals_ story by now,” Rin quips.

“Yeah,” says Haru. “But it always comes up in interviews…”

They walk away from the pool together. The crowd’s thinned out now.

“I guess it makes you more human.” Rin punches him lightly on the arm. “Otherwise, you’d just be ice cold Nanase Haruka, the swimbot.”

“ _Swimbot?_ ” Haru repeats.

“Sorry, I meant the Olympic gold medal winning swimbot.”

Haru rolls his eyes at Rin, who flashes him a cocky grin, and waves the silver medal hanging round his neck.

“Next time, you’ll be the one wearing this,” says Rin.

Haru’s lips quirk upwards in a wry smile as they enter the locker room.

The quiet in here is surreal. Now that he’s away from the poolside, from the microphones and cameras and the endless press of people surrounding him, it finally starts to sink in. He pauses in his tracks for a while, feeling the weight of the medal on his chest.

“We did it, Rin,” he says, softly.

Rin nods. A smile spreads slowly across his face, like he’s just beginning to realise it himself.

“Yeah. We did, huh.”

Haru looks at him. “Your dad would be proud.”

Rin’s eyes widen, for a split second. Haru thinks he might start crying. But his smile merely softens, and he looks away.

“Yeah… I think he would too.”

Haru opens his locker. His phone’s inside, notification light flashing. He flips it open to see over a hundred congratulatory texts.

_How am I supposed to read all of this?_

His eyes flick quickly over the senders’ names, looking for one. Then he sees it. But just above -

_From: Hazuki Nagisa_

Haru opens that message first. _WELL DONE HARU-CHAN WE’RE SO PROUD OF YOU!!!_ , it says, with an attachment.

It’s a picture of all of them in the stands, the whole motley crew from their little hometown, faces glowing with excitement. Haru’s heart skips a tiny beat.

He opens the next message.

_From: Tachibana Makoto  
_ _You really are the best in the water, Haru-chan ^_^_

“What are you talking about?” mouths Haru under his breath, almost reflexively, but there’s a warmth swelling in his chest that makes him feel like he might burst.

He reads on.

_I’ll be waiting for you._

Haru types a short reply. _see you soon._

He puts his phone away and gets dressed in a hurry. “Rin. Coming?”

“Yeah. I’m starving.” Rin slams his locker shut. “Let’s go eat some real food. I’m sick of that shit they serve us at the Olympic Village.”

Haru slings his bag over his shoulder. He opens the front flap and reaches into the inner pocket, where he keeps his engagement ring when he swims.

As rings go, it’s particularly understated. A simple band of silver, with Makoto’s name engraved on the inside. No stones, no embellishments, no nothing.

It’s the most precious thing Haru owns.

He takes it out, puts it on, and goes out to meet the others.

**Author's Note:**

> **Author’s End Notes**
> 
> This has been such a wonderful journey. I’m happy to bring it to a satisfying close, but it’s so bittersweet as well.
> 
> From the beginning, there were a few things I wanted “You and I” to do. I wanted it to feel real, to explore the little nuances of their day-to-day lives in Tokyo, to face the question of change and what it means, and to show strong friendships beyond just MakoHaru’s, because that’s so much of what the show is founded on. The HaruRei in the last chapter was one of my favourite bits to write, and of course, I’ve loved all of Rin’s scenes.
> 
> Most of all, I wanted honesty. I’m not really one for big showy moments, in case you couldn’t tell by now, heh ^^;; So I wasn’t really interested in dwelling on or showing the typical milestone moments of a relationship, like the first time saying “I love you” or first time having sex; not that those aren’t important, but there’s a certain starry-eyed romanticism in moments like these that I wanted to avoid, a heightened emotion that, at the end of the day, isn’t really what a relationship is about.
> 
> A relationship is about how you deal with each other’s bad breath in the morning, or strange hobbies, or being separated for the summer, or not getting to see each other every day.
> 
> And… now that the story is done, I feel I can finally share this omake!
> 
> [You and I - Ingrid Michaelson](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XdEN1b-dwlw)
> 
> This is where the name of the story comes from :) it’s such a beautiful, lovely little song, and it feels so _easy_ and comfortable, like Makoto and Haru’s relationship.
> 
> I’ll leave you with the song and my eternal gratitude. Thank you all so much for coming along for the ride. Without you, this fic wouldn’t be what it is ♥
> 
> You can [find me on Tumblr](http://themorninglark.tumblr.com) for Free! meta, shorter ficlets, and updates on whatever I'm working on next!


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